My log distance love

[Amazing Grace]

I am 21 and am in love with a man 27. We have known eachother for the past 5 years, going on 6. We have never met, but we have shared so much, as much as 2 people can share. I know it may sound silly to everyone, but he has my heart. He calls me his flower, and we have been through so much. Our winter's have been always bad, but not so bad to me, as long as my love stayed with me. We are to meet soon. I am almost done school, and its what we both have waited for, for years.

We have our arguments, for whatever reasons, we have both hurt eachother, that is for sure. But we know what we are, and we never forgot and we always stuck things out, but these last going on 2 weeks now, I feel him pulling away, shutting down, going into a *shell as he always called it. This time around though, he is not coming around so easy, and I feel so alone. I sent him messages and he replies, but they are most not happy responses, they are of his over thinking, something he does from time to time. Tonight, I never heard from him once, and he knows thru the years, its something I hate the most. He told me he wants personal space, I just dont know why now? Well, I do know because its winter and he is so blue, he lives in Canada and its so cold there and he works nights and never sees the sun. I am righ know sitting here missing him so much and our closeness that we both just shared this time last week. He also lives at home with his mom, and has unplugged the phone. He said its because of strange calls, but now I cant call him either. I miss him so much, but feel so cut off.

I dont know what to do? I feel like I no longer make who I love in this whole world happy.... I think he is leaving me. Im so alone and I am so afraid. Please help me...and thank you.

[someguyintexas]

Amazing Grace, most of the people here are going to tell you he is cheating on you and for you to move on... I think I understand where you are at right now, keep loving him and showing him how much you love him. I used one of the online greeting card sites that lets you create your own cards. I sent one a week, on the face of the card I put "Do you remember?" with pictures or clip-art then on the inside I would tell her a special memory and what it meant to me. Remind him why he fell in love with you. Don't just walk away if you feel its a love worth fighting for...

[Amazing Grace]

Its just so hard. I see him online in other places, but just not to me... I hurt. I dont know what to do, to be honest. How can he say he loves me and he is still glad Im his when Im not feeling like his right now...I miss him, I miss everything about him, but the winter is just terrible on him and I just dont know what to do, or say or anything.. he has just cut me off and cut me out...I feel so alone and left behind... why, is he going away? we used to talk in the morning, and he said he would today, but said he didnt think we were still doing that and now tonight, he isnt contacting me at all..I know hes not cheating, I trust him... I feel like Im dying... =/ My heart is not doing good.

[someguyintexas]

It hurts... I just found out my fiance had been cheating on me for a year, she lives 300 miles away from me right now but is moving back so we can save our relationship. I think she didn't just give up on me and move on with the guy she was cheating with because I wouldn't let her fall out of love with me. I sent her a box filled with breakfast bars and on the back of each one I wrote a reason I love her 30 bars in all... Focus your pain, I know it's all too real, on the happy thoughts of him and what you have been thru together. I won't lie to you and tell you he isn't cheating on you, he very well might be, however now is where you decide how important he is to you. You say he is your heart, my fiance is my Angel the love of my life. Don't let him go without a fight if you love him as much as you say. If he is cheating on you forgive him and look to try and understand and empathize why he would cheat.

However, right now, focus on him... On your love for him and why you love him. Remind him why he loves you. Worry about everything else as time progresses...

[someguyintexas]

I just read the part where you two have never met... Sorry, I did not pay as close attention as I thought I did when I read your original post. You placing allot of trust in someone you have never met. Just love him as you do, remember the things he did/said that made you happy. If he called you his flower you must be very beautiful to him. Tell me more about him, why do you love him so much?

[Amazing Grace]

Well... I do love him because he is himself and I always had guys who would want to try to please me so much and all the time, but they just never were so patient with me...Im young and a virgin and a hard worker, I have 3 jobs and go to nursing school full time.. I was never in relationships for the physical part of things so much because I wanted to more get to know who I was spending my time with, and I suppose because we do live far, we developed such a stong bond and friendship. We meet online every day to say hi and i love and miss you, till today. He thought we werent going to today, but I thought we did mention it in a PM on a forum where we talk sometimes a lot. But as I said, he is having a bad winter, and is just keeping is distance. He told me he wants personal space, and I want him to have that too,,,but I dont want to feel so left alone, I didnt talk to him all day today. Now, I know this may seem needy of me, but my love has taught me things, how to be a woman, and how to love a man. He says he is a man and I am to listen to him and be a good girl and when I am out of line, or dont listen to him, sometimes it can be so bad, and he goes away. I have found so much about myself and I do want to please him so much, but we go through these times where he is distant and moody and he leaves me..its just now after 5 yrs. I had wished so much those times were so bad as they are this time. I had talked to him mom of his closed off self and she told me the winter is bad on him and she is aware and told me this.

