Had a really bad night last night and today

[michelle23]

I don't want advice really coz there's nothing I can do about it. Just want to share and get this off my chest. I'm just really missing my Granddad and my aunt right now. I feel very hurt and sad and lonely. Thinking of happy memories which make me smile, laugh and then cry.. Its really hard when someone we love dies. Hard to accept we wont see them again. I am going to go to the graves on Sunday and bring flowers and i think I will make a nice memory book or photo album.

I am trying to keep busy and distract myself. This forum helps a lot so thanks guys. Sometimes I feel so lost in my own world like I am trying to block everything and everyone out. I am afraid to grieve properly this time because it was so hard the last time. Its like I'm not ready for it and trying to run away.. but I cant. I am much stronger this time. I am coping okay. I just keep thinking that its gonna hit me like a ton of bricks one random day and I'm scared. I don't want to go through the same pain I went through when I lost my aunt. It took two and a half years just to feel normal again and it affected every aspect of my life in one way or another.

I know I will be okay though. I just have to let time heal me again

[pcmaster]

Yeah thats how it is in life old people die and young contiune life. Thats just part of life. Remember when my granny died. I was totaly cool about it. It wasnt surprise cause she was 85 and inside I knew that theres no much years left for her. Now later I realise how much good she did to people around her and how little got apreciated. She died for what she believes in. She could die in her bed on her back but she died doing something that matters.

[HeartIsAching]

I remember.

I remember my grandmother.
I remember Ricky.
I remember Matthew.

I remember. You've got my sympathies.