Is it too soon to bring this up ?

[Balance11]

Okay so here is a brief background: Me and this girl have along history, met about 4 years ago we started kinda seeing each other but I left things too late, failed to capitalize on 2 dates, one night out and a sleep over (no sex) and she moved on, Said she just saw me as a friend by that point and then we stopped talking mostly but she'd text me on my birthday and vice versa, that went on for about 3 years.

This year she kept talking to me, arranged to meet up with me and we went out, had a great time spent like 7 hours together having coffee then went for drinks, it was great. Part of the conversation was about both of us wanting more serious plans for life, she also told me about 2 guys she'd been seeing and they hadn't worked out, one guy she really like (the one she moved onto) messed her around but she showed me a text to clarify she was over him now (he texted twice she didn't reply).


She suggested another meet up and I took the opportunity to arrange one which will be tomorrow, we're going for a meal then drinks again and we've been texting all week.

Basically after leaving it too long last time and being told I just see you as a friend, to her going out of her way to contact me and arrange meetings, I'm not sure where this is going. I'd love to ride the wave and maybe get 3-4 dates under my belt but that was the mistake last time, waiting too long, but I don't want to be too serious and be like 'be my girlfriend now' I mean that's where I'd like things to go maybe beginning of next year sometime ish.

but for now I just want clarity that she's seeing me for the same reasons and not 'as friends' or just to mess me around.


Is 2 dates too soon to bring this up ?

[Wakeup]

make sure you kiss her like you want her for more then a friend. If she pulls back or doesn't let you at all, then next her because you'll be heading from the friend zone again only this time you'll be paying for the priviledge of her gracing you with her company.

P.S. Don't accept any invites to sleep in her bed BEFORE you've already had sex. Keep beds for you sleeping alone in or you sleeping with someone you've already established that you're more then a live teddy bear or male girlfriend. With this day and age of opposite sex friendships, sleeping in a bed with someone pre sexual hookup is just going to blurr the lines as to where you stand with one another.

P.P.S. Don't talk to her about this because you'll just put undue pressure on her to decide something she's probably not wanting to decide. Seduce her (then go in for the kiss) and establish that YOU want more then to be a platonic friend to her. If she won't give you that, then just don't call her again.

[michelle23]

Yes I agree. Flirt with her on your date, try to hold her hand. If everything is going well kiss her good luck

[LoveCanHurt]

Kiss and flirt and bring up lots of what ifs....
You do have the history for an inclusive relationship...
She is either into you and regrets breaking off, or she is using you as an inbetweener when there is no one else..

[smackie9]

If the guy doesn't make a pass at me by the second date then he gets a big fat zero. Grow a set and kiss her.

[Balance11]

Thank you for the advice you lovely people, but unfortunately in the 2 days leading upto the date she didn't reply to my text and on the day itself she text to say she couldn't make it, her brother who works away was coming up for the last time before christmas and then she had work all night (despite telling me she was off before and not bothering to mention work till now). Her lack of texting was due to illness apparently and she forgot..... okay. So i'm not really going to pursue this one.

It looked great, we liked each other before went our separate ways and then started to rekindle but i can recognize the signs of someone not that into you and she's nailed them all in 3 days she did this before and well look how it went last time, not well.

It's a shame i really love the girl always have done she's an amazing person, but also ignorant of how someone else feels apparently. Any advice you can offer after this would be fantastic as always.

Thank you all again.

[HDBadger]

Cut contact with her. Ignore her calls/texts. She's either a flake or a game player.

[Wakeup]

Thank you for the advice you lovely people, but unfortunately in the 2 days leading upto the date she didn't reply to my text and on the day itself she text to say she couldn't make it, her brother who works away was coming up for the last time before christmas and then she had work all night (despite telling me she was off before and not bothering to mention work till now). Her lack of texting was due to illness apparently and she forgot..... okay. So i'm not really going to pursue this one.

It looked great, we liked each other before went our separate ways and then started to rekindle but i can recognize the signs of someone not that into you and she's nailed them all in 3 days she did this before and well look how it went last time, not well.

It's a shame i really love the girl always have done she's an amazing person, but also ignorant of how someone else feels apparently. Any advice you can offer after this would be fantastic as always.

Thank you all again.

Block and delete her from contacting you at all. She's an idiot and you sound like you're a good guy that some non-idiot woman would be glad to have. She's not worthy, Balance.

[Balance11]

Thank you all for your advice and time and happy Christmas to to you all ! :-)

[anastasis]

I don't know. I'd probably dump her. I can't stand women who don't know what they want or are scared or whatever. The way I see it, if I can lose them, I need to lose them.

Whatever you do, don't let her play you just for some social goof off time. Women do that crap.

[Balance11]

I just don't get the girl, she goes out of her way (initially at least) to make contact, spurting crap about rekindling, arrange a meeting, stays at the meeting for 7 hours, text immediately after its over, agrees to another meeting, texts all week and then over the course of the said week between 'dates' seems to lose interest and finally flakes out and reverts back to not being interested. I mean assuming her excuses were genuine she would have arranged another date but she didn't she glossed right over it and asked me some crap about how was work. **** i know woman are weird creatures but this tops all my experiences.

[Lord Darkshire]

Someone else could be in her orbit and she's gravitating towards them.

[Wakeup]

Why are you even replying to her still? Stop mind-fking yourself and ignore her.

[Balance11]

That was the same text when she flaked on me Wakeup, however she did text me today (2days of no texting) saying something about meeting up next times she's off. I don't get it, i've never met someone as awkward as her, other girls its straight up yes, no or ignored which is basically a no.

[Wakeup]

I hope you ignored her because offering to meet up "next time I'm off" is hardly a commitment. She's fluff, flick her away.