Ex asked for friendship then cut me off months later when I asked for some space

[Jojo Joe]

So to summarize my story...

I dated that girl for a year, I loved her so much, did everything for her. She hurt me a lot during this one year relationship, and she was immigrating by the end of the year. Hurt after hurt, I still stood by her and she always said she's amazed how I'm still with her despite how awful she is sometimes and said she loves me so much for being so patient. I literally did everything for her and she always said how lucky she is to have me and that I do things for her she never dreamed anyone will ever do any day.

By the end of the year right before she immigrated, she started acting cold and pushed me away. I stopped talking to her for two weeks, and then I re-initiated contact as she had exams. She was so mad at me, saying I wasn't there and all that. I told her she pushed me away be how cold and rude she was. I always offered to come see her and take her out during her study break and to be there, and she always turned me down and treated me badly.

We started getting better by time, but nowhere near like before. Until the day came she had to immigrate. Her flight was from another city. I traveled all the way just to say goodbye one last time and she refused to see me after I traveled all this road alone and asked me to off. I told her she's cold, heartless, ungrateful and that I will never forgive her. The other day after she arrived she said she's sorry for everything and she feels bad and wishes me well.

A month letter, she sent an e-mail saying sorry. I didn't reply. A month after she sent me a letter. I replied. I forgave her. She said she wanted to stay friends. We stayed talking and texting as friends for 7 months. We started getting close again. I was going to apply for a visa to visit her. In the middle of all this, there was still some fighting. Until she started acting cold again. She ignored me once cause she thought I was being dramatic over how bad she treated me earlier. We settled our differences but I was still hurt over how she started acting again and told her I needed some space and will call her when I'm better. She said she understands and that I should take my time.

Three weeks later, I texted her. She never replied. The other day my aunt died and I told her. Still no reply. I tried for 2 weeks. Even sent her chocolate and a good luck card cause she had exams coming up. Nothing. I was so hurt. I literally asked her to not do this to me again. Told her please don't put me through this again, it took a lot out of me to forgive you the first time and let you back in my life, don't put me through it again.

And still nothing. I got so hurt. Told her I wish I never met her. Told her I'm so hurt that she's hurt me so much, I forgave her and let her back in my life only for her to cut me off this way. That was 2 months ago.

For some reason earlier this month, I tried contacting her. I was hurting everyday just looking back and remembering how much we both cared and all I gave her and how I forgave her only to be cut off this way. I tried over and over, told her how much she is hurting me, how my life is all messed up because of this and asked her for the sake of me just being a human who is hurting everyday, asked her to just tell me why this has happened and what its about. No reply. The last time I tried was a week ago.

I could really use some advice or clarification regarding what this could be, why she cut me off like that after everything and all the times she said she felt bad for doing what she did to me, why repeat all that again and hurt me even more? I loved her with all my heart, cared about her more than anyone ever did and she always said I do for her the things she never dreamed anyone would do for her and she was caring and supportive despite being hurtful too.

[Constantinesbr]

Man, I got a similar story.
Do not , I repeat do not contact her.
If a woman wants a man, she will do everything to see u.
Do not seek reasons, sometimes a little rock turns the boat.
I know how hard it is, I am fighting with my desire every second,
GO on with ur life and if she wants u, she will get there.
And never again give ur heart, i know wat happens.
U are not alone, remember that.
See my thread for future reference.

[Jojo Joe]

Man, I got a similar story.
Do not , I repeat do not contact her.
If a woman wants a man, she will do everything to see u.
Do not seek reasons, sometimes a little rock turns the boat.
I know how hard it is, I am fighting with my desire every second,
GO on with ur life and if she wants u, she will get there.
And never again give ur heart, i know wat happens.
U are not alone, remember that.
See my thread for future reference.

It's just that I wanna know why she cut me off like that after everything.

