Same Old Story, Boy Meets Girl, All Goes Well, Then Radio Silence. Any Ideas?!

[LadyDedlock]

Hello Everyone,

I was hoping for some perspective on the following.

So, to be brief... I met this guy on a dating site, a friend of mine decided this would be a good gift for me, odd since i am really not very good at it, and am the sort to never reply back to messages, etc. I suppose because the sub was gifted to me, i was also not as invested as i'd be had it been my choice to sign up.

Anyway, i began speaking to this guy in August, and for a time i ignored him. Eventually i did write him, but then went on holiday for sometime and when i returned procrastinated on writing him back, and figured he'd by then lost interest and had most likely met someone else on the site.

However, he did contact me again and i took this as a hint. We exchanged numbers and spoke for about a week or two via text and then he asked me out for a drink.

The first date went very well... we chatted very naturally throughout the night (nearly 5 hours) and though he did not kiss me goodnight he did ask me right there and then whether i'd like to go out again, to which i said yes.

We went on second date, and it was just as easy as the first. Despite my being sick with a cold, i ventured out and he showed me around where he grew up and capped the night with another drink/etc.

Again, he did not kiss me goodnight, but we were in plain sight in busy streets for most of the time, so i suppose this was a factor, (or of course, my being sick, lol). Also he was tremendously shy, from what i gathered.

Any how, despite him not being as tall as i'd like, lol, the second date confirmed that i really quite fancied him and greatly enjoyed his company.

We spoke the next couple of days and then i figured i should be the one to ask him out again this time and so, i did, to which he agreed. I had intended to tell him how much liked him etc, at this third outing, which i didn't feel that it would be too quick as we had been out a few times by then. And so, I attempted to set up third date and asked if he had any plans that weekend and he said he did, was going to a concert with his brother, (he made a point of saying it was with his brother).

That week our chats via text seemed to be waning a bit but we were slightly getting back to our comfortable chatting towards the end of the week. I spent the entire day he was to go on his concert without sending him a message, i suppose to see if he was still interested or not and he did end up by sending me images from the concert and we chatted a bit.

The next afternoon i sent a him a text, we generally spoke at least once a day, sort of checking in, and that was the last of him. He never responded.

The whole ordeal was very confusing for me. On one end i went into our first date not expecting much, and really having low expectations. I am generally a very blunt and upfront person and i was during our first date and he seemed amused by this and per what he told me not put off at all. We touched on subjects that generally i'd never discuss on first dates, etc and despite all of this he did ask me on another night out right there and then. Also, he mentioned his attraction for me on more than one occasion, so it's not as if all the elements of a budding relationship weren't there, which was another thing we discussed and he appeared to be looking for some sort of commitment as he mentioned both of his younger siblings were paired off with good mates and he was in search of his.

He also talked about having two relationships that generated from the dating site, though he was quite reluctant to go into details on why they did not last, etc. and he seemed to be quite the advocate for online dating, etc.

Anyway, i'm just utterly confused as to what happened. I do have some inkling of what it may/may not have been. I can only imagine that he met someone else on the site, and obviously this person offered something that i did not. I get it. That's the nature of dating and i was quite aware he would be dating other women. But why not simply say... "It was great to meet ya, but no thanks?!"

I suppose this would be too much to ask of men, but being an honest and upfront human being on all facets of my life, i sometimes expect the same from others, which of course is not always the case.

I suppose i'd just like some insight on what you think may have happened or if you've experienced something of the same sort in the past, etc.

I wish i had never agreed to a second date, as that was when i really began to like him. And the worst part in all of this is that i have been thinking about him quite a bit lately and am debating whether to contact him, however, i am of course reluctant as my self-worth does not let me do this... i just don't want to be ignored again as last time.

Any ideas?!

Many thanks in advance!
LadyDedlock

P.S. This wasn't brief at all, eh?! Sorry...lol

[smackie9]

What's wrong with you contacting him again? It's possible he didn't get your message. If you wish to see him again tell him....call him don't text! If you get the button just write him off and stop worrying about what happened.....welcome to the wonderful world of dating.

[basilandthyme]

I suppose this would be too much to ask of men, but being an honest and upfront human being on all facets of my life, i sometimes expect the same from others, which of course is not always the case.

Who are you tying to kid? Your initial treatment of him was NOT honest and upfront: you ignored him and procrastinated.

If you rudely ignore a person, it will come back and bite you on the arse. Karma is an amazing thing.

[Go4it]

It does sound like he is blowing you off if you talked to each other every day and you haven't heard a word from him. I don't think either of you were taking the other very seriously anyway. You ignored him in the beginning. He had two dates with you and didn't try to kiss you. If he was really interested he would call/text. Just move on.