He says sex/romance is unnatural?

[kaya]

I was dating a guy for a few months that I met through a friend. The last time that I saw him, he came over for a nice dinner. All seemed well. Then he essentially went MIA for week. I mean, he'd always respond if I texted, but he was being very distant. After about 3 weeks, I asked him what was up. He emailed me telling me that whenever we tried to interject sex into our dynamic, it did not work. He said that it felt unnatural and he couldn't make himself fit into a boyfriend role. He elaborated though, that one experience with me felt very natural and sexy. I might add that from my viewpoint he was quite interested in the sex, was the one that really pushed for it early on, and there didn't seem to be any problems specifically there. However, I did notice that he sometimes seemed to shut down on me afterward, almost like he wanted to keep me at an arms length. In the email, he told me a lot of complimentary things about myself and that he wanted to continue a friendship. I responded that I really liked him too, but that I was unsure about continuing a friendship with someone I was previously seeing/romantic with. I told him that it's rarely something I do because it can be awkward. He responded to that by sending an email asking if I want to go hiking. I said "we'll see." He just sent a joking email back to me. Then he emailed today bc he saw on FB that I had been injured.

I should add, that he did something similar to this very early on in the relationship. Pulled back, wanted to be friends. When I responded with something like "that's fine, I wish you the best" etc, he seemed upset and kept telling me how much he still wanted to hang out, go hiking, go to dinner. So I said he could come over and help me put a patio table together. He jumped at that chance, became flirty beforehand, and then we essentially started dating again. Back then, I chalked it up to a freak out phase, and also figured that maybe he didn't think I was that into him as I wanted to move more slowly than he did.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? I've never really had anyone say they wanted to "be friends" and actually mean it? And his whole reasoning for ending things is odd. He definitely seemed attracted to me...it was not like I pursued him. And he definitely seemed to like the sex. Maybe there are just intimacy issues there? Anyone have any thoughts? I am just planning to move on. It's a shame because we do enjoy each other but I'm afraid it would just lead to confusion. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts on the whole situation. I find it curious. As much as I've dated, no one has ever acted quite like this.

[VincenzoG91]

Sounds like he has a fear of commitment, so he is sabotaging the relationship. Ignore him and find somebody normal.

[kaya]

Thanks VincenzoG91. That's kind of what I was thinking - maybe he just wants there to be a problem. Weird that he pushes to hang out though.