Need some advice

[Ike625]

Me and My GF have been dating for over a year and a half, we are reaching our mid 20's now. The reason i am here posting is because our relationship is becoming a long distance relationship because of the military. Recently she has just graduated from the U.S. Air Force Basic Training and now is heading to Tech School. Her unit she will go to is also out of state. Also, i am about to join the U.S. Army, and my AIT for my MOS is 54 weeks.

I do not like long distance relationships, because i was once engaged my first years in college. We had selected different schools, and tried the long distance. She ended up cheating on me and i was devastated. I went through a major depression.

I find myself thinking about this, since i have truly fallen for my current GF. I do trust her and love her completely. I am just unsure about us, and knowing this Christmas could be the last time i get to be with her for a year. We will be able to talk with pphones, skype, etc. I know i need to talk to her this Christmas when i see her, but i'm not sure how. I don't want her to know how worried i really am, and i don't want her to worry. So any advice on talking to her would be very appreciated.

The gift i am getting her for christmas is a really nice locket (which she knows about) and i was going to get it engraved with the word "Always" which will go with a poem i am writing for her named "Always". She doesn't know about the poem or engraving. It will be the nicest gift i have gotten her. We are actually going to jewelry stores to find one.

Another thing i have thought about is maybe asking her to marry me. Not at Christmas, but when i graduate from Basic Training, which will be sometime in June/July. It depends on what we talk about over Christmas.

Any advice or comments would be much appreciated.

P.S. Sorry for not putting a better title on this post. not exactly the best person to put words on paper

[basilandthyme]

The cheating thing you experienced last time is par for course when it comes to long distance. It's very difficult to meet someone's needs for companionship when you're not there with them.

What will happen after this period of separation is over? Will you both continue to be deployed in different places with little time together? If so, is there really any point in getting married at all? Propose marriage to your girlfriend if you want, but do be aware that being engaged won't stop her from cheating if she has a mind to.

Sorry I can't be more positive - it's just that I can't see the point in being long distance. And frankly, if I was in the same situation it's almost a given that I'd end up in the arms of another.

[TablesandChairs]

Don't get engaged purely because you don't want to lose her; get engaged because this is the person you want to spend forever with.

Aside from that - yes, you guys will be separated for a long time. Only you two know whether your bond is strong enough to withstand the distance. It can work...but it depends on how you handle missing each other and what your future plans are. If it's a once off thing, sure. If it keeps happening (as in, if one of you is going to be away often), then I'm not sure if a relationship with anyone could work out.

[Ike625]

I do not fear her cheating on me. I trust her completely. i fear losing her.

I have been thinking about proposing to her before either of us decided on joining the military, but you are right. maybe i am wanting to propose sooner because of the thought of losing her. i guess i didnt think of that. i know i would be happy to spend forever with her.

she is in reserves and i am in the Army national guard (which is a lot like reserves). and we do plan to finish school at the same college. we both only have 1 year left.

i will somehow find the courage to talk to her about all this. I don't want to lose her or let her go, but I won't stop her either. It is her decision to make. Her happiness is more important than my own.

So i guess the new question is when do i talk to her and what do i say? Do we talk before our date or after? (which includes the gift).

[PatriciaQT]

Wow cheating is never cool!

That realy sucks man.

I was at this erotic trade show in London a couple of weeks back and I saw a stand outside the Erotica Tradeshow, they Had this online society called Kiiroo.

It was a realy nifty platform and it came with sexy gadgets too.

Basicaly you could open a video chat in HD with your partner full screen. And then through the wireless gadget you can touch eachother in realtime over any distance.
It looked like it could realy boost intimacy in a long distance relationship.

It was a cool black His and Hers set, made of a beautiful dark smooth and warm plastic.
The box it came in was verry sleek also.
It even had red LED lights on it and the sex toys had touch capacitive surface.

I have never seen such a thing before. maybe you can check out http://Kiiroo.com and see if its something for you and your gf.

Seems much more fun than skyping and not being able to touch eachother.

[TablesandChairs]

If you want to spend forever with her anyway, then there's no harm in getting engaged really. Maybe approach the subject with her? I guess it might be easier to tolerate the year apart knowing you've got something committed to wait for.

[Boisdevie]

I was at this erotic trade show in London a couple of weeks back and I saw a stand outside the Erotica Tradeshow, they Had this online society called Kiiroo.

It was a realy nifty platform and it came with sexy gadgets too.
Basicaly you could open a video chat in HD with your partner full screen. And then through the wireless gadget you can touch eachother in realtime over any distance.

I'm a bit old fashioned. I prefer a skin on skin kind of ****. The kind that you get when you're not a gazillion ****ing miles from each other in some stupid waste of time LDR.

[DalM0m]

The military has a whole host of counselors you can talk to about the separation that accompanies service. Since you two are in different branches your career paths guarantee you will spend more time apart then together for at least the next 5 years. You will need some help dealing with that.

Good luck.