Im not glad with my perception of sex

[ippn1]

So here's something that bothers me - i am wondering if thats normal...
I'm giving sex too much meaning/credit in correlation with emotions/love. I have never been kind of guy who would rather like to smash 10 chicks and have meaningless sex over sex with one girl you love - have feelings for. I begin to notice this again after my last relationship with a girl who was rebounding (she left my after few weeks because she tried to get back with her ex of 4 years and said she didn't love me/has right feelings for me). Since we haven't had sex during that time (didn't make a move even tho she made few hits that she is ready after one week - 3rd date) I blame myself for not being more aggressive and somehow thought it was my fault - I thought that was the main reason she didn't fall for me and wanted her ex back. I discussed that topic with several people and they mostly said sex would not change the outcome since she was not over him. I don't know why I view sex as something linked with love rather then just a physical act. Maybe because I'm pretty inexperienced at 25. Someone told me, the more sex I', gonna have with different women, the more I'll look at it as just a physical act.

Yours view/opinions on that topic???

[horndog]

Sex can just be a physical act, or it can be based in love. It just depends on the partner or circumstances. A one night stand is a physical act and more recreational. Sex in a loving relationship should be more based upon love. There is no right or wrong, its just how you feel about you partner.

[anonymous_a]

It all depends on you. If you correlate sex with love, then great! You can't force yourself in feeling a certain way about it. Maybe you just need a few solid relationships first, then after you get a bit more experience, you might feel differently about it.

[michelle23]

I think your more "normal" than people who see sex as just sex. I would not date someone who was the type to randomly bang strangers. All humans crave love and sex is always better if its with someone you love and trust. Dont change who you are just to fit some BS stereotype.

and your friends are right. Even if you slept with her-she still would have ran back to her ex.

[Going_Home]

I think your approach is great... Sex and love are most surely connected in a relationship. It's sometimes simply the icing on the cake after a perfectly romantic day or it can be a way to show closeness or a need for closeness. Obviously 2 people in a relationship can have different views to it but finding the balance is always the key. Of course it's a physical act but what goes on in your head is immensely important - both you and your partner are giving enormous trust and respect to each other at that moment and it's something to be cherished.

[LifeInflux]

I'm pretty much the same as you OP, I see sex as being linked to love. I've dated a lot of women, fooled around quite a bit... but intercourse... at least in its traditional sense, was only done with the women I loved.

Sometimes I felt like you.... like I could have been more aggressive and had sex with a lot more women than I had..... but the honest truth is, if I were to do that, I wouldn't be me. Its okay for love and sex to mean something to you.... sometimes it helps define us from other guys who detach themselves from love and just have sex with anyone willing. To some people that may seem like more fun, but for me, its quite a bit more fulfilling to love someone while having sex with them and know they love me back.


You can change this part of yourself OP, if you want.... just like I *could* change the person I am, if I want.... but, I actually like who I am.