Guys whats your reasons for pulling away in the past?

[cherryblossom20]

Hey,

So I'm really interested to know from a guys perspective what has been your reasons in the past for pulling away from a girl?

This seems to be a re occuring theme for me everything seeems amazing in first few weeks, the guy pursues like a man possessed introduces me to his mates/family wants to take me away etc I'm always pretty friendly but remain at distance then the guy tends to start pulling away for no reason. Sometimes I think its when I show a tiny bit of interest they back away which seems totally odd when they come on so strong at the start.

So guys what have been your reasons? Did you need some breathing space despite still being interested?


Many thanks!

[ChloeGirl]

This is a really good question and I look forward to reading the responses.

[Wakeup]

I'm always pretty friendly but remain at distance then the guy tends to start pulling away for no reason

I think your "remaining distant" has a lot to do with your own particular negative pattern.

BTW: If you remain distant, then how can you be showing him your the "tiniest bit interested?" Things that make you go, hmmmmm.

[cherryblossom20]

Thanks! Guys please we need you to start replying!

[ChloeGirl]

Well not in my case. I can hardly keep a man for some reason. I always get taken advantage of but I normally end it relatively fast except for this last guy.

[cherryblossom20]

No not at all just in the first week or so I certainly shown my true self but dont show all my cards at once until I feel its something worth pursuing, but it seems as soon as I start initiating things they back off

[Wakeup]

How much do you pursue? Pursuit is a fine dance. You have to show you're interested but you can't come across as a bunny-boiler either. Maybe you'd do better to show you're interest in non-initiating actions. You can show you're enthusiasm to a guy buy just accepting his invitation and being interested in him when you're out with him. You don't have to start actually doing any inviting or initiating after the first invite from him (or the first week of knowing him and before he's sure whether or not you're worth getting to know). Have you ever read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You?" It's fluffy but it has some very basic stuff that I think you should read that tells you about being the "initiator" and how that often times doesn't work when done too soon.

Good luck.
Looking forward to what some of the men have to say.

[Wakeup]

Well not in my case. I can hardly keep a man for some reason. I always get taken advantage of but I normally end it relatively fast except for this last guy.

If you keep doing what you've always done, then you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. Change up your M.O. Chloe.

[RipVanWinkleX]

I never pulled away from a woman. Woman pull away from me. So what's your reason

[cherryblossom20]

I dont really initiate much tbh, but here is an example a guy recently introduced me to his dad after a week, yet when I suggested him meet me for a drink with me and a mate he bailed. Samething happened with a guy before that - met his mates and brother after a week yet when I suggested we do something like head for a picnic to the park he bailed!

[cherryblossom20]

Rip are you coming on to strong?

[cherryblossom20]

Hmmm I'm wondering if the answer is here http://www.ivillage.com/forums/love-sex/relationship-problems/mas/my-affair-support/interesting-article-about-men-pulling-away

[smackie9]

You want a guy to stay, you need to start acting like a sex kitten, and show sexual desire, not romantic clinginess. Heavy flirting, lookin hot, teasing them, pullin them in then pushing them back....sexual tension is key. The sexual build up drives them going crazy and them wanting more.

[cherryblossom20]

Ok so what if you already have had sex? And they acted normally afterwards but slowly started to fade? Normally I wouldnt have sex so soon but we spent a lot of time together so it felt natural, plus we are in our mid thirties so not about playing games.

[cherryblossom20]

Ok so what if you already have had sex? And they acted normally afterwards but slowly started to fade? Normally I wouldnt have sex so soon but we spent a lot of time together so it felt natural, plus we are in our mid thirties so not about playing games.