Jealousy problems, please help

[eddie90]

hello, I need some help...Me and girlfriend have been going out for almost 2 months now. She has been over to my house and met my family

and friends and I met her family as well. She works were I work but I only see her 3 days of the week at work. I always take her out every

weekend to the movies,museums,park, etc...Now my problem is that I think Ive attached myself to her really close, so then when I see her

talking to other guys at work and laughs/smiles it gets me very jealous, and also seeing guys post comments on her Facebook.

Now everyday im thinking: Were shes at, and wondering what she is doing at the moment. This thinking and thinking about that is driving me nuts! I cant sleep at night because im thinking of her.

By the way this is my first true relationship Ive ever had (like gf and bf thing) ...How Can I help myself to stop being jealous, and stop thinking so negative?

thanks for reading!

[michelle23]

Your all infatuated by her. Its completely normal in the beginning to feel jealous, anxious, paranoid etc You just need to try to relax. What is the worst thing that could happen? She cheats and you break up, you take the time to get over her, you heal and move on with your life.. That is all there is to it.

It takes time to build trust-just dont tell her that you are having all these thoughts as there is nothing less attractive than a jealous bf/gf.

It is important to have boundaries: example if she has a very close male friend who she wants to hug and text and spend time with alone-that should be a deal breaker-you end the relationship because of that. Another example: if she acts like she is single and flirts with other guys you break up. If she cheats-you break up.

As long as you know what your boundaries are and what you will or wont tolerate then you will be fine. Same rules should apply to both of you obviously.

If you want to have a discussion with her about trust and boundaries-go ahead. But make sure you dont use an accusatory tone. Example: trust is very important to, I feel a relationship is nothing without it and I always want us both to be honest with each other no matter what happens.

[HeartIsAching]

No, that's not normal Michelle. It's insecurity rearing it's ugly head.

OP, You're insecure and you don't trust her. Has she ever done *anything* to make you feel as if you can't trust her? You need to figure out whether or not you can relax and just trust her, because if not, you're eventually going to drive her nuts and she'll be gone. That shit gets old in a hurry.

[michelle23]

HIA it is normal when you are getting to know someone to have doubts, anxiety, insecurity etc http://www.selfcreation.com/relationship-help/what-to-do-when-infatuated.htm

If you are naturally insecure these doubts etc never go away even if the person has proved they are trustworthy

[HeartIsAching]

What he's describing is far more than "getting to know you" insecurity.

[michelle23]

First relationship, fear of losing her, fear of being hurt, feeling insecure, anxious, jealous. I would say it is normal to a certain extent. It just takes time to learn to trust each other. 2 months together-you are still kinda strangers.

Op as long as you dont see any red flags then you likely have nothing to worry about. Most people do not walk into a relationship planning to hurt the other person. If she does hurt you-just walk away