Does this girl like me or not?

[RobertWQ]

I'm confused. Based off this one message, please give your impression:


"I liked working with you too, I think we make a really great team and I wish we had classes together next year so we could study and kick ass in them! And Im 100% positive I'm going to [school I suggested], so don't you worry Alright, send me what you've got and I'll finish it up as soon as I can!"

[Go4it]

Yes she likes you. Does she want to date you? You need more information / more interaction with her to tell.

[smackie9]

Sorry but I didn't get any impression that she is into you.....the conversation is pretty neutral like she is talking to a buddy. If a girl really likes you she will do something or say something to get your attention, like "Wow I can't believe you don't have a GF." "Have you seen the previews for **said movie? Sure would like to see it (hint hint). She laughs at all your jokes even tho the are not funny, leans in to talk to you, touches your thigh or your arm, etc. If you have had tons of interaction with her, has she done any of these things?

[RobertWQ]

Yeah, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. She has a boyfriend, and she always seems to do just enough to give me the impression there's something that may happen, but with enough distance that it never does (she's still never told me about the boyfriend), and then she's gone again until the next time. That's all that ever happens. Being on this forum helps you analyze other people's situations dispassionately, and if I were to analyze this one, I'd probably say something like, "While you're sitting here typing away about whether she likes you, and why she isn't writing more frequently, she's sucking off her boyfriend / having sex with him." And that's kind of all I really need to know.

[Wakeup]

Sounds to me like she's friending you because you're smart and she could use whatever it is you're sending to her that she's going to "finish up."

There is no indication whatsoever that she' likes you in any other capacity then a study buddy, school friend. View her in the same light and you'll not be so conflicted.

[RobertWQ]

I can't really explain her behavior but at this point I don't really care anymore. She's not using me to help her with her homework (that's not what was going on or what I was doing, she actually volunteered to do a bunch of it), we were lab partners. Anyway, main thing to realize is that why I'm typing about her, she's having sex with someone else. There isn't much to say beyond that. I need to find a girl who clearly and unambiguously likes me, and who doesn't have a bad habit of consistently omitting the fact the she has a boyfriend, and who doesn't have a boyfriend.


What I don't like is that I feel like I am open, clear-intentioned, and straightforward with some of these chicks, while they always have some complicated and bogus agenda ... they want you for attention, or they want to maintain a connection with you because they think it'll be helpful ... or they want you as a backup in case the decide to leave their boyfriend (!) ... do we really need other people so much that we have to play a bunch of games for some nebulous agenda ... and what is the outcome?

What is this chick really getting out of all this? It seems to me like she worked her ass off to prove to me that she was a capable lab partner (she wrote me an email early on in lab saying she wanted to prove she could earn an A, not just because of my hard work but hers as well) ... and that's all I thought was going on at first ... but then it seemed like it was developing into more (little stuff she did) and she still never told me about her boyfriend.

It's all too ridiculous for me. Either have a clear reason for doing things or you're just messing around, which gets you nowhere. Either make things happen or focus your energies on something else.

[smackie9]

She is treating you like she would anyone else girl or guy. It's you and what's going on in your head that is creating all these confusions. Just because a girl is being nice to you doesn't mean she is doing it for romantic reasons. They are just being a nice person in general, and not all girls have "an adgenda" to take advantage of you or lead you on. You just can't assume anything, and just act a certain way hoping they somehow SEE your intentions.....that is not how it works. You like a girl you ask her out on a date....that's it, simple as that. If she says no, you just saved yourself months of conflicting thoughts and hopes. You need confidence, and just do it without hesitation.

[RobertWQ]

Well, I think I can usually tell the difference between what you're talking about. Remember not everything is in that one post. I mean I asked her out for coffee after finals and she agreed (still didn't tell me about her boyfriend which would have been a good time to mention him) ... I have several lab partners for example, I can tell which ones are just acquaintances.

You can believe me on this or not. Something more than what is typical was going on here ... but like I have said, while I'm typing, she's sleeping with another guy. That's enough. If she wanted to be with me then she'd be doing more than she is.


I only began thinking about her as more than a lab partner I liked when we had a presentation to work on. She said "should we get together to work on it?" and we did, and it was just the two of us when technically it should have included our whole group. She was dressed up nicer than I've ever seen her dressed before, in makeup and all, and we were sitting next to each other, touching, etc. and it felt like a date (I have been on them you know). That's when I started developing actual romantic feelings for her and began thinking about it becoming something more.

