Right decision?

[Chris88]

So i got out of a relationship of 9 months and was very sad afterwards. So my girlfriend (that i know likes me) comforted me and gave me a lot of advice after the breakup. We started to spend a lot of time together, and after one dinner she set me an ultimatum. Just friends or try and give our relationship a go? I said that we should give it a try.

It went well for 3 Months or so when i started to get distant, i would get home and not tell her, Kissed her less and less.. i just couldn't do it any more to myself and her so broke things off.

I know realize that i never should have got into a new relationship so quickly after a breakup. I care for her with all my heart, she is one of the most caring and understanding girlfriends that i have ever had and don`t want to loose her friendship. The problems are we live very close to each other and see each other almost every day, and she is friends with my friends. I get sad and bit jealous when i see other people spending time there. Is this normal? I`m just scared i made a mistake and will only realize it down the line or when she is with someone else.

It has been almost 2 weeks since i broke things off.

[michelle23]

She was a rebound. It was too soon after the breakup. You need to tell her that. Tell her you are sorry if you hurt her, you never meant to, you just cant be with anyone right now as it was too soon after your last breakup and you just need some time out. Tell her you are sorry you wasted your time and you hope she meets a great guy who will treat her right.

Don't be friends with her. You will just make it harder on both of you. Move on, accept its over and get on with your life.

There is no going back even IF you regret it. It is not fair to hop in and out of her life like a yo-yo and have everything on your terms. Learn from your mistake and make sure you are over someone old before starting something new in future

[VerticalMoon]

It wasn't working. You were already having a hard time with the relationship after just three months. If you'd stay, you'd just be continuing to struggle with the same issues you had before. Missing somebody after you've just left them is normal. It doesn't mean the relationship shouldn't have ended

You should really give yourself a few more months to get past your feelings for the previous girl and figure out what you really want from this last one. It will work out one way or the other. There are always opportunities to meet new women. You can't let fear dictate your life.

[searock]

The relationship with your friend never stood a chance, since when you started dating you were still mourning over your recent break-up. You should have waited until you were completely over your ex before dating somebody new.

I think what you should do now is to cut off contact with her, limit your interactions with her to the ones you can't avoid (e.g. say "hi" if you bump into her or something), nothing more. Give yourself time to process both break-ups.

If after about 6 months you realize you still have feelings for your friend, you can try approaching her again, asking her out and explaining why it went wrong the first time. Even though I'm pretty sure she will not give you another chance after you broke her heart this time, it will still be worth a try.

In any case, learn your lesson: do not date anyone you care about when you are still emotionally invested on another person.