certain point of a relationship

[bcc517]

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now. We started out great and nothing wrong, like most new realtionships. We both are very busy with our jobs, I am a GM and she is a school teacher. During the summer months is my busy time and since she is off her slow time. Now with the days shorter and weather changing my days are slower and now she has class everyday. But we both know you cant spend every day together thats not the issue. About a month ago she has been so busy with school that she rarely even texts, calls anymore. We may see eachother for a cpl hours on a sunday. I know she is stressed but I mean I make sure to make time with her. I am more of the sensitive guy and she is not an emotional girl. ITs differnt for me but I like that in her. I feel like when I do text her during the week just asking how her day was or how she is, her texts are short really short. And ill ask her hey lets do something on the weekend, she will say im so busy I have no idea what i am doing. We both have our own lives but seems like there is something else going on. Is she just that busy or is she trying to push me away to break it off since she doersnt want to be the bad guy. Also she hates talking about our relationship. Thanks

[chillipepper333]

That doesn't sound great to me. For me when a person says they are too busy then it's a sign of lack of or no interest, because when you really like someone you are never too busy to see them. Sounds like she could be possibly phasing you out or taking some time out to think about things. Your natural instinct is to pursue even harder (which is fair enough) but right now, the best thing you can do is wait for her to come to you. So stop all contact with her (hard I know) wait to see what she does. You will have your answer by her actions fairly soon I reckon. But for me your gut instinct is normally the right one.

[bcc517]

thanks, tough thing to hear but it needed to be said and for me to hear.

[bcc517]

its weird too, because just less than a month ago I went back home with her for the weeend then we went to see my family the weekend after and we were great!!!

[IndiReloaded]

Short texts could mean she is unhappy or pulling away. Or she is just really busy. It's the change in behaviour that is important.

I've read some theories that say if a woman is pulling away you don't want to chase her b/c it makes you look weak/desperate. But it really depends *why* she is pulling away.

My partner travels a lot for work. Early in our relationship, I was pulling away b/c I was missing him so much it hurt. I was increasingly short with him, he was busy and told me to 'take all the time I needed'. He honestly thought he was giving me what I needed (space) and I interpreted his communication as not caring. Turns out it was the same for him (hurting from missing me), so we got into this negative cycle.

We solved this by having a really deep discussion about our feelings and needs from each other. Which turned out to be *more* communication when one or the other was feeling lonely or stressed. If he had continued to pull back and we didn't have our talk we probably would have broken up (not for long tho, I suspect).

So you need to find out why she is increasing the distance. Ask her what she really wants, and you tell her the same. You need to be vulnerable in order to be happy. Good luck.

[chillipepper333]

This is fairly normal behaviour and can be a head f**K I know. But my ex did stuff like this before breaking up with me, came as a huge shock. Sex was great, but when I looked at some of the signs after everything happened they were there but I choose to ignore them. Everyone is different I guess so who know's what she is thinking, but at the same time there are some signs which most people display when they are not sure about things. I know from myself, when I'm not sure about someone all of a sudden I'm 'busy' whereas before I had all the time in the world for them. Really like I said, you need to back off now. Do you're own thing, you start being busy when she wants to see you. I know it may sound like games, but it could save things. Don't respond to messages so quickly, ignore sometimes etc etc see what happens. Good luck

[bcc517]

Thank you very much, I mean I know she is craxy busy and when we do talk she tells me about everything that is going on with her teaching, and wow sounds like a lot!!! But yes i understand we need to talk it out. She did tell me the other week, oh I havent heard from you, and i said well i know your busy so didnt want to bother you, she said i would tell you if i couldnt talk or was too busy! Thanks again