wierd ex stuff...

[anon13]

Ok.. me ex broke up with me like 3 months ago after a long relationship..it got really messy but I was pretty sure I was over it.. So I saw her at a club the other night and I just said hi and by chance I ended up stayin at the same house as her and her friend.. no problems.. didnt talk much until the next day when I helped them find the bags they lost the night before... We found them and I ended up spending the whole day with them just chatting havin a laugh ect and we decided we would be friends again.. at this point i didnt feel anything, like I wanted to get back with her or anything.. anyway she left something in my car and said she was staying at her friends and to call her tommorow bout it so I did and she said "im not at my friends, im somewhere else". most likley a guys house.. when she said this my heart just sunk.. I dont see why cos I really feel im over her so why am i upset by this?? Am I not really over her?? should I end contact to save me any more hurt?

Btw, we are both really young, im 18 shes 17.. if thats relevent..
also since we broke up shes gone abit off the rails.. shes going to rank bars and getting with less than desirebale guys a fair bit older than her.. which worrys me cos she used to be really innocent..
Any help on this situation would be really good.. cos im very confused by it all..thanks in advance

[misombra]

ah it's normal to feel that. it doesn't mean you're not over her it's natural, really. but if it's too much you might want to consider no contact. you were a good sport to hang out for so long.

[douloveme613]

Jealousy is a very common feeling, even if you were never with someone. Women tend to feel jealous over a guy or even just a friend showing attention to some other woman just because that's how we are. ;-) It sounds like you could be better off spending your time with other people as she is becoming somewhat of a different person. I have been in the boat where you have to be the friend of an ex. Not a great position to be in... difficult, but sometimes it works - and sometimes it doesn't. Plus, you are both young still... move on!

[anon13]

Jealousy is a very common feeling, even if you were never with someone. Women tend to feel jealous over a guy or even just a friend showing attention to some other woman just because that's how we are. ;-) It sounds like you could be better off spending your time with other people as she is becoming somewhat of a different person. I have been in the boat where you have to be the friend of an ex. Not a great position to be in... difficult, but sometimes it works - and sometimes it doesn't. Plus, you are both young still... move on!

Yeah shes changed alot and i dont realy feel attracted to her physically or emotoinally but our relationship ment ALOT to me and took me ages to get over and i guess i havent really let go of it all together...But I dont really want to say to her nah we cant be friends anymore cos 1. I like speninding time with her, even just a friend and 2. well it would be rude... and I would see her most saturday nights anyway... Any more advice ... Please

[anon13]

Things just took a turn for the worst.. It turns out shes been dating another guy for the last month and is now moving in with him.. I feel just as bad now as when we 1st broke up .. im really upset by it.. she didnt want to tell me but now she has i feel like shit.. I think i still have feelings for her after all.. or maybe im just upset shes moving on so well.. Either way I feel like total shit again
Have I just gone and reset the whole healing process cos thats what it feels like

[misombra]

she's moving in with him after a month?

don't worry, it probably won't last very long. that is not a normal, healthy thing to do.

[TAVS]

No, you should worry and you should move on. You should have kept her at a distance from the moment you saw her at the club.

Just because they're moving in together after 1 month doesn't mean a thing. My Ex and I moved in together within that time frame. Technically we had our own places but we stayed together every night and eventually ended up with a shared pad. That lasted for four years. Although we're separated at this point, I'm very optimistic we'll still end up getting married in the long run. I won't bore you with my story as it's posted elsewhere.

Walk away. Rely on whatever coping mechanisms you used the last time.

[anon13]

N.

Just because they're moving in together after 1 month doesn't mean a thing. My Ex and I moved in together within that time frame.

Yeah but was she or he 16 at the time??

I thinks shes making alot of mistakes and going down the wrong track .. she has issues, she suffered from depression which required medication at one point before we were going out,she was emotionally all over the place when we went out..not just normal stuff either..she mentioned suicide at times and so many times I told her to talk to someone and she said she would but kept just forgetting about it when she felt abit better.. and she goes out clubbing like times a week to places she really shouldnt be at the age of 16 not to mention moving in with a guy older than her.. But it still hurts so much to see her with some one else.. and I wish I was able to help her sort herself out

[TAVS]

Yeah but was she or he 16 at the time??

Oh, no, good point.

[RSK]

bump - king me

[anon13]

sorry?? .......