Thinking about him more than I should.... :)

[luci]

Hello there guys and gals!

Decided to jump in here and seek for an advice, cause I am in a freshly started relationship and I am slightly out of control considering thinking about him.

In short, I am 30 years old he is 23. Since we met (we play in a same band) it was attraction on a first sight but we didn't want to start romantic relationship since we didn't know eachother well and we didn't want to put in akward state our relationship as band members. But... as we were getting to know eachother we spend so much time together, having such a great time...bicycling, talking, laughing... (as friends, but the attraction between us was so obvious, even the age diference is not a problem) It was a thirst for hanging together from both mine and his side. His friends accepted me as one of their own. Eventually we let ourselves be together and slowley ended in a romantic relationship. He was a bit "afraid" at the start (maybe its his age, lack of expirience) so I let it go slowly not to scare him away... He became more and more intimate with me, when we are alone as well as in the company of others. Lets say we are in this stat about a month now.... So basically, right now, we are at the start of our relationship. He is a great guy and he means to me a lot, in general. I would really like to put an effort in this relationship.

Now, last few days I've noticed that my mind drifts of towards him more often then it should. Well, guess that is just natural but honestly I would like to control it. Don't want to be clingy or opsessed... and the thing is we spent so much time together enjoying as friends as well as partners and honestly I tend to miss his company or expect his company during the day, cause we have such a great time together whatever that we do. I do other things during the day but he is always somwhere in my mind. I would really like to let loose and just relax...and I wonder what you guys do in such a situations? I wouldn't want to make some stupid silly mistake just cause I am so "in the pink sky" and scare him off. I have never been the hard to get tipe once when I "jump in the boat"

Any advices how to still my mind.....and for example if he doesn't text me or call me till the evening how to cool myself down and get rid of any silly negative thaughts? Thanks guys, any advice would be of help.... Just needed to stress myself out a bit. You know how silly is to be in love

Lu

[michelle23]

Just relax. Your in the honeymoon period. Its normal to have obsessive thoughts and some anxiety. It happens to everyone! Hes probably feeling the same. As long as your not texting him every hour its ok. If you want to send him a good morning text do and then just say c u later.. make time for friends, family and hobbies so you and he dont smother each other. good luck

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[luci]

Hey, thx michelle!
Know what you mean, its just that I really hate this non-stop thinking about him...and it scares me a litlle bit, you know, picturing last time we were together, or thinking about our next together time. It is just so irritating. I mean, I have expirience in that matter from before and I am trying to handle it. Loosing my head will just turn me into something that I am not. So I am really trying to keep my head cool over those irritating thaughts. Like for example... uh oh...why he isn't holding me right now and he did yestreday and the day before? I'm thinking...I know it is completely irrelevant but at that moment I start to be anxyous, then I'm needy..softly, but still needy.
Well its good that I am not really the type of million text or phone calls a day so I don't have problem with that, but I would have a problem and start to be extremly anxious, as I said, if the evening comes and he didn't call me or just say hi to me. Think I need to collect some strenght and have a night off next time he suggest we meet (cause we see eachother often now). I know I will be crazy of the wish to see him but just maybe I have to do something that it is opposed to what I really want, so that I allow myself not to jump on every his invite. I mean, we are pretty much even on that matter for now. Its just that I really care this timein his case and I just don't want this "obsessive" thinking ruin something good, making me somone I am truly not and someone he didn't started dating at the and of the day. Also, he is younger, less expirienced then I and though he is very sencere and serious in his opinions I still want to keep in mind not to scare him off. I don't want to tur into a silly litlle in-love girl all of a sudden. It only brings negative vibe and negative vibe can be felt, it is consuming and I am tring to fight it out no matter the size of it.
Anyhow, cheers! I'll come around again for sure, I do need a litlle help here or support should I say, nothing serious. It is always good to hear other peoples oppinion on the subject no metter how insignificant it may seem.

[michelle23]

If you start playing hard to get now, you will scare him off. Right now you are both on the same page-there is no issue so dont create one by pretending your busy when he texts you. Just go for it. Have fun. Enjoy being with him. Every new relationship is a risk so dont allow your fear of being hurt to hold you back. He sounds genuine and really likes you so just go with the flow and again its normal to think about him a lot! Your falling in love. Just go with it x

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