Is it really over?

[saxton18]

First off let me introduce myself, my name is Dillon and I am 21 years old. I have recently have had my heart shattered into pieces. I met this girl when I was a senior in high school and she was a freshman. I met her through my cousin she was at her house and I was there as well. We instantly clicked and started hanging out, the first date was the first kiss. It felt every bit of magical. She is a beautiful girl and I knew at that point that we were PERFECT for each other. Well things started to heat up, i took her virginity after a while and we were inseparable. Together everyday. Things went so well for 25 months, then things got a bit bad. This was because I had went off to college and I run track in college and I was hardly able to see her. So we stuck it out and stayed together. We were fine, then things got hard on her. She got into a fight with her mom and she had to move to her dads which is like an hour away from where we live, but we broke up. She decided that she could not do it anymore. I was heartbroken, i couldn't eat, sleep, or do anything at all. I was this way for some time and then I started to get better. I started to talk and hang out with other girls and I thought I was over her until I got "The Call" It was her, she was bawling her eyes out and she was begging me to come meet with her. OF course I went and met with her, we cried together and held each other. We stayed together that night at my sisters, we didn't do anything sexually just kissed and cuddled all night. Well we got back together and that was a month ago. We broke up last Sunday because she said that I didn't trust her. I do admit that I do have some trust issues and stuff but we would fight over the little things through texting, but when we were together it was perfect, never fighting just pure love for each other. We talked of getting married and having kids after she graduated high school. She has one more year of high school left. she is a senior. This is her senior year. WE are now not together and I am heartbroken once again . I love this girl so much and I know that she loves me. We hardly talk. When I ask her if she is moving on and if she will ever be together with me again she says " I am not moving on Dillon, I have no intentions on being with anyone else, and you never know, I don't know the future so I can't answer that question". I am upset but I am starting to accept the fact that maybe she is gone for good? I don't know what to do. Do I hold on to hope? OR does this sound like she is done? She tells me that we should just be friends for now but she still loves me.. I want so bad to wait on her, but I don't know what to do. She is literally my life, she told me she don't want to be with anyone until she graduates because she has so much she is going through.. So... What do you guys suggest that I do? AND what is going on inside of her head?! Is she really done with me? Or is she just confused about what she wants in her life? I have never EVER cheated on her, always treated her well and took care of her, minus the little arguments we had bc of the distance there really was nothing bad about the relationship.. I am afraid she is going to fall for another guy and forget all about me. Some say that you never forget your first love, and I was her first love, and the first person to ever do anything with her sexually..

All advice is welcome.

[smackie9]

I suggest you both just move on. A whole lot can change over a year or so. If you can't stay in a relationship now, then you both are just cheating each other to find happiness elsewhere. Things may seem hopeless now, but you both will move on. As we get older we change, everything about us changes like what is going on in our lives, our priorities, our interactions with others, meeting new people, becoming adults, hitting drinking age etc. All these things contribute to change and who we become, so how you feel now may not exist 6 months down the road. Of course you are going to worry about her meeting someone new etc, because your feelings are still raw, but like before your feelings dissipate with time and things like that won't matter. It's just part of what we all go through in life. Live and let live.

[4 ratties]

I suggest let her enjoy being a kid while she's at the final straw of it. Let her enjoy her senior year without the drama of a long distance boyfriend. Hit her up when she's an adult and can do what she wants. Like move closer to u and such. She's still a kid and is stuck at daddy's house. Not much she can do and long distance is so hard.

[VerticalMoon]

If you'd just broken up once, I'd think there was the possibility that it was just a learning experience. But she's broken up with you twice now. It's either the end of the relationship, or the start of a yo-yo relationship. Unfortunately, if it's the second, those don't really work. You go through a long period of going back and forth where your heart gets broken over and over again. Then, over time it completely destroys the relationship. People who can't stay together with each other just don't work out. At this point, even she wants you back, you are really much better off just ending the entire thing. Staying friends with an ex you felt this strongly about doesn't really work either. The feelings are always there, so you end up back together and on the yo-yo I described. I know the last thing you probably want to hear is that you should cut off all contact, but it would really be best for everyone involved.

It's rare to see couples who get together when they are in high school make it, even though so many of them think they well. It's just an age when you are learning a lot about yourself, life, and relationships. Kids that age haven't had the time that older people have had to really reflect on what they hope to find in a life partner. High school kids usually fall in love first and build their dreams around their partner. Then when the feelings start to fade, they wonder why they chose that particular person and if it was really the right choice. This is what I believe your ex is going through. She still needs to learn more about herself and isn't ready for a serious relationship.

You need to focus on moving on and getting better again. Leave things in the past. You will always hold special memories of each other somewhere in your hearts, but you need to move on with your lives.

[madelinel]

Hi, first love is not easy to get over with.. you mentioned you had some trust issues with her.. why is that? you suspect she cheated on you? I think it is very common for young couples to argue and fight over little things. but you need to understand that every time you fight, it will have some negative impact on your relationship with her.. why not learn to compromise and learn to forgive? If it is trivial things, it is not worth hurting your relationship by arguing and fighting over.. she is still young..i think you should just stay friends with her and be there for her.. don't show that you are very desperate.. if you two are destined to be together, you will be together.. stay strong