Confused and need help.

[bobbyn1222]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. As with any situation, it has it's good moments and it's bad. It was a couple of years ago that I started talking to a girl at work. She was the most beautiful, fun, warm, and caring person I ever met and it didn't take more then 5 minutes to figure all of that out. I was attracted to her right away, but i'm not a cheater, so I kept it at that. As time went on, her and I began to talk more and more both in and out of work. I was very upfront with my girlfriend about the fact that I became friends with a girl I work with, and she never really seemed to mind. As more time went on, we would talk all the time just about our lives, and help each other through personal problems, and laugh like we've never laughed before. Besides my girlfriend, this other girl became my best friend. I didn't realize it at first, but as time went on, I fell in love with her. I know that most people are going to call me an ass or a jerk for falling for another girl, but I really didn't know it was happening until it was too late. But even after that, I never tried for anything more, I couldn't do that to my girlfriend since I still loved her. The situation stayed the same for a couple of months. The past 3-4 months, I've made some life decisions (career mostly) that my girlfriend doesn't agree with. It really has strained everything between her and I, we are in our late 20's and she is ready to settle down and I'm not quite there yet. We have tried really hard to work through it, but it has been very tough. Things have seemingly gotten better lately, but the strain is still there. The entire time I have been making these decisions and working through the details, this other girl has been there encouraging me. I have always wondered what it would be like to be with her and considering all we have talked about and shared together, I have no doubt she would be perfect for me. As I have my foot out the door at our work last friday, she tells me that she can't hold it in anymore and that she loves me and wants to be with me. The conversation basically ended with her telling me that she never wants to be the reason I would break up with my girlfriend but she can't sit around and wait for me to realize that I'm not being treated like I deserve and she knows I deserve the best. It has been eating away at me. I don't know what to do. Do I break up with my girlfriend of 3 years to try and hope that I can make something work between this girl and I? Do I stay with my girlfriend and continue to hope that our issues will become resolved and end my friendship with this other girl? What would you do?

[smackie9]

You are with the wrong person, that is why you started this emotional affair with this girl, you just never realized it. What gave me that clue was that you are still not ready to settle down. You will never be ready if you stay with her. You strayed from your relationship because it truly doesn't fulfill you....you found someone that was willing to listen to you, showed compassion towards you, and gave her attention to you unconditionally. If it feels right I say go for it.