how to handle this situation with an ex.

[djo87]

We broke up almost 2 years ago after being together on and off for about 4 years. to sum it up, she left me for someone else without even having the courtesy of breaking up face to face, or even by phone, by nothing actually. It was really cold and inconsiderate. Yea I was really heartbroken but life goes on and got over most of it eventually. To be honest I'm still a little heart broken and angry.

Anyway, I had recently moved to a new state and job about a year ago. The past year though she has been texting and calling me every now and then telling me how sorry she is and how she still misses me and still has feeling for me and she doesn't know why. Turns out things have not been the best between her and this guy for the past year. I'm ignoring most of her calls and texts but I admit I give in once in a while and answer back. I'm keeping a cool head though, telling her how messed up it was what she had done and that I'm still a little angry, but I don't hate her and wish her the best. We both know we were such a huge part of each other's lives and she still thinks about us time to time. But I keep telling her even though I do miss what we had, it would never work out and that I wouldn't be able to ever trust her again and I wouldn't want to end up together with her if the chance came up down the road. But she still calls and tries to contact me! She even wants to fly out to where I am and see me.

I meant everything I told her, but I still get jealous when I think of her with someone else. Yea I do miss her but like I said, things ended up in a ugly way and I do not want to get back together with her, then why do I still get angry and sad thinking about her? Why does a part of me secretly hope it's her calling or texting me every time I hear my phone ring? It's stupid I feel like this and I don't know why. Just reaching out for some advice. thanks.

[smackie9]

It's the fact that it did end badly and you didn't get proper closure. Did she ever explain why she broke up with you? And why would you keep in contact if there is no purpose to do so? Two years is a really long time to be hanging on...ask yourself why are you so scared to let go?

[Boisdevie]

It's the fact that it did end badly and you didn't get proper closure. Did she ever explain why she broke up with you? And why would you keep in contact if there is no purpose to do so? Two years is a really long time to be hanging on...ask yourself why are you so scared to let go?

I normally agree with Smackie but don't go for this whole 'closure' bullsh1t - it's word. But yes, the big issue is why the dude can't just get over it and move on.