Sticky best girl friend

[Misstinguette]

Hi All,

I am married with a men who was a lovely person in the beginning, and we have kids.
We are married for 3 years and met 4 years ago.

His is constantly in touch with a woman. Things started (a bit by fault) as I agreed in the past to realise his fantasy which was to have sex with two women. So that did happen with this woman and me. After this, I stated that I don't want this to happen as this is just a "fantasy", and also I noticed they were too close: every day on the phone, or text, or see each other. He admitted me that he loves her in front of her. Several months after, he clarified and said this is not the sort of love I think, this is purely friendship love. I don't know if I have to believe as I have a little doubt he said it because I was nearly on the point to break our marriage.
I had a discussion with him and also with her, and explained my feeling about their relationship. She has no respect to call at our home (well on his mobile phone) late when our kids are in bed. We have no privacy.
They have now tried to take some distance to not see each other, but they are still in phone contact. They are missing each other when they don't see. We went recently in holidays, and they were still in touch. I am tired with this situation, and feel like someone really do not care about how I feel and our marriage.
To crown the story, he stated that she is not in love of him, and she is not trying to do anything.. instead she is in love of me. Yukkk. I strongly believe this is still a "continuous" of his fantasy, to see two women together.

I regret what happened in the past, but well, this is done, and you can not erase the past. We can only repair the present. But I am really tired to try to fix up things. There have been more than one year. And I am not getting younger. I hardly see myself in that situation in 3 years.

I am wondering if you guys believe a man can have a best friend (girl) and be in contact everyday, and miss each other when not in contact? I have best friend and very good friends, and none of them I am in touch with that often. Maybe it is me who is seeing in the wrong way.
Am I in a risky situation? I believe yes, as from an "experience-intercourse" that has progressed to love and a daily contact.

Please an external opinion will be good.

Thanks

[thompkevin]

I think you have the right to be uncomfortable in this situation and he shouldn't continue to do something that makes you uncomfortable. From what you said, it does feel like they have feelings for each other. It's good to have friends but this is clearly more than friendship. No one needs to be so desperately friends with someone that he would jeopardize his marriage because of it. Especially, if it's a girl he slept with at one time.

[michelle23]

babe he is cheating on you. All the signs are there. He is way too close to her. If he is not physically cheating then he is definately emotionally cheating and he has strong feelings for her.

Your marriage is over. I am sorry but it is a fact. The sooner you accept that-the better and the sooner you can move on and meet a man who doesnt take you for granted. Right now you are being a doormat, you are just letting him get away with it.

You need to ask him to leave, tell him to go and live with her and look after yourself and your kids. You dont need him

[searock]

I am wondering if you guys believe a man can have a best friend (girl) and be in contact everyday, and miss each other when not in contact?

That is not friendship, that is an emotional affair.

Am I in a risky situation? I believe yes, as from an "experience-intercourse" that has progressed to love and a daily contact.

There is nothing risky since the damage has already been done. He is emotionally cheating on you with this other woman (maybe even physically cheating).

I think you should call him out on his affair and ask him whether he wants things to work between the two of you, or if he'd rather proceed with the divorce.

[Misstinguette]

I think you are all right. It is difficult for me to admit hat the marriage is over or about to, as I am someone who try to attempt to fix up things.
Today we went to see a marriage counsellor, this is our third appointment with. (And it is me who always pay.)
Anyway, today appointment did not go well. So, I did not take any further appointment and just walk out.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She is sticky because you boyfriend is constantly jizzing on her.

[michelle23]

I think you are all right. It is difficult for me to admit hat the marriage is over or about to, as I am someone who try to attempt to fix up things.
Today we went to see a marriage counsellor, this is our third appointment with. (And it is me who always pay.)
Anyway, today appointment did not go well. So, I did not take any further appointment and just walk out.

Hun you gotta kick him out. It is the only option. How will marriage counselling help if he doesn't want to be there and he is still in contact with her? It only works if you are both determined to fix it. It takes two. You cant force him to stop what he is doing.

believe me if you kick him out, he will go and experience life with her for awhile. He will in time realize she is not as perfect as he thinks she is and he will start to regret it. After awhile, he will be back with his tail between his legs begging for another chance. Then you can decide if you want marriage counselling or not. All the power will be in your hands and you can call the shots.

There has to be consequences to cheating. Otherwise he will just continue to make a fool of you. You have to show him you are not a doormat, you will not tolerate this crap and he can go and get stuffed if he thinks he can treat you this way.

You say you dont give up without a fight? He has already given up-he is f**king another woman. What part of that dont you understand? He has thrown it all away, not you! Come on girl grow a backbone, stop being a doormat. If you want any man to ever respect you than you do not put up with this bollox

If it were me he would not get a second chance, it would be over but if you do want to try and make it work-that is what you need to do. Kick him out, give him time to miss you and to realize how bad he has f**ked up, wait for him to come back and let him work hard to win you back, dont welcome him with open arms, you make him pay and make him suffer, go to marriage counselling without letting him move back in and make sure he understands what he has done, how much he has hurt you and that it is gonna take a
lot of time and effort and work to fix this and it is all on your terms, at your pace...

If he is not willing to do that then f**k him. Find a better man and get on with your life