bf and 'emotional affair' more to it than that?

[josie33]

so i found out 4 days a go my bf of 11yrs been txtig another woman 'we nd to take it slow' n 'i never felt this way b4. he also told me he met her 4 times over past mnth after work (colleagues) when bin home late. but swears he dnt do anymore than talk. he cdnt do it. he just felt so unloved at home. now i think back n a week before that i had been on lates. i wd never hv known he was seeing her. he swears blind that was it.

tearing me up. hes cut off all ties. i need the truth

[michelle23]

You wont get the truth here from us Josie. We don't know hun. And I doubt you will get the full truth from him either. You should say to him really calmly "If there is any more to it, we can work through it but I cant live a lie, please tell me everything, I will forgive you but I need to know if anything happened. I still say you should approach the other woman and ask her all the questions you are trying to ask him. That is what I would do. I would want both sides of the story

He needs to think you are not going anywhere before he will tell you.

You could go on Jeremy Kyle and get a lie detector done.

"We should take it slow" and "i have never felt this way before" tells me something did happen. He told you this has been going on for a month? But you have only seen a week worth of messages? Is there any way you can get at his deleted messages for the past month? Could you get someone to call the phone company and pretend to be him?

I know a few people will come in and attack me for that ^^ but I know these doubts in your head wont go away until you are sure you know everything.

[HonestAbe]

Do you really want the "truth"? I am a guy and I have said and done a lot of bad things in relationships and even my marriage. The probably truth is, yes he is sleeping with her. if it hadn't happened yet, which I doubt, it would have happened eventually. I would say 95% chance they already had sex.

[Wakeup]

More conjecture to fuel your paranoia. Josie. Stop coming here and expecting to get answers for your problems from us. Talk to your boyfriend and insist on the answers without you freaking out while asking. If you find out he has done her six times on sunday and twice on monday.. will you leave him then or will you stay anyway? What difference does it matter to you if he ****ed her or he didn't? He has been involved with her in a way that is inappropriate... that much is the truth and that much you know. Now get the rest from him and if it turns out he's been ****ing her ass off then make sure you've enough strength in you to leave him or forgive him.. but you can't stay and not forgive him because that will very likely lead to either him stepping out again or you or stepping out on him in the future. No one wants to be in a relationship of the monogamous kind where each day you are being tested, not trusted or trusting, bitched at or bitched to, treated like shit, punished and not appreciated. So figure it out.

[michelle23]

Do you really want the "truth"? I am a guy and I have said and done a lot of bad things in relationships and even my marriage. The probably truth is, yes he is sleeping with her. if it hadn't happened yet, which I doubt, it would have happened eventually. I would say 95% chance they already had sex.

Does that make you feel like a man? Asshole! Y get married if you cant keep it in your pants little boy