My friend is getting too flirty with me and I'm not happy about it?

[DepressedSad]

I don't know what to do.. He's someone I've known for about 2 years. He's a nice guy, and we keep in touch daily, and started texting too. and it's fine. I can be flirty with him in a joking way. but we've never had feelings for each other beyond flirty jokes.. but today, he started saying things that shows he wants to take it to a seriously sexual level.. and I really, don't feel that way about him! I don't know what to do.

I'm still in love with my ex, and have a broken heart, and trying really hard to get over him.. I'm just feeling overwhelmed.. I don't know how to handle this. I need some advice??

[searock]

Here we go again...

Tell him in a clear, explicit way that you are not interested in him in any way other than as a FRIEND. You need to make this very clear - use those exact words.

Here are some general guidelines to female-male friendship.

1. There can be no friendship if there is physical attraction, even if one-sided.
2. Friends don't keep in touch every single day and they don't text all the time.
3. Friends don't flirt with each other.
4. Friends don't touch each other - no hugs, kisses on the cheeks, or any of that.
5. Friends don't go on one-on-one dates with each other (movies, dinners, etc).

You might want to remember these very simple guidelines for the next time you decide to "make friends" with a guy. You have been sending out the wrong signals to this guy. You can't flirt with someone and expect him not to think that you're interested in him as more than friends, it's just common sense.

The "friendship" with this guy is over, because he is physically attracted to you. It was probably never a real friendship to being with, since I believe he has been attracted to you since the beginning. He just hoped that someday you would develop feelings or even just lust for him.

[basilandthyme]

You're single. The two of you keep in touch daily and can be flirty. I'm not surprised he's got the wrong idea.

You need to talk with him. And then pull back from having such frequent contact and stop the flirting

[DepressedSad]

It's not been that clear cut between us, it's so long and complicated but he was in a relationship with a girl that was abusive and awful to him, she broke his heart, I've been in the same way with a guy that broke my heart. so we just sort of supported each other with friendship during the difficult time.. A few times last year, he said he wished that he'd fallen in love with me before her, and I said the same to him about wishing I'd fallen in love with him first.. but we never felt enough for each other to take it to another level.. Back in the fall, he was very heart broken over his ex, and he didn't even come around to talk to me in 3 months.. and the in the Spring, he started talking to me again, not a whole lot, but when we started texting, it's been an everyday kind of thing..

I know that he's had depression, he's been in love with like 3 girls that pretty much rejected him, he thinks he's got no shot. I feel like I'm a safety net to him in so many words.

but he was saying today he wants to send me a "naughty" pic of him, and was sending sexting type chat..


I really didn't think that he would want to get sexual with me. It totally hit me by surprise. and in some ways, I am insulted too, that there is nothing romantic in what he's said, just sexual.. I know he has respect for me otherwise, he's never insulted me, or used me or anything..

but this.. I just, I hate the thought of having to hurt him. but I don't believe he's being particularly respectful to me in this either.

[basilandthyme]

And now there's talk of wishing you'd met each other first and supporting each other through breakups..... Now I'm even less surprised it's come to this.

Just tell him that you have no interest in a FWB and are not ready for a relationship. And you STILL need to back off the mutual support/chat

[searock]

Wow... how could you NOT see it coming?!

[surfhb2]

This is perfectly normal

Why not try go outside the box and date the guy? Maybe you'll be good for each other