Need a woman's opinion

[Alan45]

Ill try to make this as short as possible.

I was in a relationship with a girl for about a year. We argued constantly, and at the time i believed it to be her always demanding more than I was ready for. And for the most part this is correct, she was in love with me but i was not in love.(don't get me wrong I cared for her and wanted to be with her) And well long story short we broke up, I stopped talking to her. At the time I felt it was the right thing to do, since we were not on the same page. Two months later after alot of self reflecting, her mother fell and became injured. It was a big scare for her since her father is not around. She told me and I went and helped in any way possible. It pained me greatly to see her in the state she was, and it all kinda dawned on me how MUCH she really ment to me.

We started to hang out more, up to 4th of July, things were getting kinda touchy feely.. but nothing ended up happening. The next day, I told her i wanted to be with her again.(big mistake) She tore me a new one and said no way that this will happen. She said she no longer loved me in that way, and that it was pointless for me to try. I pleaded for a chance, just to be here and win her back.
Which she ultimately said yes to. I have been going to see her for a month and 2 weeks now. she has reminded me about once a week that her feelings for me have not grown. However, i do not see it that way. It may be wishful thinking but i really feel she is starting to allow me back in her life. She continues to mention that she wants to be single and alone and free. Yet we really act like a couple in the things we do(not much hand holding or hugging going on, but I do sleep over. And gradually we have started sleeping closer together)

Well, we had sex. We were in bed together, I was rubbing my hands over her body and eventually all over. She started to get into it as I did and we had sex. It was very short lived.. I did not finnish, and after she pushed me away and said to leave her alone. I did for the rest of the night.

The next morning she was acting a bit weird, we got ready to go out for the day and i asked if she was ok, then kissed her shoulder. She said stop, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I politely said don't worry I haven't and walked away. Since then she no longer appears weird. But now any touching is brushed away or met with a disapproving grunt. This is not consistent tho, we watched a movie and she asked me to lay down next to her. Which of course i did, and hugged her with no disapproval. Until the end of the movie.

If i ignore what she says.. i feel we are making progress. if i listen to her.. its all hopeless..
Its really doing a number on me...
I am very fearful of her finding another person while im attempting to win her back.

Sorry for the essay.. but i would appreciate any input.

Thank You

[anonymous_a]

Sounds like she is keeping you around for emotional support and that's about it. The sex may have been an accident to her. She may have gotten carried away and realized it was a mistake half way through. If you really care for her, you should leave her alone, COMPLETELY. Otherwise you will end up getting hurt. She doesn't want a relationship with you, that much is clear. To me, a woman, it sounds like she is using you and keeping you around until someone she actually wants to date comes along.

[smackie9]

Dude you are not going to win her back. Lets face it, your relationship with her sucked so why have a need to revisit that train wreck. have some self worth and erase her from your life. You will do better without her.....sticking around for her won't win you any pots of gold at the end of the rainbow.