thought I was in the friend zone for five years. I was wrong, thankfully?

[Zeke]

So, this is kind of a long story. I met a girl five years ago in 8th grade, we became good friends and eventually became best friends. At the start of our friendship i developed a crush on her, but i never thought that the feeling could be mutual. At a certain point, she told me that she loved me, and i freaked out i was so happy, but she had only meant it in a friendly way.

After watching her date guy after guy after guy for four years i actually gave up when she got engaged, and for a year i was happily not head-over-heals in love with this girl. I actually developed another crush on another girl, but that is another long, twisted story. Now, after knowing her and texting her nearly every day for five years and after her and her fiance broke up, a few weeks ago she offered to go to homecoming with me to which i reluctantly accepted. After a kind of long and awkward night (she has arthritis so we couldn't dance) we left and just talked by my car until her mom came and picked her up.

A week later, i planned on confessing all of my feelings to ger, as they had been stirred up at homecoming. But, before i could, she confessed to me that she had known that i liked her all that time, and that when she first met me she liked me back. The reason she never told me was because right before we met she was raped. She also confessed to me that she had been sexually active with her fiance, which really bothered me.
Now, it's been a few weeks and we have been getting closer and closer. I got over the fact that she and her ex-fiance had sex "too many times to even bother to keep count" which took a lot for me to do. And then she started to refer to me as "potential boyfriend," only potential because we are both afraid to enter into a relationship.
I told her that i had decided that i did want to be in a relationship and things started to get even better and better, until yesterday.

She had been looking forward to seeing her therapist to address our reluctance to date. When she came back she said that her therapist had given her unexpected advice that she really liked. the advice was " not dating exclusively. Not that the feelings aren't there but because it it unfair to both of us with busy schedules and college right around the corner. But she said we could still see each other as though in a relationship just without the boyfriend girlfriend titles. And then maybe after college we will still have those feelings and that's when we can pursue a relationship."

Personally, i am not okay with this. We spent a good portion of yesterday arguing but i feel like after five years, being told "maybe in another five years" is not okay. She told me before she told me her therapist's advice that these were just suggestions, but now it seems like we can either be "slightly more than friends" or nothing at all.

Every time i try to reason with her and tell her that i want to be in a real relationship, she closes up and just says i'm sorry. I proposed that we just move on without overcomplicating things, without trying to speculate on what thhe future will hold, but just to enjoy our time with each other before college starts (we might be going to different states for college). And now she is considering my idea, and this is where i'm left at.

[pcmaster]

Well its pretty much looks like 8 grader story. Just talking and considering but nothing is done. You want more of her before even had a little. Also you let woman decide, when you should be a man and take action to make things your way. She wants to have fun while cant promise longterm relationship. That means she likes you but shes not needy to spend rest of her life with ya. Its preety much true that future is unpredictable and so are the relationships. But theres only one way how to find out things - by doing them. I understand that you are afraid of falling in love from first fck cause you like this girl too much already. But at the same time you can turn around find a girl at your expierience level and go with her. You can sit around and watch this life pass by or you can stop waiting for a wonder and take action. In the end of the day you cant blame anyone because you are not where you want to be. Its all up to you.

[Boisdevie]

[QUOTE=Zeke;945321
Every time i try to reason with her and tell her that i want to be in a real relationship, she closes up and just says i'm sorry. I proposed that we just move on without overcomplicating things, without trying to speculate on what thhe future will hold, but just to enjoy our time with each other before college starts (we might be going to different states for college). And now she is considering my idea, and this is where i'm left at.[/QUOTE]

She is considering your idea? No she's not, she's playing with you. She probably likes the attention that she gets from you which boosts her ego. Will you and her become lovers? I think you're fooling yourself. You are deluded.