Where to meet new people?

[Mae]

I've been single for a few months now and I'm more than ready to get back out on the dating scene. As my last relationship began in high school, I'm not quite sure where to start. I'm 21, so I'm able to go to bars, but the ones around aren't really my style and I have no one to go with. I go to a community college, due to limited finances, where the students that are actually near my age are typically already in relationships. I also work at a grocery store 25-30 hours a week, so the hours I can spend out and about are limited.

I'd like to think of myself as fairly intelligent and good-looking, as well as having a nice personality. I'd like to have more than a physical relationship, one where I could actually have intelligent and interesting conversations. Most guys my age that I have run across either already have families or are too absorbed in their video games to have anything else to talk about.

Any suggestions?

[Kromat83]

meetup.com is always a good site to head for like minded people.

[horsetheman]

Check out the dating sites and apps. There are plenty ones that dont cost money. I have used Okcupid, and I've met a few people. Of course you will have to weed through some people to find a good person. Theres no shame in it though.

[michelle23]

Join a hobby. You might meet someone with a common interest.

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[Mae]

Thanks for the suggestions. I set up an OkCupid account and am already getting messages. Meetup.com isn't really a great option for me, since I live in a small community and don't much have the funds or opportunity to travel to even the closest groups, but it was still a great suggestion.

[HDBadger]

How good are you at just striking up conversations with people? I've met interesting women in book shops and the like just by saying, "Hey, what's that you're reading?"

The key to this, though, is you must have open body language and look approachable. If you have that, guys will probably talk to you.

Again, this will only work if you can smile and can hold a conversation. There have been hundreds of pretty women I've seen who I didn't approach because they looked mean, bitchy, or cold. No one is going to talk to someone who looks like he or she doesn't want to be talked to.

[michelle23]

Id stay away from dating sites if i were you. Trying to find someobe decent is like looking for a needle in a haystack plus you could easily get roped into some stupid online fantasy relationship with a guy that lives too far away to date in real life.

If your serious about online dating though then here is some tips. Ive never been on a dating site but ive learned a few things from reading other peoples stories

1. Its better to pay for a good dating site-youll meet more serious people not just looking for sex etc

2. Ignore anyone who isnt within a 30-40 mile radius. Long distance doesnt work

3. Talk to loads of different guys. Dont put all your attention on just one

4. Dont spend more than 3 days talking to a guy. Arrange a date asap and if he isnt up to scratch say NEXT

5. You kinda need to treat it like an interview process

6. Meet only in a public place, dont get in his car or go anywhere alone with him.

7. Have a rule: no sexual contact at all until your sure he can be trusted. Go real slow

Good luck


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[Skeptical]

I would say meetup. com


Stay away from dating websites, it is full of weirdos! If you insist, go for paid websites, the more expensive, the better.

[DalM0m]

There are lots of ways to meet people.

1. Look around in class.

2. Meetup.com & OLD

3. join a club at school

4. Keep your eyes open at work but since you are in a service industry you may have to make the 1st move b/c the guy will otherwise think you are just being nice because it's your job

5. tell friends & family you are open to being set up

6. change your routine -- get your morning coffee somewhere new & see who's there

7. go speed dating

8. attend a singles event in your area; many cater to specific interests. I went to one called Leashes & Lovers because I got to bring my dog. There are ones that play golf, drink beer, taste wine, go skiing, run, etc.

9. Look around at the gym

10. Study in "public" places like the library, the student union, Starbucks etc.

[HeartIsAching]

Bars are a bad place to meet potential mates... sorry, but it's just true.

Michelle's suggestion was the best one. Pursue your hobbies in social settings.