Is it just for sex?

[shaaane1503]

So, I've tried to keep it a short as possible but failed
I just thought the more details the easier for those who actually read all of it

Anyway - I've been going to this accountancy course and there I met a bunch of new people who I now spend my time with during the brakes
and we help each other out with "homework" and we're all getting along fine.

Then I started to notice him. I'll just call him M. He was always nice to me, always smiled at me, talked to me,...
So, I got interested in him - there was a bit of flirting going on and we started texting on facebook in the evenings...

He asked me a couple of time's if I wanted to go out with him and some others out of our class - but every time he asked I couldn't...
On the day our teacher was sick (which was last week thursday) he asked me again if I wanted to come and hang out...
Because I had time I said yes.
He came to my house and picked me up and we went to his friends house where another guy A. out of my class was.
We had a had a beer and then we decided to go bowling.
It was really fun - I was losing but no matter - we were talking all the time (I normally have trouble talking to people) and then M all of a sudden said "oh guess who I am working with"
and it turns out that he is working with a guy I used to have a crush on years ago. And somehow M knew that I used to have this crush on this other guy.
Anyway we were talking about me having that crush and the I said "I don't know why he didn't know that I had a crush on him - I make it quite obvious"
and the I looked at M and he was kind of staring at me - he was looking deep into my eyes... and I don't know why but I looked away...
and the the evening just went on without anything happening...

So the day after (friday) we had made plans again to meet up. He picked me up again and we went to this meeting point where all of his friends hang out.
We were talking, listening to music and drinking...
I feel very ashamed of this - I had waaaay to much to drink and got completely sh*t faced and can't remember a lot after that...

What I do remember is talking to him about Avicii, playing with his phone, moving closer to him, so we were nearly cuddling and drinking that last glass of whiskey that I should not have drunk because after that I only remember these flashes:
- kissing him
- sitting onto of him (I think)
- walking around with him, while he kept telling me to be quiet
- being REALLY cold
- talking to him about condoms
- him on top of me with no clothes
- not being able to do something "to" him (that probably belongs in the "intimate" section)
- standing in front of his bed where he asked me if I wanted to sleep in my clothes
- putting on his t-shirt
- having a Tarzan moment with him (the hands touching moment)
- him telling me that I am the first in a long time he is cuddling with because he normally doesn't do that
- and the actual cuddling

Then it was the next morning - he wanted to stay in bed with me but I had to go to work.
So we got dressed and he drove me home where he told me that we had sex.
I do not remember this :/ only those flashes but I knew he was telling the truth because of a) the flashes and b) I was so sore "down there" - and that only ever happens to me after my spinning class and sex.

He wrote me in evening again and on sunday again asking me if I wanted to got to the Christmas market. I couldn't and to be honest I was feeling a bit weird about the whole situation...
In school he and the others were completely normal - which was good.
After school we all went to some of his friends again where we watched some tv - after that, when we went our separate ways he kissed me in front of his friends.

But yesterday we were chatting and the he said that tomorrow (so today) after school we could have sex in my car!!!
In my car???
Now I think he is just looking for sex...
But I have only ever had bad experience with guys so I am generally a negative person about these things...

So, I don't know what to do - do I just let it unroll and have fun along the way (i.e. scratch an itch) or do I stop it or do I talk to him about it?

[blutifuldoll]

Lol this has happened to me once and I felt awful, after that experience I cut down my alcohol intake, alcohol just makes one horny, So after i did it with this guy I completely ignored him tho he kept inviting me for sleep overs. You had sex with him while drunk and he kinda views you as a loose girl otherwise he wouldn't be asking to do it in your car!!! Your car!!!! That's just another level of disrespect, so yeah it's just about sex. You could text him and say "Hey M, what happened the other day was a mistake, I was drunk and don't remember half of what we did, I don't know how you view me but I really don't want to have sex with you again, (or do you? ) let alone wanting to have sex in my car, i think you are being disrespectful"

[michelle23]

I think he took advantage tbh. You were waaayyy too drunk and he should have put you to bed and left you the f alone! And whats up with him saying "your lucky he wants to cuddle you coz he normally doesnt after sex" he sounds like a dog. Stay away from him

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[Dr-Love]

i agree with michelle. it was clear to me and most likely to him you were out of it, yet he had sex with you. He DEFINITELY took advantage of you. that being said the fact that things were normal the next day at school means he didn't tell his friends or bragged about it or if he did they pretended not to know. I also agree you should stay away from him but if you are not willing to do that at least stay away from the drinking and get to know him better and definitely dont have sex in his car..its tacky. hope i helped
Dr-Love

[dickriculous]

Disagree about him "taking advantage of you". You were both drinking so it's not like your inhibitions were lowered and his weren't. Also, you are responsible for literally everything else in the world that you do when you're drunk. Since I don't consider sex to be so unearthly and inhuman that it deserves special exemption from basic rules of life that apply to everything else in the world, I'm going to say he didn't "take advantage of you" at all.

It does, however, sound like he wants sex more than anything so if you're thinking you can bone your way into a long term relationship with him you might want to rethink that.

[michelle23]

Dick he was obviously a LOT more sober then she was. He knew what he was doing. She was in a black out.

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[dickriculous]

We don't know how drunk he was until OP specifies. Besides, if I get black out drunk and do literally ANYTHING I am still responsible for what I do. Sex is a concrete thing just like everything else. There is nothing mythic about it, there's nothing unearthly about it. If a basic rule of life applies to literally EVERYTHING else then it also applies to sex, and the basic rule of life here is that if you are drunk you are still responsible for the choices you make and the actions you take. I get that this doesn't coincide with everyone's moral compass, nor does it coincide with every area of the world's laws. I'm speaking purely on logic here.

Women having sex isn't elevated above everything else to where it should be held exclusively in this light that refuses to shine on anything else in the universe. I don't believe in putting the pussy on that kind of a pedestal - women are people, not Goddesses.