My sister got caught cheating and she wants to gain back his trust

[SterlingJessie]

How can my sister gain back her bf's trust? She cheated 7 months ago and he pretty much caught her with the other guy.
Now her bf is being slightly distant, called her a slut a couple of times and sometimes has a hard time getting over what he walked into that day. But she is remorseful. Can she ever gain back his trust?

I heard that at times cheating can be worked out but I'm not sure about her situation. Or can it still be worked out? Thing is he seemed more hurt and forgiving at first but now I think anger is overtaking him. She tells me that many times, he doesn't hold her hand when they're walking together anymore or at times goes out with his friends drinking.

I don't know what else to advise. I think she should leave him but she wants to work it out.

[Idainaru]

She cant! He stayed with her after that because he had mixed emotions, anger, love, revenge...who knows...But now, after a while, he cooled off...and he probably doesnt love her anymore.

[SterlingJessie]

She cant! He stayed with her after that because he had mixed emotions, anger, love, revenge...who knows...But now, after a while, he cooled off...and he probably doesnt love her anymore.

Then why doesn't he break up? I told him not so long ago that he had that option and he just said he's trying to get pass it but can't.

If he doesn't love her anymore, nor even likes her why won't he let her go?

[HeartIsAching]

She should break up with him. It'll save time - one way or the other, they will break up. Why waste 10 or 20 years of eligibility for a relationship she ruined?

Not breaking up with her showed your sister that all she has to do it say the right words and she can get away with it, which gives her license to do it whenever she 'really wants to'. Frankly, if she really loved her boyfriend, she wouldn't have done it.

Congrats to your sister - she's discovered what cheating brings. Hopefully she'll learn something from it and not do it again.

[Idainaru]

There are several reasons why he doesnt want to break up:

- he might wants to revenge, he is waiting to serve it COLD
- he might already torture her with all that, and have someone else
- he might try to pass it, but he cant...and now he doesnt care...he is awaiting for something to happen with someone else...and then he will dump your sister
- he might wants to see your sister change, and wants her to put a lot of effort to win him back

...

All in one, your sister made a very bad thing, and now she is suffering. She earned that...there is no easy way out. She can break with him and be titled as a bitch who cheating and then dumped, she can try to win him back and be hurt at the end, or she can try hard and win him back at the end and realize that hurting your partner is the worst thing you can do in RL. It all depends what kinda person is your sister and that guy...I dont know them so i cant know.

[SterlingJessie]

Congrats to your sister - she's discovered what cheating brings. Hopefully she'll learn something from it and not do it again.

Yes, when we spoke recently she has expressed total remorse about what she did is how she's trying hard to be the best gf but I think her bf won't totally recover. I guess it must have taken him strength to take her back in the first place; not many men do that.

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah... but is she sorry she did it, or sorry she got caught?

[smackie9]

If he is still lashing out at her, even after she has been remorseful, the relationship is over. The only reason he is still talking to her is to keep punishing her for what she has done.

[SterlingJessie]

Yeah... but is she sorry she did it, or sorry she got caught?

She does seems truly sorry. She told me about how he already has her passwords for her facebook, yahoo and hotmail accounts and doesn't mind if he checks them so yes she's trying to do anything to make it up to him.

[SterlingJessie]

If he is still lashing out at her, even after she has been remorseful, the relationship is over. The only reason he is still talking to her is to keep punishing her for what she has done.

Well from what she told me, he's been lashing out like that for about 2 months now. He was forgiving and hurt at first but wasn't calling her a slut. So his change is recently. I guess he must have been bottling it all up until he couldn't hide it anymore and blew up because that's what he's doing that. He is acting like he doesn't even like her; I don't blame him but that was a sudden change.

[HeartIsAching]

That's interesting. I'd lay money that he's cheating on her now.

[SterlingJessie]

That's interesting. I'd lay money that he's cheating on her now.

I really don't blame him if he does in the end. I care about my sister but she really destroyed that poor guy. I've been introduced to him many times and I would describe him as a sweetheart that used to be very affectionate and giving towards her; not anymore now.

[smackie9]

My brother was a cheater, and well I just minded my own business......let him deal with the mess on his own.

[Starnique]

My brother was a cheater, and well I just minded my own business......let him deal with the mess on his own.

This. So was my brother, still is. I remember the girls would try to get on my good side and they would run into each other and have a few words and I would be like, look, I'm mutual and I'm not getting involved in this. All I can tell you chics is to leave him. Has nothing to do with me.

[smackie9]

My brother finally woke up after that and realized he needed to make a lot of changes in his life and he did.