would like to hear peoples point of view on this

[DownNtOut]

me and my ex gf split up a year ago. we had been going out for 10 months.
we kept in touch and met up about once a month for coffee or cinema.
in april i asked her if she would get back with me. she said no. we stayed
in contact and in july we went to a concert. she stayed over and we
hooked up that night. she stayed in bed with me til lunch time and then had to go.
a week later i went to her town and spilled my guts to her and said i was so in love
with her and wanted to be with her. she said she needed time to think as another ex
of her wanted to get with her. two days later she told me she was trying again with
her other ex, who lives in her town. she said she loved me in a friendship companion way.

a month of NC, she texts me to say she will be at the same music festival as me.
the 1st night we spend 4-5 hours dancing and i walk her back to her tent.
the 2nd day we spend together and kissed alot, seen loads of bands and had loads of fun. she suggested we spend the night together but not in a sexual way. we slept together the 2nd night.
the 3rd day we spent in each others company and with mates in a group.
after the festival i gave her space.
a month back i asked her to a concert and she agreed to go. we had dinner and the concert was great. its crazy how we can chat so easily.
when we got back to mine she was leaving i said to her maybe its better we dont see each other for a while.
we chatted for a hour, i asked her what was us being together at the festival all about as she had been back with her bf for a month. she said she never felt the way she feels with me with anyone else. said she could be herself with me.
i told her she is who i want to be with. i told her to to think about it. asked her to meet again in a week. she said she needed more time than that to think, i said ok. 3days later she text to say she was still thinking. i said take your time.

so i called her last friday to meet. we met monday. chatted for 4 hours in a cafe. i walked her to her car. asked her has anything changed. she said she was staying with her bf. she said her bf makes her feel the same as i do/did. she said she knows how i feel and that she would leave it up to me to contact her. she said she would never not want to meet up as friends. she said she loves to chat to me as she thinks im a great guy. i said i would need alot of time to heal and get over her.

during our chat in the cafe she asked me if i wanted to go on a trip with her and some other people. including her bf i guess. i not goin as i told her i dont wanna see her for now. shes left the ball in my court as to contacting her.

does she feel sorry for me?
what the hell was the last 6 months about?
was i ever really an option?
grass always greener?
how long do you think her and the other ex will last?
should i never contact her again?

sorry about the long post
i just want other peoples point of view

thanks

[RyanJames]

Womens nature (their biological directive and the way they are because of evolution) causes them to seek the protection and support of many male partners and at the same time to re-produce with as much a biological diversity as possible. The human race is (as are all species) all about reproduction, however while dogs think it is fine to wander up to a complete stranger in a park and try to hump it, or settle for a tree if no other dogs are around, we have these sociological rules that prevent us from doing what our nature would intend for us to do. Of course this can become confusing for people with not much experience of or exposure to relationships and your girl is one of these. She is trying to apply her sociological training but her feelings and nature are still there, under the surface. It is amazing how girls struggle with this stuff and the number of different excused they come up with to justify what they think is bad behaviour. I know this one girl (an ex) who likes to sleep with me from time to time, who always talks about having three drinks before her pussy takes over. Her words not mine - I am just the happy beneficiary! Her way around the social conditioning that says she is a slut if she sleeps with me is to abdicate all responsibility to alcohol and her lady parts. That way she gets sex and doesnt have to feel bad about it the next day. That was what your last 6 months was about, it is a shame that she doesnt understand herself enough to know what is going on, then she could just be honest and have fun with both of you. She doesnt feel sorry for you and it is irrelevant anyway. You were and still are one of her options, but dont crave exclusivity, it is very unlikely and probably not good for either of you. The grass is always greener and it is always better to have several fields to graze in. Asking how long she will last with her ex is dumb. Feel free to contact her again, so long as you are fully aware of the reality of the situation, dont stalk her, maybe try and educate her in what she is really feeling, poor confused girl. Above all, go and date some other girls, lots of them, have fun, get some experience of life and how love works.

[smackie9]

She told you straight that she feels like you are just a friend so you need to have a talk with heart about it. As hard as it sounds end the torture and don't contact her again . You deserve way better than that.