What is up with her?

**staticsnake** · 03-10-13, 04:18 AM

Sunday night my girlfriend and I split up. I said something about her in front of her younger brother that I shouldn't have.. She was upset and said I backstabbed her. I tried talking to her Monday but she wanted nothing to do with it. Yesterday i didn't call or text her at all. She called me at ten to tell a story about her work than she called at two in the morning but it was sleeping. She texted and said i won't call you again. I woke up at five and said well I was sleeping sorry.

I was going to call back today around noon, but she texted me and said what is your problem? I said nothing why? And then she got all pissy saying that she wants her stuff back.

I don't get it why was she calling to tell a story and calling at two in the morning to talk? Then what did she mean by asking me what my problem is today?

Is she missing me? Upset i haven't been contacting her?

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 03-10-13, 04:38 AM

Keep doing what you've been doing. Tell her to come get her things and do not call or text you anymore unless she wants to get back together. Do not beg, plead, or cater to her in any way. She will probably come back, as she's already been contacting you, but if you chase her it will do you no good. Be firm with her, dating or no contact with you at all.

**mollymari** · 03-10-13, 05:16 AM

Well what did you say? Was it terribly mean and over the top or somewhat milder? It sounds like she's just really hurt and is mixed up with how best to deal with actions taken. It could be she just needs you to express remorse over hurtful words shared in front of her brother. If it is a special connection you two share, things will work out. Could be she doesn't want to leave you at all; just needs to know that you know you pushed the envelope and are truly sorry. That being said however, don't allow head games to reign this approach. She is missing you, that's why she called. Asking what your 'problem' was today could be her way of expressing the lack of merit your earlier comment held, at least, in her mind. If this lady means allot to you, you'll find a way to make things right, and by 'you' I mean, the two of you.

**staticsnake** · 03-10-13, 05:36 AM

I mentioned something about her doing hard drugs once, in front of her younger brother and she said i backstabbed her

**staticsnake** · 03-10-13, 07:57 AM

Anyone else

**Starnique** · 03-10-13, 08:55 AM

Well yeah, I would be pissed off too if I was her. You don't run your mouth about personal information or her business. I'm sure that it did slip out but at the end of the day that doesn't change the fact. I guess whats done in darkness does come to light. Even still. You were doing way too much blabbering.

To answer your original question, she probably is getting further pissed off with you. Sometimes females emotions can change. She is mad at you and she wants you to know it but she is still wanting you to reach out to her and maybe put in a little more effort to make things right. I'm sure she misses you despite everything because she wouldn't be acting so bitchy if she didn't. She misses you but is still mad at you for what you did. Btw, I'm not saying her silly behavior is okay. She need to say what she has to say and move on instead of being so catty. But yeah she pissed. Who wouldn't be?

**Boisdevie** · 03-10-13, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Starnique

Well yeah, I would be pissed off too if I was her. You don't run your mouth about personal information or her business.?

Easily happens. I remember an ex-GF once blabbed in front of her mother. Just casually mentioned that I was the guy on the grassy knoll in Dallas back in '63 when JFK got shot. Of course I had to kill the ex-GF but managed to plea bargain to manslaughter due to diminished responsibility.

**smackie9** · 03-10-13, 01:53 PM

She's pissed because she expected you to be some sobbing sap all up set and panicky about losing her, ....and of course you act like it's not real big deal which is driving her insane. The young ones are nothing but drama queens geeeez. Your apology should have been more than enough so take backup's advice and don't chase her down. Her grabbing her stuff is just to get a reaction out of you....call her bluff.

**searock** · 03-10-13, 06:01 PM

She is acting like this because you act like you don't even care that she's very upset at you. She wants you to understand why she is so upset. Have you even tried to understand? It seems to me that all you've been trying to do is just say you were sorry so that you could get it over with. Do you understand that what you did was very upsetting to her, and that it was wrong of you to divulge personal information she told you in confidence to anyone else? Are you genuinely sorry for what you did and are you genuinely upset that she's so upset that she's willing to break up with you? Just show her, prove to her that you understand and that you're really sorry and want to make it work with her. Right now, it just seems like you don't even care.

**basilandthyme** · 03-10-13, 08:20 PM

Searock has a point....I'm not getting much remorse from your post.

**staticsnake** · 04-10-13, 03:37 AM

Yes I care we talked last night and we are going to be friends and see how it goes and take it slower

**smackie9** · 04-10-13, 03:52 AM

Originally Posted by staticsnake

Yes I care we talked last night and we are going to be friends and see how it goes and take it slower

Friends? good that means you can go out with other people then if you are just friends

**staticsnake** · 04-10-13, 04:55 AM

Well we will likely get back together

**Boisdevie** · 04-10-13, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by staticsnake

Well we will likely get back together

And in the meantime because you are just 'friends' it means she can shag other guys.

**mollymari** · 05-10-13, 03:10 AM

Oh man, your funny, thanks for that, needed a good chuckle Boisdevie.
Statiscake, seems like you and your lady may be back on track? Lessons learned all that.
As a human being, when a wrong has been done and feelings bruised, the remorse offered from the offender is key. We are delicate creatures all in all and if the one we love hurts us and then offers apology that seems half assed, well, it is tough.
If you truly love/like this person, you'll find a way to let her know how sorry you are. Apparently you already told her the words; and that combined with genuine action ought be enough. I wouldn't play games with 'calling her bluff' though. Sounds like she was mighty miffed at you. But after the apologies, genuine and true, if she's still up in arms, well, maybe there's more to it and perhaps this is an excuse for something else. Put yourself in her shoes, deal with it the way you yourself would want to be dealt with and if that's not enough, take appropriate steps to do what is best for you.

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