Would you care if a girl told you how she feels after you played her?

[ElizabethB]

This is the same guy I wrote about before. http://www.loveforum.net/threads/85512-Is-groping-heavy-kissing-normal-for-a-first-date

I can't get him out of my head. All I can see is how sweet he was too me. It is like I push all negatives away and it hurts. I keep blaming myself for everything. The more I think about him, the more it hurts. But I want to tell him so bad few things. I want to tell him that I was not ready for what happened between us and he knew that. Also, that I am not girl who sleeps around. Otherwise he would not be second man in my life.
He kept in touch with me through texts last weekend. Since that nothing. I wrote him on Facebook and he did not even read it. Then I said if he does not want to talk to me anymore, he can be honest with him. After that I got my reply asking how my day is.
I am so confused about everything. I wish what he told me was real but I keep doubt everything because his actions don't match his words. It hurts very bad and that's why I want to tell him how I feel about it. Would it look desperate? Or can I be honest with him?

[HDBadger]

Sure, you can be honest with him.

But here's the thing: There's a very good chance he might not care what you think, or you might not get the response you are hoping for.

How will you feel if that happens?

[michelle23]

Dont be nice to him and dont be all mellow dramatic saying your "hurt". That will give him satisfaction. The guy is an asshole. You need to hit him where it hurts. "I hope i never hear from you again coz youve a small dick, your shit in bed and your breath smells.. nice knowing ya but dont contact me again"

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[ElizabethB]

Dont be nice to him and dont be all mellow dramatic saying your "hurt". That will give him satisfaction. The guy is an asshole. You need to hit him where it hurts. "I hope i never hear from you again coz youve a small dick, your shit in bed and your breath smells.. nice knowing ya but dont contact me again"

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Thanks, Michelle23! You made me laugh... But honestly, even thought I would love to say it all, I can't. That's not me... But I was not planning on being mellow dramatic. More cold I think.

[michelle23]

Cold works too. I was ice cold with my ex after the bastard cheated and i know it hurt him more than if i screamed and shouted or threw pots at his head.. what are you planning to say?

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[ElizabethB]

HDBadger, I will feel worse probably. The thing is - I already feel miserable. There are moments when I admit he was just using me and was not worth it. Too good to be truth. But then I start thinking about how sweet and charming he was and all logic is gone.

Sure, you can be honest with him.

But here's the thing: There's a very good chance he might not care what you think, or you might not get the response you are hoping for.

How will you feel if that happens?

[michelle23]

Hun he was only being sweet and charming to get in your pants. It was an act and fake. You know that now so dont make excuses for him

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[ElizabethB]

Well, not sure if this is cold to you but it is for me... I was just going to tell him that what happened between us was something I was not ready for and he knew it. Also, that I was honest with him about everything including not sleeping around. That I really liked him. And that's all I have so far.

[HDBadger]

HDBadger, I will feel worse probably. The thing is - I already feel miserable. There are moments when I admit he was just using me and was not worth it. Too good to be truth. But then I start thinking about how sweet and charming he was and all logic is gone.

That's what I was worried about. I'm all for you taking (legal) action to help you feel better, but this guy might not care about your honesty/harsh words/coldness. From the sound of him, he probably doesn't.

I mean if you express the fact that you're really hurt, or tell him he sucked in bed, I can totally see him saying, "So? I don't care." Or just not responding at all.

Then you're the one who looks and feels bad, not him. I want you to feel better, it just seems that it needs to come from inside you, not through this guy.

[HDBadger]

To add: If you want to say something - anything - to him, you must be prepared for the possibility that you actually end up hurting more, not less.

[michelle23]

Well, not sure if this is cold to you but it is for me... I was just going to tell him that what happened between us was something I was not ready for and he knew it. Also, that I was honest with him about everything including not sleeping around. That I really liked him. And that's all I have so far.

I dont think this is a good idea tbh. This guy is not gonna care how you feel. The next time hes in town hell just try to fill you up with sweet words again so he can hurt and use you again. Its better to forget about him, block him and try to heal.

If you want to contact him say something like "you crossed a line with me, you knew i didnt want to sleep with you and you forced me. I feel sick about this and i know you dont care but i think you should know what you did was wrong and i dont want to hear from you again"

It may also be a good way to get him to admit what he did so you have proof if you want to go to the police about this. He assaulted you and he shouldnt just get away with it

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[christianivan]

I think I would be really concerned.

[ElizabethB]

I think I would be really concerned.

Not sure if you are being sarcastic or you really mean it.

[ElizabethB]

I dont think this is a good idea tbh. This guy is not gonna care how you feel. The next time hes in town hell just try to fill you up with sweet words again so he can hurt and use you again. Its better to forget about him, block him and try to heal.

If you want to contact him say something like "you crossed a line with me, you knew i didnt want to sleep with you and you forced me. I feel sick about this and i know you dont care but i think you should know what you did was wrong and i dont want to hear from you again"

It may also be a good way to get him to admit what he did so you have proof if you want to go to the police about this. He assaulted you and he shouldnt just get away with it

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I like what you said, Michelle. But it will take time until I get there. Hopefully I will!

[Valixy]

I agree with all the advice given above.

Just wanted to add that I think you should try to accept that he simply isn't who you thought he was and needed him to be. Try to control those feelings that are misleading you.

When you'll meet a nice guy who'll be seriously interested in getting to know you, taking his time to build a relationship and showering you with love and attention, you'll be able to see just how poor was this guy who had nothing to offer.