She said I took too long, can I get her back?

[TheMightyQuinn0]

Around 2 months ago a met a beautiful girl at a party, we both liked each other from the moment we made eye contact but didn't speak that much because her English isn't great, so her friend (who I was already friends with) arranged for us to see each other a few weeks later at Halloween. So eventually Halloween came and we didn't even talk to each other, mainly because 90% of the people there were foreign and she was surrounded by them the entire time, so I felt completely out of place.

Her friend, realising this, said that she would organise a movie night between us. The next day I added this girl on Facebook, asked her out for a coffee and she replied saying she'd love to but she's busy and that we can see each other at the movie night, which was fine by me. So eventually we begin talking more and more on FB, conversations lasting for hours almost every day. Eventually the movie night arrives, we go to the movies with 2 of my friends and the girl I like who was with the friend who organised it. It's really awkward because, although I'm sitting next to her, we're both too shy to make any moves, so AGAIN, nothing happens. The following day I tell her on FB that I wanted to talk to her more at the movies, she basically said, "haha yeah I wanted you to badly", to which I replied, "Can we see a movie next week, just the two of us?". She said she'd love to and she would much prefer just us.

Here's where everything goes wrong.. again. We continue talking a lot on FB until we see each other, I arrive early, buy our tickets and we walk into the theatre; we're sat next to each other, talk for a bit and, eventually (halfway through the movie) I put my arm around here, she moves close to me and I rub her arm slightly. My mistake? I didn't kiss her. When the movie ended we walked slowly around for a bit, talking and enjoying the conversation. I found it refreshing because we hadn't talked much in person at all before that night (and we had known each other for 1.5 months), we got to her door and I gave her a hug and told her that I enjoyed it etc. We spoke on FB later on and she told me that I impressed her because she knows I'm shy, we continue talking and she tells me that I'm cute. The next time we speak is on FB again a few days later, I can immediately tell something is different by the 'tone' of the conversation; it seems more forced etc. We talk a couple more times and, around 9 days after the movie, I ask her how she feels, she says her feelings have changed and that she has basically lost interest, mainly because I didn't do anything meaningful (the kiss, or lack of). The thing is, I've only been in 1 relationship previously (I'm 24, she's 20) and I'm lacking experience.. also, she seemed to expect me to initiate EVERYTHING, even if I'm unsure of her feelings. So, the day before I go home for Christmas break, I leave a box of chocolates in her mail box with a note saying sorry.

I spoke to the friend who introduced us asking if she thinks it's possible to start over; she said that if we both cool it off over the break and speak to each other in the New Year, maybe it's possible to start again.. the friend also said she'd really like to see that happen, as she believes we'd make a good couple. I'm aware of my mistakes and.. the regret caused by those mistakes is almost unbearably painful, as, if I had had more confidence, things could be so different. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, not to mention the sweetest, so I'd love for it to work out. Do you guys think I have any chance?

Oh, another mistake was lack of face-to-face contact time, we talked on FB so much that talking in person sometimes felt strained. Was my mistake really that bad? Or am I to be forgiven for not possessing the ability to read minds?

[3mK]

Short story : Move on.

Woman want strong man, and I don't want to put you down, but not initiating any more contact besides putting your arm around her hurt you. She probably wanted you to kiss her all night and you didn't which probably upset her. You should have gotten her phone number earlier on and ignored all this FB chat crap. I am a firm believer that you can't get anything accomplished with a woman through texting or FB chat. You have to flirt face-to-face to truly gauge someones possible romantic interest in you. And if you can't meet face-to-face you should have at least called her and had a phone conversation where you could actually portray someones emotions through their voice rather then just reading a string on text gibberish.

Sorry dude.