Technically not married, together mostly for 12yrs. 2 kids, 11yo, 3yo. Things have been rocky for years, no cheating, total lack of communication. First got together due to pregnancy. separated for 5yrs. Separate homes but still together. I drove there every night.

Now living together again for 3yrs. Last year, I put it on the floor that we are either getting help or done. I keep pleading with her to talk and tell me her feelings. I write long emails to her trying to work on things, sit her down, etc. She never reciprocates.

She had a rough childhood. Mom married 4x, 1 step dad was verbally abusing. Therapist has been working with her to cope with PTSD type feeling. I am now told I have bipolar type tendencies and have some anger issues I guess. I do get mad easy. There was one incident about 10yrs ago where we were arguing and she just kept pushing me. I grabbed her aggressively. She agreed that she was purposely trying to push me and I was out of control.

FF to today, I have voiced many times the total lack of intimacy. When we have sex, it is GOOD. We are good together that way and I usually make her orgasm. However, I have told her 1x/mo or whatever is not cutting it. There is also a total lack of touch, feel, deep talk, etc. All things that help a marriage survive. She is just disconnected.

Sat her down other day and was told she my mood swings concern her and never knows if I am going to be mad. I personally feel I am not that bad and she is hypersensitive but....

She straight said, it is over or "she can't handle any more", etc. This is one week after a good family vacation. We kissed one time durring vaca that I initiated. Recently spoke of plans for the future. She is also allowing me to touch her while we sleeping in the same bed. To my knowledge, she is doing nothing to find a place to live, etc.

I am just very confused as to what I should do. I told her I would like to push all my chips in and resolve my medical issues with meds and such if needed. She said she did not want me to put all my chips in. I tried to hug her after our big talk and though she allowed the hug, she did not reciprocate.

I decided to sneak a red rose in to her place a business last night for her to find this morning. I am sure she will say nothing of it....

So, does this sound like a girl that is hurting and we need more help, or someone that has checked out and I did not get the memo? I am just confused by the mixed signals. Why would be do a family vaca 1 week before she says "we all done"? Nothing happened during vaca or in that week.