Would you care if a girl told you how she feels after you played her?

[Rowen]

Actually, I'm in favor of being brutally honest with him.

But here's the catch to my support:
1. You can't expect him to change his mind and come back.
2. You have to be prepared that he won't care and not let him persuade you that you're wrong.

I say this because, if you can follow those two emotional rules when being honest with him, you can get the closure you sometimes need. You can walk away knowing that you voiced how you feel and then can successfully let go of that situation as a whole, making yourself a little more ready to move on.

But this can also backfire if you don't follow those two emotional rules. If you let him persuade you that you're wrong, like I have done in the past with some guys, it'll make you feel worse. And if you care what he thinks, then you're doomed from the start because you won't really be brutally honest. You'll just sugar coat it and hope he understands. And if you think to yourself maybe he'll come back after it, after thinking long and hard about how he did you wrong, you're also doomed because that does not put an end to the story. Instead, your heart feels like it's not over.

In short: It's tricky, but it can give you closure. You just have to remember that it's over entirely.

[pcmaster]

Elizabeth your too inexpierienced and inocent for your own good. Once you will be able to call a guy asshole you will be able to move on. It was more about sex than you think. While you are being all emotional and sensitive guy just satisfied his basic instict and didnt even felt you in his heart. What was big thing to you was nothing unusual to him.

I watched interesting video today. Maybe it will help you understand better what happened.

[ElizabethB]

Elizabeth your too inexpierienced and inocent for your own good. Once you will be able to call a guy asshole you will be able to move on. It was more about sex than you think. While you are being all emotional and sensitive guy just satisfied his basic instict and didnt even felt you in his heart. What was big thing to you was nothing unusual to him.

I watched interesting video today. Maybe it will help you understand better what happened.

Thanks for video! I honestly feel like throw up. I mean... Seriously??? Two "assholes"!
I can't have sex without feelings for that person. I am wired differently than guys but I wonder if all those girls were ok with that. One night stand - bang - I am over it. But I see your point - for them it is different story.

You are very right about this one: What was big thing to you was nothing unusual to him. Just sad...

[basilandthyme]

If you tell him that you're hurt because he pushed you an disregarded your boundaries, he will apologise and say it won't happen again. And then he'll push himself onto you the very next time he sees you.

How do I know this? Because this is exactly what he did after you previously told him that he was rushing things. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

[Rodeoclown]

I agree with HDBadger. You can tell him the truth, but there is always the possibility that he will not care and you have to be prepared for that. From your previous post, that sounds like a classic case of sexual assault, so I would say you should keep your distance from this guy. If you were clearly pushing him away and denying certain things, he should have had more respect for you. I know it probably does not seem clear in your head right now, but it will with time. I would really like to caution you that you should not be TOO forgiving of his actions as actions speak louder than words. Do not blame yourself for it because it is really not your fault. No one has to agree to anything or let anyone do anything to them that they are not comfortable with no matter what you said or did beforehand. When you say that all you can see is how sweet he was to you, it is a red flag to me because it sounds like you are trying to lessen the impact of what he did to you and the hurt that you felt from it as a coping mechanism. However, if you felt wrong about it, trust your instincts. All of the sweet words in the world won't make up for wrongful treatment. Abusers will often use compliments and kind words to manipulate people. Be very careful of that. A healthy relationship needs trust and respect. If you feel that you don't fully trust him with your body and mind or that he does not respect you, then do not pursue the relationship any further.

[ElizabethB]

Thank you! I need time to process everything what happened. Hopefully I will see clearly soon. And then..who knows? Maybe I will be able to use a word "asshole" on him. Right, PcMaster? I am starting to read self-help book about loving myself. I think it will help me a lot.

[Rodeoclown]

That's good. I hope you find someone who loves you just for exactly who you are and deserves you.

[violet11]

Well, not sure if this is cold to you but it is for me... I was just going to tell him that what happened between us was something I was not ready for and he knew it. Also, that I was honest with him about everything including not sleeping around. That I really liked him. And that's all I have so far.

i can gaurantee that if you send him this message he wont reply and you'll feel ever worse. Don't put yourself out there for him any more. If you really want to get at him - ignore him completely. Ignoring someone is the worst insult

[ElizabethB]

I know I would feel even worse. I feel bad now for not hearing from him at all. Is it going to stop anytime soon? When I think about writing him, I fear of no reply but that way I can at least tell him I was not ready to sleep with him and he knew it. I don't want him to think it was ok and and we were on same page. I talked to my therapist and he said that he was selfish for not listening to me when I said stop. He simply did not respect what I kept telling him this whole time and I was plain naive when I did not leave his care and gave in. It is just bad no matter how I look at it. It makes me feel so cheap.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't get it. You kissed a little and he put your hand on his cock. Next time, leave the situation if you're uncomfortable. Otherwise, you're making a mountain out of a molehill..get over it.

[ElizabethB]

You didn't read how end of the story. There was a lot more than that.

[Skeptical]

There is a huge possibility that he doesn't give a damn about what you have to say or how you felt. He sounds like a jerk, and probably he is one of those guys who are online for the sole purpose of getting laid. He did not respect you when he pulled out his penis out of no where.

[ElizabethB]

Yes, he did not. I thought I won't hear from him ever again but he actually wrote me on FB. He told me how much he misses me and wants to see me again...Sweet as always and then 5 minutes later asked for sexy pics. Fun, fun! I hope that time will heal everything soon.

[basilandthyme]

Elizabeth, please tell me you've now unfriended him.

[!Joe264!]

Let me tell you from the heart…

I have played girls before…and I didn´t care…as you said..you have been played…My girlfriend has been played in the past: she was going out with some guys that she actually thought they were her friends ( or maybe she thought she might find a boyfriend in one of them). After I started dating her…she tried to introduce me to those guys and then I asked how did she met them…she told the whole thing. I told her those guys are NOT her friend and they just want to keep her around to mess with her because they were playing with her, so let them go.

If the guy played you, forget it….he will play will every time because, and I will be very honest here( please don´t take it personal) guys, in most cases, don´t care and will not have any relationship with a girl they played. So let it go. If he realizes what you are felling he will use that against you to play you again. So forget about him.

Let´s us know…

Good luck