Great girl, good dates but she's gone like this on me... whats going on? :(

[HarryStiles]

Firstly, thanks for the advice. I am not sure what to think so i guess it's always good to get an outside opinion.

I have been on a few dates with a girl whom i met at a party a few weeks ago. I am 24 and she is 20. I have a good job and have had quite a privileged upbringing and at first the girl ( i shall call her Paris) was surprised i was interested in her, she said she was lower class and i could get any girl.

I told her to stop being silly as i liked her, she made me laugh and was beautiful. The truth is, she came up to me at the party, i never would have approached her as she's so pretty.

We have been on a few dates and she said she is not the type of girl to sleep around, she wanted to meet a good guy. I do things like open doors for girls, i am a gentleman.

We went out to dinner and i got her some pink flowers ( her favorite colour) and she had never been on a date or gotten flowers before.

We had another couple of dates and i met her parents last week. When i was getting a drink from her kitchen i over heard her mother telling her not to mess it up with me or push me away. I never said that i heard this.

I also went to pick Paris up at 3am as her car died and i didn't want her walking home. We had some food and sat out until the sun came up at 6am. It was nice and she said that she has never met a guy who treated her like a princess and with such respect before. She said she had never had the small things also like a phone call goodnight and good morning text, like i do. It is her birthday soon and she always wanted to visit the theatre so i said i would take her.

All good so far right?

Well this was up until yesterday.

We went out for the day to an animal park as she always wanted to go. The whole day she was distant and quiet and i asked her what was wrong. She said she was fine, but you know, i knew something was up. She showed me a text message her mother sent her saying " Harry is lovely, i don't see what you are worried about". I asked her what it meant, what was she worried about?

She didn't want to tell me. We had a nice date and i dropped her home.

Last night she went to the movies with her sister and i went to a party. When i got back to my car, i realized she had left her coat in my car so i drove over to her place ( about 40 minutes) and got her a little card saying thank you for the fun day and i left it on her doorstep. She called me at 2am saying thank you, and did i come all that way just to drop it off for her? I said yes, there was no reason i just wanted to. She said it was sweet and thank you and she would call me in the morning.

So today rolls around and i do my usual good morning text. Nothing back.

I left it and Paris called me at 1pm and she sounded down. I asked her if she was okay and she said she was fine. I told her that i care about her and want to get to know her and i appreciate she won't put her walls down for me right away but she needs to a little bit so i can help. I told her whatever was going on, whatever was on her mind, there was nothing she could say or i could find out about her that would make me think different of her.

She got angry and said that she will never ever open up to anyone except her sister and that was it. She said " if you want me to say i'm afraid you'll hurt me, or you won't like what you see when you get to know me, then i won't."

I asked her if that was it, she said no. She said i was pushing her away and that's why she has been distant with me. She then hung up on me.

I then got a message telling me to go away. Followed by another message saying that was from her sister and she could see how much of a bad mood she was in.

I just said okay with a kiss and that was it, a few hours ago.

I just don't know what to do. I think i'm going to leave her alone but have i messed up? I just don't know or can't guess what's going on with her.

[smackie9]

You didn't mess up, this girl has emotional problems. If it's true that her mom said now don't push this one away, that tells me she has done this before not once but many times and her mom is getting fed up with it to the point she had to say something. It's possible she suffers from some kind of depression, possible bi-polar, who knows. Her sister is enabling her behavior by coddling her...this is why she will only turn to her sister. IMO you dodged a bullet here. You didn't do anything wrong at all and you deserve to find someone who doesn't have this kind of emotional baggage. Please don't think you can "rescue her" that would spell disaster.

[basilandthyme]

She's a nutcase. Find yourself a girl who's ready for a relationship.

[michelle23]

I agree. She defo has emotional problems-possibly psychological. Forget her and move on with your life. Find a healthy woman who doesnt blow hot and cold

you shouldnt have enabled her behaviour. She got angry for no reason and you let her be a total b**ch to you. I hope your not the type to let a girl walk all over you. You should never put up with this crap.

If you want this girl to have any respect for you then text her saying "i dont play these games, im out, goodbye"

[namemyname]

She's unstable.

And that message wasn't from her sister, either. She was trying to minimize her crazy. I've done that. lol

Move on. She's not a fixer upper you'll enjoy revamping.

[Empty Road]

i am a gentleman.

How come your gender says female? I thought you came on a bit strong, she's probably not used to that much affection from a guy within a few dates.

[michelle23]

I agree ^^ all the romance and gentleman stuff is probably too much for most women. You should save it until the relationship is more solid. Women are v cautious and weary in the first 4 weeks especially of dating. It is proven that men fall in love faster and let their guard down faster than women do. Being too nice, too romantic, too gentle can be just as bad as being too mean as it is confusing. We would wonder is this guy real or is it an act??

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman and wanting to spoil her a little but maybe just tone it down a little until she trusts you and feels safe

Good luck

[4 ratties]

I would just give her some space.. If this girl is worth it, then just be patient, and wait for her to come to you. If you keep buggin her at this point, she's going to run away scared forever