No more biscuits in the tin. (UNbearable)

[Haydn]

Hello all, i try to explain


I don`t want to bore everyone with al the details,
I have suffered so much abuse, verbal and physical
She was jealous of everything and everyone.
She started to wear the same clothes as me.
We could not watch a movie with her becoming jealous
She wanted to argue all the time about nothing.
Everything i did made it worse
Evertime i said i love her it was treated with suspicion
She then just cut of all contact and its been 3 weeks and all i have heard from her are nasty texts.
The big question is for you all, is why am i so in love with this person?


I was with a woman (NO name!) 3 years. I was happy. I wanted to do whatever i could for her. At the start she was so open and really nice. After 8 months she didn`t want me to talk to any of my friends. She then went through my Facebook and said that i was sleeping with all the `women` friends i had. I told her she was being silly and paranoid (But i didn`t use that word!) She made me delete some of them and i did. When they asked me why they had been deleted i told them and they were very sad for me and told me leave her. I knew it was wrong but for some reason i could not. I put her first and felt that i wasn`t doing enough to prove myself to her. She then sent messages on FB to some of the woman friends i have, she told them that she knew i was sleeping with them. These were old friends of mine who i went to school and university with! (Most have families!) I apologised to all of them and told her that it was enough. She said because i said it over that she must be right about me sleeping with these women! I tried to sit down with her and tell her that the only person i wanted was her. But everything i said just made it more wrong. She told me me she didn`t trust me and left. But every 2 days she would send me a horrible sms, telling me i was weak and i had to do what she wanted if i wanted to be with her. Put her first with everything, including before my daughter. I have no idea why i feel so so let down. I thought i did everything right. I am so careful in relationship after my past. What signals did i send to her that made her feel so insecure and paranoid. I used to send her flowers at work. And she always asked why?? I said i didn`t need a reason. 2 weeks ago i had to go home to the UK because my Father is dying. I sent her a sms telling her because she met my Father once. She replied saying. `I don’t care and you have only gone home to sleep with your friends on Facebook`. Did i miss something? Did i get this so wrong? Because at my age it`s normal, i am not a teenager! I feel really hurt and stupid but part of me wants to show her she was wrong to leave me. Have a nice night and thanks for listening. Take care. Haydn

PS there is so much more..........
Yes i miss her everyday.

[AdminOnline]

Hi Haydn and welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion! Hope you enjoy your stay here.

[pcmaster]

You seem very tired mate. Thats why all this drama in your writing. How about just write that you been together with lovely girl who went crazy paranoid and damaged people around her. Now you feel sad cause you cant control who you love. And your father dont care cause je jave his own problems.

Its a good time to try new things and take roads that traveled less. Dont cry like a little blch when you feel the pain.

[HeartIsAching]

You're not in love with her, you're dependent on her for your emotional needs... which is what she deliberately did to you by isolating you from your friends and ultimately family.

She acts that way because she's horribly insecure, and because it's what she knows. Probably grew up with her mother or father acting that way towards their significant other, and believes it's "how you show love". Trust me, nothing you ever do or say will convince her. She needs to get help for her own sake before anything ever gets better... you're far better off without her. Just let the hurt heal.

Try to remember the warning signs, and when you get into another relationship, walk away a the first sign... your life will be much happier for it.

[Haydn]

Thank you for all your replies.

[Haydn]

Why are my emotional need so linked to her? I have tried so hard to move forward. When it all seems ok, I get a picture in my head of her and it all comes crashing down, i hate feeling so useless. Putting a smile for others. I have not been able to tell anyone how i really feel and i am slowly dying inside.

I would love to hate her, be angry but i cannot.
There must be something to ease this awful pain.

You're not in love with her, you're dependent on her for your emotional needs... which is what she deliberately did to you by isolating you from your friends and ultimately family.

She acts that way because she's horribly insecure, and because it's what she knows. Probably grew up with her mother or father acting that way towards their significant other, and believes it's "how you show love". Trust me, nothing you ever do or say will convince her. She needs to get help for her own sake before anything ever gets better... you're far better off without her. Just let the hurt heal.

Try to remember the warning signs, and when you get into another relationship, walk away a the first sign... your life will be much happier for it.

[pcmaster]

If you want to get over and be able do hate her you should do excersise. Write on a list all her bad qualities. Do this everyday. Everything that most people wont like. It will be short list but eventually get longer and thats good.