Am I being unreasonable or did he screw up?

[alexis422]

So I am in college and have been dating this guy for a little over a year. I am from out of state and so he's only met my parents once when they came to school for the day last year. He is from state and so i've met his parents many times. This past weekend, my parents came for the entire weekend and I assumed he'd spend time with them. He worked on friday from 12-6pm and saturday from 4-8pm. I invited him to many events throughout the weekend such as dinner fri and sat night and told him if he could to stop by the tailgate fields sat before work and also mentioned sunday breakfast. i reminded him a week in advnace they were coming and wanted to breakfast with him sunday. well, he told me he had two assignments due friday nigths o he couldnt do dinner, was doing hw sat morning, and sat night had another assignemnt due at midngith so he couldn't do dinner sat night. He also did not mention the fact that he would be going to an nfl game and would have to leave sunday morning until yesterday. therefore, he was making it impossible for him to spend time with my parents and it seemed like he didnt want to when he suddenly dropped the fact that he had to leave early sunday morning so i finally expressed my disappointment leading to a fight. i finally asked if he could do breakfast and he in a rude way said he could do it at 9 he guessed but it semeed like he had no desire to. we ended up in a fight and he never brought up breakfast so me being disappointed didnt bring it up either. so he never saw my parents. i feel extremely hurt and embarrassed. am i overreacting or did he screw up? he's only met my parents once and they never come to school and the one weekend they do, he couldn't make time for them. i can't help but feel very upset. am i wrong?

[4 ratties]

I would be upset too. He acted very selfish. If he knows how important family is to you, and chose to blow them off, then he is not respecting you and not putting enough priority on the relationship

[rebecca72]

I would say that you are feeling the right way and he is a douche for not giving you and your parents an hour of his precious time. Cramming for an exam I get but homework, he could have taken a break from to spend with you. I'd he as serious as you ?? Could he be trying to slow down the relationship??? Hang in there and get to the REAL REASON(S).

[Boisdevie]

Communication. Tell him how you feel. See what he says in reply.

[TablesandChairs]

He couldn't spare an hour? Bull. You know this.

[alexis422]

i don't know what to do. im really hurt and am contemplating breaking up with this guy over this? like he made me feel like after this long that our relationship is a joke

[alexis422]

and i've tried talking to him about it and he basically keeps saying that im not being understanding and keeps blaming me saying i didnt invite him to breakfast on sunday morning the one hour he couldve done it. except i did several times and he is saying because i didn't remind him or something he didn't think it was happening. well couldn't he have called/texted me asking if breakfast was still on and when? I THINK SO

[DalM0m]

before you break up with him, talk to him. tell him what you told us that his behavior hurt & embarrassed you. Ask him to explain his actions. Listen to the explanation. If it makes sense & you want to, forgive him. If it doesn't ring true, you have some tough decisions ahead.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

^^^**** this noise. Just cease contact and move on. No use in letting him argue his way into another chance with you, only to continue with more of the same or dump not long after. Ignoring this kid will get the point across better than anything. The point being, **** you, pussy..which is what he is.

[Maple1714]

OP - I had a BF in college that never wanted to spend time with my parents...it was b/c he was a closet drug addict. My parents are pretty awesome and most of my friends prefer hanging out with them over me...haha. But seriously, if I had a BF who dodged some family time like yours did...I would dump his ass. I would gather from his actions that he just isn't as into the relationship as you are. I've acted like him before in the reverse situation...and I didn't want to spend family time with my BF and his parents b/c I didn't really like any of them anymore :/ I felt that I had better things to do. Sooooo I would say your BF is an overall pussy, not really that into the relationship anymore or a drug addict.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Sooooo I would say your BF is an overall pussy, not really that into the relationship anymore or a drug addict.

I choose option D - A and B.

[Maple1714]

I choose option D - A and B.

OR "All of the above"...that would be option D I guess.

[alexis422]

well now he's begging for forgiveness and asking for my parents number so he can speak to them which is just like awkward. the thing is our relationship was already bumpy and then he did this....so this just like was the cherry on top. i feel like if our relationship had been pretty much perfect i wouldn't care as much but it wasn't. i had just had a talk with him about how i needed him to communicate better with me the week before.

[searock]

Yep, definitely communication issues. You should have told him explicitly that it was important for you for him to meet your parents; he should have told you explicitly that he didn't feel like it; you both should have discussed the situation together. Talk to him now: explain to him why you are hurt and embarrassed, ask him why he didn't tell you that he didn't want to meet your parents and let him know that he shouldn't be afraid of telling you how he feels. Communicate.

[alexis422]

he had already met them once last year for breakfast. i told him last monday they were coming that weekend (so i gave him the whole week) and said my parents want to do breakfast with you on sunday and if that doesnt work then breakfast on saturday. i didn't think i would have to tell him that it was important to me for him to come...i just expected as a boyfriend that he would get it and come. he didnt tell me until that saturday that he was leaving sunday morning. he is saying he really did want to spend time with my parents and that it was just a really busy weekend for him