Of course, about 30 min into that her boyfriend showed up (didn't introduce himself as such), and at that point I was like WTF and left. But I admit I did develop feelings for her at that point.

But yeah, I did ask her out for coffee after finals and she seemingly agreed, still didn't mention she has a boyfriend (saw from her facebook), and the thing has been confusing since.

It's enough though, I like to analyze behavior and such, but it is silly of me to continue to wonder about someone like this, because I DO know what it's like when a girl clearly likes me and wants to pursue something more without a lot of games, questions, and messing about.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I operate under the assumption that a girl doesn't really like me until she sleeps with me. Even if we've been out on dates, shit happens. People meet other people. People go back to people. People flake. Don't worry so much about it. Hell, even if she has slept with me, doesn't necessarily mean she likes me.

[Ugly_Swan]

Haven't had more than a minute to think about this reply -- I think she did like you so she wanted to at least see if she can get you to like her back! Even if she wouldn't leave her BF; by omitting that fact and getting you to develop feelings, she would get a sense of approval. Obviously, this would all be subconscious, not planned.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

^^Good point, but I think it is planned. There's too many conscious actions that have to happen. You throw the word, obviously, around rather frequently. Then again, I guess I throw cunt around...but I'm accurate with it.

[Ugly_Swan]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL if someone has to take the time to say something self-explanatory about their actions, it ain't true: It's ok, I forgive you for your inaccurate insult.

The omitting of telling him about the BF is planned, yes, I meant specifically her motives--like I bet she was in denial about her being in the wrong or wanting his approval/an ego boost.

[RobertWQ]

Haven't had more than a minute to think about this reply -- I think she did like you so she wanted to at least see if she can get you to like her back! Even if she wouldn't leave her BF; by omitting that fact and getting you to develop feelings, she would get a sense of approval. Obviously, this would all be subconscious, not planned.

That's kind of what I think too. I mean, her email (somewhat lengthy) to me at the beginning of the semester said she wanted to "prove" that she could do her fair share of the work, and wanted to earn an A "not just because of your (me) hard work, but mine as well."

Perhaps she wanted to prove something else as well.


Anyway she put a lot of work in to do this. I mean she's always doing stuff like touching me / we touch when we're in lab when there's no reason to (don't touch the other female lab partner); I told her I liked her handwriting, and the next class she took my lab notebook and recorded all our data in her handwriting (she didn't have to do that). Big smiles and all that. Stuff I'd usually attribute to a girl who likes me ... but there's always been some distance as well (like it doesn't progress past the flirtation stage) and that's probably due to her boyfriend.

So if she was seeking validation, well, happy to help! Now it's time to find someone who actually likes me and has clear, genuine, and unambiguous intent.

[Ugly_Swan]

That's kind of what I think too. I mean, her email (somewhat lengthy) to me at the beginning of the semester said she wanted to "prove" that she could do her fair share of the work, and wanted to earn an A "not just because of your (me) hard work, but mine as well."

Perhaps she wanted to prove something else as well.


Anyway she put a lot of work in to do this. Well, happy to help! Now it's time to find someone who actually likes me and has clear, genuine, and unambiguous intent.

Well, who knows, maybe she did want to prove to herself or classmate that she can do the work.

But in terms of the flirtatiousness, for all I know, she could've been trying to get you to "poach" her away from her BF. Just because a girl is with a guy officially does not mean she sees him as a forever-thing--maybe she wanted an upgrade lol. (not all girls do this, etc. but it does happen)

[RobertWQ]

I kind of thought that might be what could be going on also. Usually I would not want to even get involved with a girl who has a boyfriend (but still has yet to tell me this) ... but at the same time she has the right to date whomever she wants. I still think this is a silly thing for me to be focusing on at this point, because regardless of her intent, as I've said, while I'm typing about her, she's got her boyfriend's c*ck in her mouth ...

And I still feel (based on her email frequency, but not as much on her willingness to spend time with me, which seems relatively eager and consistent), that I'm kind of an afterthought or not first priority.


And (because I like analyzing people too) side thought: She likes the game League of Legends. In this game, you fight through the opposition's defenses and obstacles, all the way to their "Nexus," at which point they destroy the Nexus to achieve victory.


It's felt a little bit like that perhaps ... that she was working her way into my affections ... but why? Oh well. It's all vapor, talk and speculation until it becomes something real.