Just a silly story, but hurts a bit

[fragile]

So, because of my profession I move cities every year. This past year I met this guy. We were working at the same place. There was immediate attraction. We flirted and we ended up in bed. We both made things clear: there would be no emotional commitment and we wouldn’t tell anybody. We agreed upon this. We kept meeting and spent some nights together. Slowly, he started opening up, he said that he is completely broken inside because of his ex, that his ex was a girl from the same working environment and that she is the reason he chose to work at the specific city. They had broken up two years ago, she is in another relationship but he can’t get over her. Yet, he was constantly saying how good he feels with me, how comfortable and easy things are when we spend time, and that he feels stronger and getting over the ex. I myself have not recovered from a really really bad previous relationship and that was one reason why I didn’t want to get close to him. Apart from that, I wanted to protect myself, as with the end of my contract everything would end anyway. It happens every year and it hurt every time, so I became colder and more cynic. Well, about the middle of the year, we had a fight. We have had fights before, but after that one, he pulled away. He never talked to me again, he isolated himself a lot, chasing the ex more than before, and –literally- never talked to me again. He wouldn’t even stay in the same room if we were just the two. When my contract ended, I said goodbye to all the people at work, him included. Then, the night before I would leave, I sent him an email, telling him I just needed to say a kind of special goodbye to him and take care. He replied, saying that I left suddenly and that he feels as if his soul would wander restlessly forever. I didn’t reply, I didn’t have anything to say and I thought once I would leave, I could put everything behind and forget, like I have done before, but it’s been two months and I keep thinking about him and wishing for a contact. The whole thing felt as if were both attracted to each other, but each for his reason would not let it happen. We were so identical that we eventually drew us apart. Somehow. Not really in need of advice, since there is nothing I can do, but just wanted to let it out. I know I should stop thinking about him, that the ex is everywhere inside him and that I need to find my emotionless self again. Any comments welcome, however. Thank you so much for reading.

[Valixy]

Sad story, especially because he refused to talk to you at all after the argument you had. That's selfish and immature. Cruel too.

And actions speak louder than words. That dramatic good bye message should mean nothing to you if he didn't make one single gesture to get in contact with you. He obviously is capable of pursuing a woman when he's interested because he's been after his ex for years, but let you get out of his life just like that...He really isn't worth all the feelings you're investing in him.

Please make an effort and move on. You deserve to feel happy with yourself again and find someone who's heart is free for you.

[fragile]

Thank you, valixy. That's exactly what I think, especially that he let me go away like that. And he was quite cruel throughout the whole thing. Actually, all the arguments we had -including the last one, were because of that. He would say something inappropriate, I would get angry, then he would claim I am right but overeacting. And yes, he is very good at pursuing, I've experienced it myself. So I know, it doesn't worth it from any aspect. I need to find myself again. Thanks so much valixy. You saw into my story in a few words!

[Valixy]

A guy who's got some serious emotional issues and doesn't love you, really isn't the man for you and for anyone, as you said.

It also becomes obvious that in spite your particular work conditions, every year in a new place, this kind of relationship that isn't labeled in any way, is not for you. You do develop feelings and want more, so maybe a different kind of relationship, either friendship or a romance with real potential, would be best.