How can I get my Ex Girlfriend back?

[Deaddreamer]

How can I get my Ex Girlfriend back?

Long story but I will keep it as short a possible.

Me and my Ex girlfriend where together for 11 months in total. My love for her was so un real, she is the most beautiful girl I've ever met, yet so amazingly wonderful and thoughtful on the inside too. We had a very honest,loving and caring relationship and we're quite sexually active.

towards the last 2-3 months before we broke up it started to go down hill. She told me that the spark from our relationship had gone. I was quite upset, but not to angry. I wasn't sure why she'd think this but eventually After trying so hard to work things out I realised she wasn't as happy as we where before. We had many discussions about ending, but in late August 2013 we mutually decided to call it quits.

I wasn't too angry at the time, just mainly disappointed but it didn't seem to affect my life as much as I thought it would.

We briefly met up a week after this for some casual sex (or final sex as It felt like).
After this I realised we'd have to take things a bit more seriously from now on.

We'd continue hanging out as friends, but for some reason it started to get a bit painful after the first month. I started to miss her very much. I missed our relationship as well as being close to someone. Generally I didn't feel good about myself.

After about 2 months of us being apart I went along with her and a few of our mutual friends to a night club. I was slightly worried about what she'd do that night so my mind wasn't quite right. I got really hammered because I felt it would make me feel better (in the end it didn't) I ended up making out with a random girl which I regretted quite a lot. I then told her what I did at the club and she replied "It's not a big deal, I had sex with a guy last night" This immediately made me upset so I left the night club as I wasn't feeling too great.

After this, we didn't speak for about 3 or 4 weeks. We apologised to each other and made up shortly after. I told her I forgave her and she felt a little bad about it.
I then asked if she wanted to go out for coffee on the weekend to catch up. She then reluctantly replied and we agreed on a date. A few days before our date, I got very late (fairly drunken) phone call from her asking to meet up and have sex at her place. Out of impulse I said yes, and ran to her house at 12 at night.

After sex we talked about old times and we both genuinely felt really happy about ourselves. We told each other we missed each other but I don't think she was a fan of us getting back together. We met up a few days after for coffee and spoke about what we did. We both felt rather confused and didn't know if we should of regretted doing what we did. It felt so right at the time, but I don't want it to hurt her.

My question is, I really miss this girl and want her back in my life. Is there anyway I can pursued her to start things fresh without sounding desperate? It's been 3 months now since we ended and I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to any of my previous relationships. Many thanks.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell her not to contact you anymore unless she wants to be in a relationship again. You could also casually bang her while seeing other girls until she asks you. Focusing solely on her, like you are doing now, is not going to get you where you want to be.

[Cerby]

Tell her not to contact you anymore unless she wants to be in a relationship again. You could also casually bang her while seeing other girls until she asks you. Focusing solely on her, like you are doing now, is not going to get you where you want to be.

Rare reasonable advice from backup, worth following for sure.

[Go4it]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like she wants to get back together with you. You mentioned she was reluctant to get coffee with you, and I wouldn't take the drunken get together too seriously - she was lonely and she knew you would come over. If you want a relationship with her, you've got to tell her that's what you want and quit muddling things up. Going back and forth as friends / lovers is going to be too confusing and get you no where.

[pcmaster]

She wants sex and see you as object. Might be she started to cheat way earlier. Anyway shes broken and cant love you the same way you do. Dont sleep with her it will make you only more upsed and used. Ofcourse she needs a dick and its not a big deal for her who it is. She feels uncomfortable having relationship cause thats not in her heart. Shes at the stage now when everything is free and everything is fast. You been dating slut obiously. This girl obiously wants to be free.

Be more confident and decisive. If you decide something then stick to it. It will make others and yourself respect you more. Know what you want and go for it. Having higher standarts will attract better girls but being forgiving and settling for less will get you more troubled girls like this one.

If you want to move on then

loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup

[4 ratties]

Get std tested unless u used a condom cuz who knows what that club guy might have.

You can't make her get back with you and it doesn't sound like she wants to at all. She could have u if she wanted but she doesn't. Sounds like she just uses guys for sex. Sure sex is fun but each time you give in, it will hurt u more. U already seem desperate rushing over there at her beckon call in the middle of the night. Why not quit wasting your time with this girl and find a girl you can have a future with?

[4 ratties]

You said "been together 11 months in total" does that mean u were off and on? That's a red flag right there that this relationship isn't meant to be

[michelle23]

Move on and get over her

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[Deaddreamer]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I'm thinking of just straight up asking her how I feel about the situation.

I'd like to know the honest truth about what she feels too, I may meet up with her or talk on the phone about this

We with each other for 11 months with no breakups by the way, I'm 100% sure she didn't cheat on me, we had a very honest relationship.

And FYI, the guy used protection, I asked her. She's completely clean and on birth control tablets. - We still have trust.

So yeah, I think honesty is the best thing, she deserves to know the truth. If she doesn't like it then I'll have to move on.
I know I probably made a bigger deal than it is, but for some guys like me, it's hard to get over something as amazing as she is.

[pcmaster]

Best you can do is find amazing things in yourself. Love yourself and know your worth.

[reneezillweggar]

it depends if your ex still loves you or what.

[TurnBackTime]

Sounds like a mess and trust is certainly going to be an issue with the situation you are in.

At this stage you will need to wear your heart on the sleeve, you will have to form that trust again if you ever want to move forward. Be honest and approach her and say that you want to be exclusive, if she turns that down you know you have to move on. Sure, if you get hard up you can have sex with her, why not? Just search elsewhere for love in the meanwhile.