stringing me along?

[sadsack123]

So I could really use a female perspective on my situation. Dated this girl for 7 months she broke it of with me after an argument. She stated its for the best as we keep hurting each other. I told her its not what I want but won't stand in her way. The thing is after all was said and done she started texting me and being all sweet. We met up a few days later and she started kissing me. Then said she's sorry she shouldn't have kissed me. We saw each other the next day and went to a movie, she grabbed my hand and started holding it and on the way back to the car she grabbed and put my arm around her. She text me the next morning and said its hard being friends, I agreed and she said what can we do about it? I said I don't know and she said I guess we'll just have to try. The trouble is the whole thing kind of feels like a game and as much as I love her and want to be with her I don't want to get played. I'm playing me cards very close to my chest trying not to push for anything or scare her off.
Sorry. Hope this makes sense. Thank you in advance

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Put all your cards on the table. Tell her you either want to date her or never speak to her again. If she says anything but she wants to date you, ignore her from then on.

[Maple1714]

Backup is right...sigh. This is truly the only way to deal with people who can't make up their minds about being close to us. It really isn't that difficult, you either want to be romantically involved with someone or not. People always know what they really want, but sometimes they try and make themselves feel things they *think* they are supposed to feel....for many different reasons. So you end up with lame situations like the one you are describing. Just tell her you love her and that's it. If she doesn't reciprocate then never talk to her again and move on.

Also, I would bet that this girl isn't trying to play games with you or hurt you intentionally. She just doesn't know how to be strong enough to stick by how she really feels. She is being selfish and weak by not being able to say goodbye to you for real.

[basilandthyme]

Yep, she can't make up her mind. It's time to tell her that the two of you can be together or go No Contact.

Having said that, is it wise to get back together if there were frequent fights? Why would things be different this time? What issues were so important that the two of you needed to fight about them?

[sadsack123]

Yep, she can't make up her mind. It's time to tell her that the two of you can be together or go No Contact.

Having said that, is it wise to get back together if there were frequent fights? Why would things be different this time? What issues were so important that the two of you needed to fight about them?

The thing is we didn't even fight that much. It was because I was moody with her and it made her feel I wasn't interested any more, which I know was horrible of me and I regret it hugely. I guess I'll just have to take that dive and see what happens. It's hurting so much and I am afraid to lose her. I'm kind of have started to think that if she did want to be with me she would have said so. That said she is extremely stubborn. I just miss her in my arms. A few more things. She drunk dialed me last night but I missed her call and she has been keeping in almost constant contact since the breakup. Her initiating not me. And she keeps complimenting me and calling me the sweet names she did when we were together. Basically she ended it but acts like we're still together.

[michelle23]

There is something you need to learn: and that is to have self respect. I know your hurting, clinging on, hoping she will change her mind, in denial, thinking if your her friend you can win her back blah blah blah but the reality is you just went from bf to b**ch.

Dont let her mess with you. She ended it, its over so have enough dignity and pride to walk away. She will use you as her emotional tampon for as long as you let her. If you want her to respect you then tell herstraight-you have enough friends-you dont need anymore and tell her if its over, over so dont contact you again.

If she does-block her from your phone

[sadsack123]

There is something you need to learn: and that is to have self respect. I know your hurting, clinging on, hoping she will change her mind, in denial, thinking if your her friend you can win her back blah blah blah but the reality is you just went from bf to b**ch.

Dont let her mess with you. She ended it, its over so have enough dignity and pride to walk away. She will use you as her emotional tampon for as long as you let her. If you want her to respect you then tell herstraight-you have enough friends-you dont need anymore and tell her if its over, over so dont contact you again.

If she does-block her from your phone

Well I guess I got to do what got to do. Thanks for being honest as much as it hurts I don't like to be played

[michelle23]

Cutting her off and ignoring her completely may make her run back and beg for another chance. DONT give in. Tell her its too late now. Believe me if you take her back she will dump you again wkthin 2months