Girlfriend broke up with me to “fix” and find herself” and be single in college

[needhelpinlife]

I met my girlfriend (let’s call here Sara) in high school. I was a junior and she was sophomore. Before meeting her, I lived a very sheltered life. I didn’t go out, nor have a large group of friends. I didn’t go to parties or drink. Sara was my first real relationship and my first for a lot of things. She is literally the only person I would talk to. I can honestly say that she loved me and I loved her. But she had emotional issues. They stemmed from her random anxiety from driving, anxiety and fear from getting in trouble with her parents and she said the relationship put a lot of stress of her.
Fast forward about 15 months and things seemed to be going well for us for the past year and half. But then, things started to go downhill this summer. This summer we got into a car accident (her fault) and she constantly blamed herself for almost killing me, even though I came out fine. She was going to college soon at our local university while I attended out community college. We already had plans and she promised we would stay together, and would work out a schedule to make it work.
But then she tells me out of the blue, she can’t be in a serious relationship right now. She tells me, “She doesn’t even care about herself, so she can’t care about someone else.” So right then and there she basically broke up with me, but promised to be friends with me. She tells me not to wait for her and to see other people. But I haven’t even thought or would ever think of that. A week later, I ask to tell her how, I feel and she tells me, “She can’t handle it” but still gives me the opportunity to call her and tell her how I feel. During the phone conversation I tell her how I feel.
Ever since the break up I feel miserable. I get so upset and sad that I can’t eat or sleep. It literally takes hunger pains to set in, so I can eat a pop tart as a meal for the entire day. I have never been so upset in my life. The sadness and grief feels like it is coming from my heart and soul. At work, I get so randomly emotional and sad, I have to take a breather. My eyes have been so red from crying at work that, my bosses started to think I was smoking weed on the job, until I confess they were tears.
She was the only person I talked to. Such a huge part of my life for the past 1.5 years is gone. I now fear isolation and that, I will no longer talk to anyone. Every day, I cry myself to sleep at 2am, only to get up at 5am for work. I don’t understand how she could be okay with this? After, all the hard work, effort, time, money, blood, sweat, and tears, I ask myself why now?
Soon after, my confession with her she tells me, that I am bleeding her dry and she needs some space. It has officially been 6 days since our last contact. She moves into college tomorrow on my birthday. (I’m sorry if my grammar and spelling are off after this, but I’m really emotional typing this) She deleted pictures of us off her instagram and have made no attempts to contact me. I will now be spending my birthday all alone.
As a sit here and cry, I find several reasons why I am upset. First, I fear isolation and being alone. I truly think I won’t find someone else, since I have such a hard time going out, and making friends. Next, the thought of her with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. To the point where I can’t eat for several hours and if I did just eat, I throw it right back up. Then, I upset because such a huge part of my life is just gone.
I need help and I’m serious….. Day by day, I feel myself slipping. The sad part is I know I’m not mentally strong enough for this. One day I will snap……… and that will be a sad day for all of us.

[basilandthyme]

I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in. However, I doubt any girl could sustain being your one and only social outlet/friend/support/etc. You've placed far too much on her and she simply can't do it anymore. You talk about her having 'emotional issues' but I see your issues as being so much more significant in this than hers.

You ask how she could be OK with you being so upset. Thing is, she was carrying so much burden in supporting you that she lost herself. The relationship was very unhealthy for her and she has to start putting herself first and find a relationship which is more balanced.

It's time to get yourself into counselling. Firstly to address your grief over losing this girl. And then with the counsellor, work towards learning how to make friends and find activities outside of a girlfriend. Let the counsellor give you the mental strength you require - and then learn to be your own emotional support. And get help before the "sad day for all of us" (whatever that means) arrives.

[Cerby]

Heartbreak sucks, but it has happened to us all. Avoid contact, find a hobby, and work on moving forward. I was dumped by a girl I was supposed to go to prom with in grade 12, and it took me a year to get over it as it was my first real "love". I know how you feel, but it gets better, I promise.

[dickriculous]

First of all listen to the above 2 replies, especially basil she is on the money

Additionally, you have got to learn to get out there and enjoy life bro. I'm telling you, there is no such thing as a successful relationship where both partners don't have a life of their own aside from just each other. You have absolutely no chance if you don't have anything else going on in your life except her. She realized this before you did, that's probably a part of what she meant when she said "I need to find myself". I usually call bullshit on that, it usually just means "sorry but your cock ain't doin it for me no more I need someone else" but in this case I think it may actually be legit. She realized that what you and she had was not true love, it was two broken people being mutual crutches for each other. She woke up and realized that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life in that trap, and now it's time for you to do the same. A man needs a purpose, something that drives him to wake up in the morning and make it a day worth living (I mean something other than a vagina, those are nice but they're not supposed to be your entire life )

What are you passionate about in life? There's a lot more out there than just chicks. Get out there and ENJOY it. Life is full of wonders and the more of them you explore and the more you fulfill your passions, the less you find the need for this kind of obsessive attachment to anyone or anything. This is how YOU take control of your life. Get out there and live it up and you will find that the women will be the ones clinging desperately to YOU.

[4 ratties]

Didn't anybody ever tell you, don't put all your eggs in one basket?