I don't know if I'm just being a drama queen about this, but I can't let this feeling of inferiority go and I need to vent. Today I was talking to my boyfriend and we were talking about how society defined attractiveness in the male and female bodies. We then proceeded to talk about my body and how I feel insecure about it. I'm fully aware I'm not the hottest and most beautiful girl in the planet and I told him that it bothers me that he thinks the same thing (that I'm not a top model). Of course this is ridiculous on my part because I AM aware of it. However, even knowing this is just me being insecure, I can't help but feel bothered by it.
I try to be as honest with him as I can so I told him what was going on in my head: that whenever we are together, I think that he could be doing these things with hotter girls and he just told me: "I already had that chance and I told her to piss off" which, obviously, didn't make me feel any better because I took that as him admitting his ex-girlfriend is more attractive than I am. He told me he wasn't uncomfortable with my body at all and that he liked it and didn't understand why I felt uncomfortable because he thinks I am beautiful, "even though I'm not a super model". He told me I was ignoring the emotional toll of our relationship and that, to him, I was the best of the best, emotionally speaking, and that I "complete" him in a way no other has ever done.
I believe him, really, I do, but this is my first relationship and I think I'm letting my inexperience and insecurities affect me, because I feel threatened by this. I wanted him to find the most attractive girl and I wanted him to think I look better than his ex. And a few months ago, before we got physical with each other, he mentioned some things he didn't like in a female body and I have some of those things. My question is: girls, is it normal to be aware we are asking for impossible things but to still suffer with this? And guys, if you truly love a girl, does she become the hottest girl in the world or is that just wishful thinking and a fairytale perspective? Thanks.