cheap...

[newdax]

guys, how can i tell a nice guy that he is doing something i am allergic to and feel very ashamed of, without hurting his ego?

I am dating this dude for some time, in the beginnings i would try not to notice, but now it's just too much:
- he LOVES when others pay the bills

He does invite me out on dates and would pay but overall i invited him out more than he did. I would cook proper steaks and several entries meals, while he would prepare easy spaghettis with tomatoes.

Yet when we go out with friends, someone would order some food and he would eat the whole plate (even if it's not his plate!!). Or we (a group of friends) would each take turns in paying a round of drinks, and he would always disappear when it's his turn to pay.

He is in his 40s, has a very good job, loves dressing well... so i don't get this cheap money behavior.

Any idea how to tell him in a "nice way" he either has to change this shameful behavior or we're done?

[michelle23]

I would break up with him. This reminds me of my bfs mothers bf. Uh I cant stand him. He is a leech and really pisses me off. Hes greedy, lazy and a taker. I also suspect that he is a cheat and untrustworthy. I really don't like him.

He will call to our house with her, drink tea, eat all our food and go into the sitting room, watch our telly and ignore us. He wont sit in the kitchen with us and have a chat with everyone. he makes no effort and he is very greedy when it comes to food. Obviously I have no problem making anyone tea and they can eat whatever they want in my house but he just annoys me. We got a takeaway once and he was eating the food off our plates and at a wedding he took all the soup roles and refused to share. When we went bowling he let her pay for everything including petrol. He will drive her car everywhere they go to save money on his petrol and never give her a penny. He lets her pay for dinner every week and doesn't even offer to pay half. He bought her a xmas present 2 years ago and said that is her bday present too and then this year he got her nothing for her bday or xmas coz "money is tight". I mean he could have at least gotten her a box of chocolates for 5 quid or stole a rose from someones garden. He is such a tight ass and cheap. He pisses me off big time. I think he just uses her for her sports channels, a few free meals a week and sex. (hes also too cheap to get his own sport channels)

Anyway if your guy is anything like him-just run away

[Exeter19]

he dresses so well and other things because he saves when out with others, that is why cheap works for him, he saves some money there to spend later on himself. if it bothers you so much why are you scared to speak up for yourself, he is being rude too, so meet his rude back if it bothers you that much. argue on it and find resolution

[Ginger2013]

Cheap is selfish. My bf was like that. He wouldn't offer a dime for groceries, but then went out and bought $100 on music equipment while I was struggling to pay my own bills. I would just bring it up one without sugar-coating it. It's not only cheap and selfish, I'm sure it's embarrassing when he eats all the food and disappears when it's his turn to pay...and I'm sure you're not the only one who notices. And think of it this way, you continue to pay so you're teaching him it's okay for him to be that way, not saying it's your fault at all, but if you keep letting him get away with it, he'll keep doing it.

[Tug]

If he wants to stiff his friends with the bill they wont be his friends for long. Sounds like he's not the right guy for you, you can tell him about how you feel but chances are he's not going to change

[4 ratties]

Cheap with money is one thing. But he just doesn't sound like a good Person it's almost like stealing to make others think your going to help pay and U don't and just keep drinking and eating something u won't pay for. I wouldn't be interested in a guy like this

[anonymous_a]

There isn't really any way of making it sound good. Plus, sugar coating it will only make things worse. Unless you are blunt and very serious, he won't change. If you sugar coat it, he won't take you serious and he'll just tell you what you want to hear.