Introducing BF to parents??

[Fatty]

Hi everyone!

I know it's not a big problem... But to me it is. I just really want honest opinions.

A little intro about myself: 23 years old and I grew in a traditional Asian family (extremely tradition in regards to relationships).

So what's my problem? My parents does not approve of this guy I am seeing (for 2 years). They recently met him and think that he's just my "friend" and made it extremely clear that they don't want me going out with him. They think he's extremely awkward. But we have plans to get married in the future.

First off, I know as a 23 year old adult, I have to make and CAN make my own decisions. But growing up in an extremely protective and traditional Asian family, I am kind of "taught" how to listen and obey to the older generations. When talking to parents, it is impossible to say no.

Second, I respect my parents a lot, and do not want to hurt them. And as the oldest child, I have the burden to make all the right decisions and set an extremely good example. I call it, the curse of the oldest child.

Third, the word "love" is very foreign in Asian cultures. So telling my parents that I love my boyfriend, is something that they don't understand.

Fourth, my mom is very confusing. One day she will tell me how she doesn't mind me having a boyfriend and can bring him home and introduce if I have one. Another day she will say she doesn't approve.

I really hate the fact that I have to go behind my parents' back and lie to them. I feel that they have no right to tell me who I can be with and they cannot control my feelings towards anyone. But I have problems making a good argument with my mom. Since she will PROBABLY bring up random scenarios and problems. I also hate the fact that I know that there will be a fight between me and my parents. I really want to tell them, but it seems like it's hard to make them accept...

Any opinions will be appreciated.

[Boisdevie]

You have two options.
1. Do what you want with YOUR life or
2. Let your parents dictate how you live your life.

I'd go with option 1 and if your old fashioned parents don't like it then tough titty. Unless we push the boundaries how do you expect to change things? - was slavery ended in the USA without a struggle? Did women get the vote without a struggle?

[ela]

I think you should fight them if necessary. It's your life and not theirs. You are going to date this guy, not them. Unless he is a drug addict or something they have no right to interfere.

If they interfere with your life so much, try your best to become financially independent.

[surfhb2]

Yeah.....it will be hard at first but once you are Married and have kids, things will change.

Also keep in mind that what you were taught is wrong. I know that's hard to understand but your cultural teachings are substandard in the modern world

[4 ratties]

They don't like him because he's "awkward?" That's just weird. Id understand if he had 5 kids or has been to prison but i don't understand why they are so quick to judge because he's "awkward" he's probably really uncomfortable around them because they are so snobby. I would tell them the truth about him and if they don't "love" you after that, then thts just wrong. I could never understand that culture.