Dating someone "out of my league" appearence wise

[cuddler]

Okay, here goes...Let me start by saying I'm not over 6 foot, am not rich and all those superficial things that some girls go for. I'm "average Joe" dating an extremely attractive girl and who also has a brain. I'm someone say on those dating sites that was never approached cause they are based on looks. You can say I sell myself in person and have a good personality which contrary to popular belief works...

Anyways, I've only had like 6 relationships. I'm 35 and I don't wanna blow this one and see a future with her. We enjoy quality one on one time just in the house and don't feel the need to go out either which is great(especially on my wallet)--she has passed some huge tests for me where I'm almost trusting her 100%...I've been burned in previous relationships like anyone else...why, because nice guys usually end last and have hearts broken...

So as far as I know, she has not communicated over the phone in last 2 months with any other guy...yes, I checked her phone...so she is not foolin around with anyone else. We have verbally stated we only have eyes for each other and are officially gf/bf( I know that sounds teenager'ish)...here's my problem, when I ask her how her day went when I am not with her, she is always approached by other guys. For ex. I picked her up at a meeting and outside I see 3 guys talking to her outside smoking. She comes in car and I crack jokes like "how many of them gave you their number" or "what was the worst pick up line they said to you"...we both laugh but inside me is being over protective and yes that whole trust thing...

In public like say food shopping and she goes down one aisle to get say bread and I come back, there is always some guy it seems trying to spit game. It is what it is. It then feels good when the "player" sees me and I put my arm around her and give her a small kiss so I mark my territory and the guy knows he has no shot.

So in the back of my head I have this feeling like some rich tall dark handsome fellow will swoop in one day and she will ditch me....I guess I'll now if she REALLY loves me and this is all BS for now. Her mother even tells her, "marry a rich guy". I know this girl is sick of the games and wants to settle and have kids which I don't want yet until I have x amount in the bank to support them...

I'm sorry for the ramble but should I just not worry so much and go with the flow? Don;t get the impression of selling myself short or lack of confidence either in myself. It's almost as if I foresee things and plan for the worst so I'm not heart broken again even when things are going well which i want them to stay at

[smackie9]

Soooooo I doubt that it's your lack of wallet size is the cause of your relationships demise, but your cynical attitude and narrow mindedness about women in general. If this is a repeat event, then the problem may lie within you.

It's so sad that you have to "check" her phone to be sure she isn't performing some charade. I feel sorry for a nice girl that gets stereo typed because she is attractive. This is the trade off when you date an attractive girl...she will always have guys hitting on her. The thing is you need to learn trust her. Just appreciate the fact that you finally met someone that means the world to you and you mean the world to her.....make sure she knows how lucky you feel, and never ever question her love for you.

[cuddler]

I am not "stereotyping" attractive women. I know for a fact this girl banged 5 guys in past year before me. She's an alchoholic in and out of rehabs and right now IS getting better treatment. I am afraid of a relapse of her where it will happen again. I constantly check on her each day when she is not with me. I am proud the steps she is making and I can tell she probably never had a guy like me that genuinely cares.

She does right now mean the world to me and I sort of feel the same from her. It's all about TRUST and HONESTY. I haven't seen her in 3 days(just talked over phone). I am seeing her tomorrow at 2PM and picking her up and will take your advice and tell her how lucky I feel and for me, I must start using the words "I love you" at thios point. I don;t just blurt that out every day. That takes a lot for me to say...

[basilandthyme]

You told us that she was beautiful and smart - these things mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. The problems lie with her alcoholism and your paranoia. Individually, each of these things can break a relationship, but together....the relationship is doomed.

[cuddler]

Your life is doomed Basil and sorry about your misfortunes but stop hating on others