Is he into me? On line dating.

[Lilia]

I just got an idea.. may be he was with his friends and he wanted to show them that he's got a girl who wants him. And he started sending me those msgs while his friends were laughing.

[pcmaster]

Dont think too much Lilia. Just trust what you see. You are overanalyzing now. I think guy was spontaneous and then his mum send him to market to buy milk. There is lot of things you cant affect. When you talk with people in eye to eye its easy. But indirect communication leaves too much space for misunderstandings. Cause you cant see persons reaction and face expresions body language etc. Its good to use indirect comunication as a bridge to set up date but no more than that. Dont take everything so personaly. I think guy wasnt joking about you.
Give it few days and I bet he will contact you again.

[pcmaster]

Omg guys OMG! Can't wait to share it with you! The guy sent me a msg! He asked me if I was watching Californication or if I wanted to watch it at his place!! Can you believe it guys?? That super attractive guy actually liked me. It proves that I am an attractive woman. Wow. I am shocked guys. I used to believing that I am worthless. and now I am so happy. It is like the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel that I gained my confidence back. The last time I went on a date was 4 years ago. And now I went on a date and I didn't fail. Wow. Thank you for supporting me guys! I love you all!

Oh I didnt saw this message before. Thats why I said you need more social health. So your life dont depend on one person. When things dont go as planed you fell from heaven to hell again. Would be better to date more than one guy at once so that "those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind. "(Its from video I watched today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h64TFQpX5cM)

[Lilia]

Dont think too much Lilia. Just trust what you see. You are overanalyzing now. I think guy was spontaneous and then his mum send him to market to buy milk. There is lot of things you cant affect. When you talk with people in eye to eye its easy. But indirect communication leaves too much space for misunderstandings. Cause you cant see persons reaction and face expresions body language etc. Its good to use indirect comunication as a bridge to set up date but no more than that. Dont take everything so personaly. I think guy wasnt joking about you.
Give it few days and I bet he will contact you again.

...True I tend to overanalyze such things. I would probably drive myself crazy if I was not sharing it on here...
You guys are so kind.
I replied to his last msg with "lol I wasn't serious either.=) Even though I could be into it after a drink"
He said "ok we will buy some good wine."
I understand that my msg was kind of slutty but I couldn't care less.

[Lilia]

Oh I didnt saw this message before. Thats why I said you need more social health. So your life dont depend on one person. When things dont go as planed you fell from heaven to hell again. Would be better to date more than one guy at once so that "those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind. "(Its from video I watched today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h64TFQpX5cM)

This is exactly how I felt... like it sent me back to hell again...
I'd like to date more guys but I am afraid I will go through the same drama with each of them. I can't even deal with one date now.
It is like even if I don't like the guy I desperately need him to like me anyway.

[pcmaster]

You need a good friend. Emotional support is what makes you strong. Even when you dont believe in yourself a true friend will and then impossible things becomes possible("To achieve everything thats possible aim for impossible."). What is your passions? You could meet friendly people in that field and you would have one thing in common already.

You know this vulnerable state when you rebuilding confidence after breakup. Somone who understands you and shares common interests could be useful.

[bluenote99]

This is exactly how I felt... like it sent me back to hell again...
I'd like to date more guys but I am afraid I will go through the same drama with each of them. I can't even deal with one date now.
It is like even if I don't like the guy I desperately need him to like me anyway.

this is why you need to spend some time feeling comfortable and getting confident within yourself first Lilia, you seem a nice girl but you're getting way too anxious over a first date and maybe misreading minor things all wrong, its natural enough wanting people to like you but you really need to start liking yourself first hun

[mollymari]

Hey Lilia,
You made a healthy step to free yourself of your ex. This is a recent thing. Perhaps taking some more time for just you could benefit your over all view of yourself before opening the door on someone new.

You went through a doozey of a bad relationship. The harm inflicted on you needs to be healed and this will take time. okay? take some time for just your self.

I understand your freshly single and this may be unchartered grounds and your feeling a little strange, like you need some attention, to know your desirable and one way to do this is with the online dating sites; well, if it makes you feel good to communicate, have a little flirtation session now and then, if your happy with it then do it. But remember what you've been through, Perhaps getting too involved is not the best thing at this time; and if someone makes you feel all wrapped up in self doubt, well then, you need to say goodbye to them. If anyone makes you feel any kind of negative self doubt, well, why would you bother with them when there's so many good people in the World huh?

Hey, you got away from a bad relationship. Your safe, sound, you and your pup are free again. REjoice in this lady, you've earned it. Have fun but guard your heart and don't fall into any unhealthy patterns. Self love babe. Self love

[TablesandChairs]

You're not going to get guys if you're neurotic - men can sense that a mile off. Being overly available or 'desperate' will show, even if you're trying to hide it. This guy was attractive but what else do you know that makes you so keen? Not much. A few chats, some video communication...the end. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You move on, that's the nature of dating. You don't get stuck on one person and obsess. You've only been single for 4 months, not 4 years so I can't imagine why you feel like that's such a huge thing. Relax. Get some therapy.

[Wakeup]

I don't know if I want to go to his place. May be we should meet for another drink and see how it goes. May be there will be chemistry next time.

Its fun to read the responses your trolling is wheeling in. Well done!

Here's my next wasted breath.

Yea... tell him you'd like to go out somewhere other then his house until you've gotten to know him better. If he's a gentleman who really would like to getyo know you past your sexual expertise, he'll meet with you outside of his home or yours.

Like I said, don't fk him on the first date. The last one was just a first meet. Don't be a silly ass and think you're not attractive if he doesn't try to jump you.

[Lilia]

You're not going to get guys if you're neurotic - men can sense that a mile off. Being overly available or 'desperate' will show, even if you're trying to hide it. This guy was attractive but what else do you know that makes you so keen? Not much. A few chats, some video communication...the end. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You move on, that's the nature of dating. You don't get stuck on one person and obsess. You've only been single for 4 months, not 4 years so I can't imagine why you feel like that's such a huge thing. Relax. Get some therapy.

I've been neurotic all my life. That's why I am obsessing with my looks cos looks is the only weapon I have. The relationship started falling apart 2 years ago. So I've been stuck between being single and not single for 2 years. and now I am ready to move on and to never come back to him again.
And I obsess over that guy cos I think I won't have the guts to go on another date with another person if I fail this date. And I am a very shy person also.

[Lilia]

Like I said, don't fk him on the first date. The last one was just a first meet. Don't be a silly ass and think you're not attractive if he doesn't try to jump you.

Ok I won't cos I probably don't have the guts for it anyways. I just want him to show interest in that.

[Lilia]

You need a good friend. Emotional support is what makes you strong. Even when you dont believe in yourself a true friend will and then impossible things becomes possible("To achieve everything thats possible aim for impossible."). What is your passions? You could meet friendly people in that field and you would have one thing in common already.

You know this vulnerable state when you rebuilding confidence after breakup. Somone who understands you and shares common interests could be useful.

I might take Spanish classes cos I am interested in learning languages...I used to take English classes many years ago and other people in my class were housewives over 30...
May be I am a shallow person but everything that is not dating seems boring..Everybody is having fun with it, having sex(my bf wasn't even good at it)... and I want my piece of cake too! I''ll be less desirable as years go by...I am 24 already. Everybody wants a young girl.

[Lilia]

Thank you for your support, guys!

[Lilia]

Thank you mollymari, I'd better start loving myself real soon.)