Can a future fakers/anti-committal men be detected fast?

[BlueMoonSal]

Future faker is the type of man that promises his gf that there will be deeper commitment and convinces her that it will happen but it never does. That's the major reason I was always against cohabitation and I'm still not interested in it. Most of the stories I've read over the past years, those types do nothing but fake future with false promises.

Can does type of men be detected within miles away or are they hard to be recognized until we stupidly spend time with them? I just refuse to be used or string along. I don't fall for sweet words without actions either.

[BlueMoonSal]

They reminded me of telemarketers promising you that you'll get free stuff or telling you that you're going to win lots of money, only to find out you've been scammed. I'm get so mad everything I heard about more recent stories about those fakes. It makes me think they're doing it on purpose without any consideration for what they're doing to the girl and how they're wasting her time.

[TAEHSAEN]

You can't really know it unless you date someone for about a month or two...

The thing is, you'll find yourself in a catch 22 situation at that point. If this guy is a faker, you would still feel attracted to him regardless although you know deep inside that he's lying.. So you can't help but fall further in...

I guess you just have to give it time and see how that guy's personality really is.. If someone is good at faking, there really is no way of finding out..


Maybe try and find out how long his previous relationships lasted?

[BlueMoonSal]

So let's say the man I were dating for a long while it's a good faker, can he still get me even when I'll flat out refused to move in with him without serious commitment (engagement with an exact date set on and invitations passed out)? I'm wondering how would the faker be able to pull that out and successfully played me.

[TAEHSAEN]

But what makes you doubt him enough to call him a faker?

Has he done anything that makes you doubt him?

What if hes just an innocent guy who really loves you?


If he didn't give you any signs on being a faker, then you're being unfair with him.


I guess if you don't have any real signs, the only way for you to find out is to ask his friends about his past relationships.. If he dated his previous gfs for a long time and had a legitimate excuse to end his previous relationships, then I'd say hes a good prospect.


If you DONT have any signs, then I'd say that you should learn to stop doubting him. Negativity will rub off on the relationship and may make it fade away.

[pcmaster]

You can figure out these man. They talks a lot says they love you and promises castles in the sky. But dont listen what they saying. Just look at what they doing. Look how much of what they saying are actually backed up with actions. They promise a lot for the future but "later". They give little things at present but nothing as big as they promise.

You can catch these guys by word just asking to do something that they promise and they made all kind of excuses, or just say "Dont worry you will see..." But ofcourse you wont see.

[BlueMoonSal]

But what makes you doubt him enough to call him a faker?

Has he done anything that makes you doubt him?

What if hes just an innocent guy who really loves you?


If he didn't give you any signs on being a faker, then you're being unfair with him.


I guess if you don't have any real signs, the only way for you to find out is to ask his friends about his past relationships.. If he dated his previous gfs for a long time and had a legitimate excuse to end his previous relationships, then I'd say hes a good prospect.


If you DONT have any signs, then I'd say that you should learn to stop doubting him. Negativity will rub off on the relationship and may make it fade away.

Sometimes maybe it's better to be kind of skeptical and find out he was being truthful afterall than blindly believe in every word he says and get strung along.

[TAEHSAEN]

Sometimes maybe it's better to be kind of skeptical and find out he was being truthful afterall than blindly believe in every word he says and get strung along.

Yes agreed. You're right..

But as pcmaster said, see if he always keeps his promises.

Ask him to do stuff for you and see if he's reliable.

Make him skip work for you because you're really missing him and want to go to the beach with him. He might say no at first, but insist on it and say that "if you love me, you'll skip work today and go with me". See what he does.

If he skips work for you to spend time with you, you can know that hes the kind of guy to keep because he prioritizes you over his job.


However, the solutions here are a little cruel. Hopefully it all works out for both of you

[JoeyJR]

if the dude has a solid A game doubt you will catch him on the slip.

You need to screen him carefully.

[basilandthyme]

If he skips work for you to spend time with you, you can know that hes the kind of guy to keep because he prioritizes you over his job.

it also means he has a poor work ethic and is not above lying. I don't think he'd be a great catch at all.

[basilandthyme]

Sometimes maybe it's better to be kind of skeptical and find out he was being truthful afterall than blindly believe in every word he says and get strung along.

Ah, but an honest man may well resent you being sceptical if he's done nothing to hurt you. I know if I were single wouldn't bother with a sceptical man....

[basilandthyme]

Future faker is the type of man that promises his gf that there will be deeper commitment and convinces her that it will happen but it never does. That's the major reason I was always against cohabitation and I'm still not interested in it. Most of the stories I've read over the past years, those types do nothing but fake future with false promises.

Can does type of men be detected within miles away or are they hard to be recognized until we stupidly spend time with them? I just refuse to be used or string along. I don't fall for sweet words without actions either.

In the 20+ years I've been of marrying age, I've known only one girl who's boyfriend wouldn't propose. But he wasn't stringing her along: instead, he'd told her openly that he was never going to marry her but she kept thinking he'd change her mind.

I think very few men lie or fake commitment. Instead, I believe the cause of the problem is the women who refuse to believe what he's telling her.

If he tells you he doesn't believe in marriage. Or if he tells you "you're too good for me". Or if he says he was terribly hurt by his ex and is nervous.......BELIEVE what he says and go find someone else.

[BlueMoonSal]

In the 20+ years I've been of marrying age, I've known only one girl who's boyfriend wouldn't propose. But he wasn't stringing her along: instead, he'd told her openly that he was never going to marry her but she kept thinking he'd change her mind.

Wow, that must be some desperate girl with self-esteem issues. If a man doesn't want to commit to me and openly says that, then it would be a waste of my time to still want him.

If he tells you he doesn't believe in marriage. Or if he tells you "you're too good for me". Or if he says he was terribly hurt by his ex and is nervous.......BELIEVE what he says and go find someone else.

In that case, he would save me a lot of time. I would be gone within seconds.

[basilandthyme]

Good to know you won't tolerate any of that.

So......why are you worried? Do you not trust yourself to walk away?

[BlueMoonSal]

Good to know you won't tolerate any of that.

So......why are you worried? Do you not trust yourself to walk away?

It's the point of even briefly spending time with them. I know I would obviously walk away immediately but it would be a bit irritating and annoyed that you even gave them a couple moments of your time while the serious men must be looking for us.