Deeply Confuse

[AoiYokai]

I'm 23 and in a relation for about 6 years +. but he decide to go other country to study and it might take 7 years.
My dream is to get marry at the age of 25 because of him but now he going away. He did says he will take care of me like sending me money if he got a job there or wait him 7 years. At the same time, he also says the I will forget him soon after he leave. It make me feel like he want me to forget him.
The problem is, I don't want him to leave me yet he can't stay. I want to wait for him but I worry that either 1 of us will change and I don't wish to get marry at old age, like 30++ (sorry if I offend some of you). I feel so confuse right now. I don't know what to do. I got no friends to talk to and I can't talk to my parents about this matter. I cry every night because of this. I don't want our relation to change.
I don't know why I writing thing too. I don't if I want some one to tell me what should I do or I just want to say out my problem.

[basilandthyme]

Seven years to study in another country? I'm not sure I believe it. I'm asking you some questions to try and fill in the gaps.

How old is he?
What country are you in
What country does he want to go to?
What qualification is he seeking?
Does it truly take 7 years to study this full time?
Is the overseas qualification recognised where you live?
Can he get the same qualifications locally?
Why does he need to send you money?
Why do you have no friends?
Why can't you talk to your parents?
After six years together, why aren't you already engaged?
Why not go with him?

[AoiYokai]

He is 24. He going to Japan and that's his dream.
He told me that his master course will take 7 years. (I did ask him, really need 7 years? he says yes)
He says he will send me money as our relations is still going on and he will continue take care of me.
For over 6 years, I only have him. No other friends that I can talk to.
I never talk to my parents about these problem. Even if I talk to them, they will say you can live by yourself.
He didn't propose to me, how am I engage?
I do wish to go with him but I'm not from a rich family. I can't afford the cost living there.

[TablesandChairs]

There is no Masters course on earth that takes 7 years. He's lying.

[AoiYokai]

2 years for japan class.
4 1/2 years for master.

lying or not, I just feel that I don't want him to leave me. If he leave, I will be alone.
I don't have friend. Just him. I tried to stand strong and try to forget him, I always end up crying.

[TablesandChairs]

Masters courses in Japan usually take 2 years max. Same around the world - the standard is 1 1/2 to 2 years.

People in committed relationships don't just up and leave; they make arrangements. They compromise. They do whatever they can to have their partner with them. This guy isn't committed and you'd be a fool to wait. Life didn't begin or end with him - you've just become very dependent.

[AoiYokai]

I know I am a fool now but it is hard to just let him go.
for 6 years, everything that I do, he is there for me.
After graduate from high school, we always be together even in university.
out of sudden I have to face they world myself. I don't have the courage.

[smackie9]

Sorry but you know he just bailed on you. The reality is, that it's over. But don't despair....he is not the only guy on this planet that will make you happy. You are emotionally dependent on him, but you will adjust, you will start living a new life. Sounds scary but it can be very rewarding and satisfying. You can't expect to not feel sad over night. This will take a few moths or so. As tough as it is, you will get through this. You need to get some friends together, start going out, meeting new people, go out dancing, and have fun. In time you will realize all the new things you have been missing out on because you were too dependent on your relationship to give you a life. So keep standing strong, and discover your own independence.

[4 ratties]

Sounds like he's pulling away from you

[AoiYokai]

I talked to my mom yesterday and she also reply the same answer. Forget him and move on.
Some part of me want to do that. I want to stand strong and start independent. or maybe find a new love. Struggle with him will not lead to happiness.
But another part of me pulling me down. Telling me don't give up on this relation because I spend 6 years on it.

Healing time is the problem I hate the most. I feel sad every time I think back the memory.
What if I forget him, and I can't fall in love again~?
There is a lot "what if" if I let him go. I just scare of the future.

[michelle23]

you have no choice but to let him go. hes leaving whether you like it or not and he has not asked you to go with him. it is over. you need to accept that. it just takes time. you will get over him. you are way too dependent on him. you need friends, hobbies, a job, study BEFORE you find a new love. set some goals and stick to them. aim to be single for a year and learn to have a life and to be happy on your own. then you can meet a new man

hes already gone. 7years istoo long to wait for him. if he was committed to you, he wouldnt be going anywhere without you.

[smackie9]

I talked to my mom yesterday and she also reply the same answer. Forget him and move on.
Some part of me want to do that. I want to stand strong and start independent. or maybe find a new love. Struggle with him will not lead to happiness.
But another part of me pulling me down. Telling me don't give up on this relation because I spend 6 years on it.

Healing time is the problem I hate the most. I feel sad every time I think back the memory.
What if I forget him, and I can't fall in love again~?
There is a lot "what if" if I let him go. I just scare of the future.

It's normal to think things are hopeless and the future is empty, but we all know those things are not true.....we as a species have survived worse conditions. There might more that one love in your future. Keep positive and you will get there.

[AoiYokai]

6 years od relation ended yesterday.
It feel so painful. I can't stop crying.
I feel like a lost soul now... blank.

[smackie9]

So sorry for your pain it will sting for awhile but in a week or two you will feel much better. I hope you have lots of support from your family and friends.