Two Year Relationship, Still Usure?

[ProfessorDrop]

Dear world,

I don't know what to do.
I have been dating the most wonderful man for two years now. We met when I was a senior in high school and he was a college freshman. Now we are both in college and, due to financial reasons, living at our respective homes, doing our best to live as independently as we can (or work up to it!). Neither of us have ever dated anyone else.

For the first year or so in the relationship, he was very romantic--always bringing me flowers, picking me up and carrying me for no reason, surprising me with little gifts when I was having a bad day, always telling me I was amazing and beautiful. Now it seems like that's gone missing. He gets tired a lot and wants to nap all the time. He's been working out and is hungry constantly, so he never wants to leave the general area because he wants to be close to home so he can go get his meals in. He doesn't surprise me like that anymore, and the kissing has even reduced. Though I'm slightly underweight, I'm very insecure about my round belly, and he has told me that while he prefers a flatter, smaller one, he loves me and therefore it, but I can't help being hurt when I notice him distracted by other women or hear him talk about celebrities and whatnot. He calls me "cute" and teases me about being awkward and "different," which I understand is the truth, but I miss being beautiful.

Lately he's picked up this habit of baby-talk. It started as a joke between us, but morphed into an entire thing, where whole days would go by with us communicating in baby-talk or he'll start singing in baby-talk during silent moments. I've told him that I don't enjoy it because it makes me feel childish and false, but he loves it so much and I don't want to hurt him. He's very silly and goofy and little-boyish, cuddling into me and acting like a little kid, not like the strong, masculine protector he was before. The other day he said it was because now he "wasn't trying to impress me anymore." Now he's being himself, which upsets me because I make the effort to impress him every day.

Now, I am an artist and writer, and he is an athlete and musician. He is very proper, well-mannered, and polite. A lot of my writing makes him uncomfortable and upsets him because I tend to be graphic and realistic. He says I gravitate towards the "uncomfortable," which to him is what "most writers do," and I worry constantly that he'll never love my writing the way I love his music and athletic achievements. I respect Nabokov and Palahniuk--he does not.

And finally, and this is personal, (PARENTAL ADVISORY)
we haven't had sex.

He is saving himself for marriage, but at this point marriage would be several years off. He only wants one partner and is afraid of having sex with me and me not being "the one." I used to feel that way, but then I discovered what love truly meant to me and want nothing more than to express the depth of emotional intimacy with him by expressing it physically. We have done other things besides....but no intercourse. It makes me very sad, and I've cried several times over it, because though I've expressed this desire and done everything I can to show him how serious I am, he doesn't want to with me. It's even more frustrating because he is VERY male and VERY "driven" all the time. But HE isn't sure about me, and so I wait.

What DOES work is: we share the same core values. We have the same interests. We have the best conversations. We both express love the same way (art, quality time, fun projects and adventures, etc.). He is funny and we make each other laugh. I'm very physical as well, so we want to be active, healthy, organic, and fit all our lives, and want to travel. He supports me in everything I do, and I him. He has been instrumental in shaping who I am and what I want to be, and I would be lost without him. And what's more, I love him very, very much.

I don't know if I should cut it off or if it's worth it.
I am so confused. I just need other voices, please.

[miss.groomer]

im a hopeless romantic.. id wait.. and the little things dropping off, its normal hun!! sad but true, it happens to every woman in the world. that's what men do

[basilandthyme]

you've outgrown him. It's time to move on and experience other men and relationships

[Boisdevie]

He's 'saving himself' for marriage. What a jerk. Dump him and find a grown up who doesn't need to communicate in baby talk.

[michelle23]

I think its time to move on. He makes you feel insecure and inadequate. I would imagine that every woman on the planet feels a little insecure about her pot belly. Even the skinniest have a little pouch there. Its totally normal and its the way we are. Hes an idiot if he thinks he will every meet a girl who has a completely flat stomach unless shes 15

anyway move on. That whole no sex before marriage is stupid. Would you buy a car without taking it for a test drive first?

[TablesandChairs]

Honestly, my first thought was 'he's gay' - not just because of the no sex thing, but the putting you down physically. His working out excessively could be a way of...stemming the urges...

He's sort of sugar coating the way he puts you down; 'I love the way you are but...obviously I'd prefer it if you had wash board abs'. That's a put down, plain and simply. I'm thin but my tummy is a little rounded because I'm a woman! Most women are like this unless they work out and get abs. Many guys don't like wash-board, muscular women; thin but curvy is actually attractive. Don't let him mess with your head.

[ProfessorDrop]

How should I say this....we've done enough for me to be assured that no, he is DEFINITELY not gay. And he's fine with my stomach, but I look nothing like any of the other women he finds attractive. There is so much worth salvaging in this relationship, but at the same time so much dysfunction. I just don't know if it is all workable or if it IS time to move on.

[SqueamishPuppet]

Well I guess I was a little like this guy in some since. My GF was skinny but didn't have a perfect body like you see on TV or magazines which I had no problem with I thought she was so sexy and loved her the way she was. She would get down on herself because of the slight rounded belly thing. she would say she was fat and stuff which I would try and reassure her she wasn't. But I told her if she wanted the body she had 4-5 years ago she was going to have to work for it again. She used to work out on a regular basis and eat healthy. Now she hardly ever does those things. I didn't say it to put her down, I said it to be more of an encouragement or whatever to let her know it's normal. She felt the same way about the little things that we used to do that made her feel special but like one person said those things fade and I knew that. She stopped doing those things for me too but felt I didn't make her feel special. It's not that he doesn't like you its just your relationship has gotten past those things. He does sound pretty immature talking like a baby all the time and not able to be serious.

After our breakup I realized she was very insecure. It sounds your the same way. Sorry to put it so bluntly.