Can a relationship work out if only one person wants kids?

[BlueMoonSal]

I've always had an issue with my then bf J (now ex bf but we've talk about getting back) and it's regarding kids. Usually it's mainly heard about how the woman always wants it while the man doesn't but in my case it's the opposite.

From the beginning when he met me (I was 19 then and he was 21), I was clear with him on not ever wanting kids and he answered with an ''It's ok if you don't want them, then I don't either''. It was basically whatever I decided but as the time went by, he said he did want kids in the future, how he always wanted a child and how one day it'll kick in for me. I remembered I told him once how I suddenly wanted kids but it was only just to make him feel better.

I'm now 26 years old (will be 27 on April) and it hasn't kick in; my biological clock will never tick. I still have no desire for kids. I would be happy with just a childless marriage in the future.

[BlueMoonSal]

This is the only issue and it's a hard one if we do end up getting back together. He described me as almost perfect (never slept around nor smoke, is career oriented, not jealous, etc) but bearing a child is what I won't do.

I always knew about my disinterest towards having kids since I was 13.

[Wakeup]

Why would you get back with him? You are not compatible, you don't want kids and he does. Time to move on and out of one another's lives for good so that both of you can find someone who thinks the same way as you do.

[BlueMoonSal]

I know and to be honest, there has always been some things we're not compatible in such as experience level (I was a beginner in relationships and sex while he had some experience and at times it would annoyed me being referred to a goody two shoes; before I met him I wanted a guy like me but those aren't found so I gave up and focus on other qualities), the kids issues, being career oriented while he never care about going to college but has a stable job, etc.

I know how they say opposites attract but I have a feeling there are some exceptional cases in where it's too much and it might not be able to be worked out.

[BlueMoonSal]

If I were to get into another relationship, I think this time I'll go for ''Birds of the same flock'' saying instead; a guy that I have lots of similarities with; the male counterpart of me.

I find myself that I could work out most things if we're so different but the kids issues is the hardest one.

[Rowen]

To be honest, I can kind of relate. :S Dave doesn't want kids, and I've always sort of thought about being a father someday. But to me, I feel like our relationship could work because he has two nieces, so it's kind of similar to having them (in a strange way) on top of being a teacher. I never told him, though, because it's something small I could live without.

However, in terms of every relationship, I would say that it depends on how much you want to be a parent. If you've thought about it a few times and was torn about the idea like me, not having kids would be a small price to pay. At the same time, if he's repeatedly bringing up the subject like what you're saying, that's going to cause a rift for sure...one that could possibly make one partner resent the other in the future with whatever the couple decides to do.

Therefore, I think in your case, it would be best to find someone else with your similar interest in wanting a lasting love without offspring. If you get back together, I'm not sure that it wouldn't work very well with the way both of you have firm stances on the subject. If, by chance, one of you should change your mind in the future, you can always try again then. But for now? I think separate would be best.
I hope you find someone who treats you well soon, Blue.

[Raden]

I can tell you from real life experience the answer is no it wont work.

Its one of the main reasons my marriage fell apart. We both agreed in our
early 20's that we did not want kids. But in the latter years she started pushing
for kids and hoped my clock would kick in as well. It didn't and I got so scared
of her "accidentally" forgetting to take her birth control pills that I went down to the
clinic to get neutered. After we split.. all I got from her for months was texts about how
much she hates me for not giving her children.

If you want to test the guy, put an IUD in and tell him you got your tubes
tied. See how bad he wants you after that. See if he still sees you as
'the perfect girl"

[Starnique]

No it's not going to work. He'll resent you for not having a kid and you'll do the same if he keeps trying to persuade you to have one. This is a big issue and you really need to think hard about this.

[Agnus]

I hate children ever since my childhood.

[Starnique]

Its all good. I'm sure they hate you too.

[smackie9]

I have been guilty of delaying the inevitable when my ex was bugging me that we should have at least one child. I remember the conversation as plain as day. I lied to him that I would consider it just to shut him up......but I was 22 and stupid. Stop lying to him and to yourself....you are 26 years old, you should know better that you can't keep him hoping any longer.