Have I been supportive enough?

[Flintlockwood]

I've been seeing this lady who I met online for about three months. I have met her kids (1 yr old and 5 yr old) on several occasions and we get on really well. So I'm assuming she likes me. To begin with the relationship was very casual and we both agreed we could date other people. However, the relationship turned intimate after about a month. The casual relationship was bothering me and I wanted to go exclusive last weekend so we spoke about this and she agreed that she wouldn't see anyone else (she had apparently only been out with one other guy). Everything at that point was great. Although for some reason I was still checking out the dating site in which we had met.

However, last Saturday she contacted me to tell me she had carried out a pregnancy test and that it was positive but not to worry because she would sort it out. The hospital said nothing was showing on the scan and that it might be an ectopic pregnancy. So she had to visit the hospital three times last week including cutting short a short break and travelling home several hours to have a further scan. On Friday she was told that she would have to wait until Tuesday to have an abortion pill and then return again next Friday to have a second and actually stay in the hospital over night to be monitored.

The background to all this is that she had just started her summer holiday with her kids and is in the middle of moving into a new house which needs a lot of work. The father now has the children for two weeks and she was planning to sort the new house out and enjoy some time to herself as the father hardly ever sees the children.

Our relationship has been quite relaxed and I've tried to give her some space so I've been trying to play things cool (maybe too cool). I offered to visit the hospital with her last week but she said not to worry. The last time we spoke on Friday after the scan and her long journey she said that she just wanted to go to bed and that she just wanted to get it over with now. I said I had been thinking of her and she said that made her feel better. I said I'd treat her to a nice meal sometime to cheer her up.

So, have I been giving her enough support? She has been very cold with me since last week. She has been slow to return texts etc. I've been to a music festival this weekend as I thought she was busy anyway. She asked when I was coming back. I sent a text saying I was thinking about her this evening but I've had no reply.

Sorry for the length of all this! I was just trying to be as detailed as possible. Any advice most welcome.

[michelle23]

She may be depressed after an abortion. Dont expect too much from her. I would imagine its unlikely to work out. Wait and see what happens but if u start getting mixrd signals-walk away