[searock]

She cut you off again because she realized you were still hung up on her and didn't want to deal with your drama all over again. She made the mistake of accepting to "remain friends" with you (big mistake since you still had feelings for her), then she understood it was a mistake and she went back on the right track. Or who knows, she has a boyfriend and doesn't want to disrespect her relationship by talking to an ex that still has feelings for her. We cannot know the one precise reason, nor should you care.

Do NOT contact her again. You have issues if you are still so hung up on her... seriously, her actions are ruining your life? It's delusional to think that way. You are making yourself miserable by clinging on to the delusion that you two will someday get back together. Just accept the facts and move the f*ck on. Don't contact her again.

[HeartIsAching]

So you played constant games with her, and you're confused that she walked away? Time to learn something.

[4 ratties]

Why do you wanna be friends with someone that you can't even get along with? Come on buddy pull yourself together, meet new people that aren't bipolar, tighten your balls, and quit trying to contact her.

[Jojo Joe]

So you played constant games with her, and you're confused that she walked away? Time to learn something.

What games? I didn't play anything. I was going to visit her until she started treating me badly, so I asked for some space and contacted her again.

[searock]

Did you not read our advice? Stop contacting her. Move. On. Get a life of your own. Stop pestering her.

[Jojo Joe]

Did you not read our advice? Stop contacting her. Move. On. Get a life of your own. Stop pestering her.

I read it and appreciate it. Its just that I feel used, I did everything and tolerated a lot for her, and she just cut me off like that after saying she understands I need time. I once asked for space before and she totally refused. It sucks to be cut off like that not knowing the answer. And I did go through some rough times because of it and I let her know but no response whatsoever.

[HeartIsAching]

What games? I didn't play anything. I was going to visit her until she started treating me badly, so I asked for some space and contacted her again.

I hope you're kidding.

[Jojo Joe]

I hope you're kidding.

I'm not. I didn't start or play any games. She left the country after breaking my heart. She contacted me again and said sorry. We got close again and asked me to visit. She then started treating me badly again and dropped the whole visit thing so I asked for some time and she agreed. I contacted her only to find out she decided to cut me off without stating any reason.

[HeartIsAching]

LOL, OMG yes you did. I'm too disinterested now to point 'em out to you. You need to self-reflect.

[Jojo Joe]

LOL, OMG yes you did. I'm too disinterested now to point 'em out to you. You need to self-reflect.

As you wish, I really don't know what you're talking about and I'm here to seek advice that's all.

[searock]

I read it and appreciate it. Its just that I feel used, I did everything and tolerated a lot for her, and she just cut me off like that after saying she understands I need time. I once asked for space before and she totally refused. It sucks to be cut off like that not knowing the answer. And I did go through some rough times because of it and I let her know but no response whatsoever.

Do you hear yourself? You aren't entitled to anything from her part. You two are BROKEN UP and she owes you nothing at all. You can only blame yourself for your own pain, you should have gone no contact as soon as you broke up, instead by keeping in contact with her, YOU caused yourself more pain. You are to blame, not her. She owes you nothing. Stop pestering her and for the love of god stop playing stupid mind games such as trying to guilt-trip her into replying to you. Just leave her alone.

[mollymari]

The pain of rejection can be a horrible road to stumble through and I think most of us have endured this at one point or another.

Yes you are feeling very sad and confused by the sounds of it but brute truth advice has been offered well. It is sad. You liked this person very much; had a roller coaster ride apart then closer, and again yet somehow you managed to hold hopes for this persons return to your life; but now you need to understand that although it hurts like crazy and you can't stand it, this person has moved on. 'She' may not know how to deal with you. May have thought being friends would be easier on you but this was delusional and (probably unintentionally) cruel.
Now, she's cut you off and this (though it may feel really harsh) WILL be easier on you in the long run. No more false hopes for her return.

Time to listen to some new songs, go to some new places and don't put yourself through any more agony. ie. any triggers that make you think of her.

sorry your going through this harshness but you'll get through it some how.