What I love about him is just everything, even his bad mood times.. I love the way we can joke, how he makes me laugh and smile and how he can calm me down when I dont feel good, and how he can love me and have me realize some things and he, well..I grew up with him so to speak. I feel so awful when I dont please him or make him happy, and the worst part of me is..I miss him so much at these times, If only I were with him IRL... but I do my best. I sent him in the mail as much as me as I could..lol, he just is my heart.. but today, he is so far away. I miss him so much. ..hey, thank you for talking to me.

[someguyintexas]

Amazing Grace... You sound "Amazing"... He is a lucky man and may just not realize it... I am going to say a couple of things quick here that I have no place talking about since it has nothing to do with your current situation... You said you are a virgin and you also said you want to please him so much... Think long and hard before you go to that end, you can't take it back and if for some reason, God forbid, you two don't stay together then you have given away your virtue for nothing but a roll in the hay.

Do you mind telling me about your favorite memory of you and him? One that makes you the happiest?

[Boisdevie]

And in our 2013 forum awards in the category of 'Most loony LDR' is Amazing Grace. Six years and you've never met. Jeez, where does he live, Saturn?

[fearoflove]

You are missing out on life by investing emotionally in this long distance relationship. Why not enjoy the people who can be physically there for you and do activities together? If you two want an actual relationship, take action to move closer to each other.

[Amazing Grace]

To answer a few questions.. My favorite memory of him, believe it or not was when I sent him a message on a MGS forum (I was just 16) I said "Hi" and he replied "what do you want?" He was just himself, and maybe it was part sarcasm and part his real side? Really, what did I want? Well, I wanted to get to know him. I never thought anything would happen, because I was 16 and in HS. Why bother? But after HS, I went to nursing school, and we stayed friends, and now it is this much later. Just time really flew. And that is the answer to the other question. I live in PA, and he is in Canada. We never met because nothing was ever so close and serious until maybe a yr or 2 ago? And also, I want to be married before I am with someone in such a way... If he leaves after that, well ... Sigh, ... I guess its a chance we all take in such things. Thanks for chatting too with me everyone... Its nice to when I really needed someone to help and you all did and you all still can. He seems better today, of which Im happy, but I still am afraid of winter time. Its our hardest time.

[Boisdevie]

We never met because nothing was ever so close and serious until maybe a yr or 2 ago? And also, I want to be married before I am with someone in such a way... If he leaves after that, well ... Sigh, ... I guess its a chance we all take in such things.

Lady, you are an idiot and you need therapy.

[Amazing Grace]

Why is that? Because I just don't want to lay down with just anyone? I'm 21, what's my hurry?

[someguyintexas]

Why is that? Because I just don't want to lay down with just anyone? I'm 21, what's my hurry?

Traditional Values are lost here I have found... Love is a little thin as well, most of the advise I have seen is "Move on and get over it" I just don't get it. Love Advise?

[someguyintexas]

We need to teach our daughters to know the difference between :
A man who flatters her and a man who compliments her.
A man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her.
A man who views her as property and a man who views her properly.
A man who lusts after her and a man who loves her.
A man who believes he's a gift to women, and a man who believes she's a gift to him.
And then we need to teach our sons to be that kind of man.

[basilandthyme]

I dont know what to do? I feel like I no longer make who I love in this whole world happy.... I think he is leaving me. Im so alone and I am so afraid. Please help me...and thank you.

You're probably right when you say that you're no longer making him happy: Most people need to be in close proximity to have a healthy relationship which meets their needs. I'm sure you and he get on very well, but who is going to give him a hug when he needs it?

I'm curious about why you haven't met. He's in Canada and you're in Pennsylvania....It's not like you're oceans apart. What's the reasoning behind neither of you making the effort to see the other?