Girlfriend gets annoyed when I have a problem.

[jameson415]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years now. We live about an hour away from each other.
I'm her first boyfriend and I have been in relationships before, but each of them have ended up in me being dumped because I've been messed around with and hurt.

Because of this, I worry a lot and when I'm down about me and her...it gets to me...loads...makes me really upset.

She has always told me that when there is something bothering me, I can go to her and she will help me, but when it comes down to it, she just gets annoyed. It makes me feel pathetic but as well as that, it makes me feel like she doesn't care when I'm upset...she just wants it to stop and it usually develops into an argument...which ends with me apologizing just because I want the argument between me and her to stop.

Sometimes I wonder "How can I be with someone who just gets annoyed with me when I'm upset?" but then, the thought of leaving her is unbearable.

I kinda need some help...some advice...I really dont know what to do or what to say to her.

[smackie9]

The thought of leaving her is unbearable leads me to believe your co-dependency for her and probably why your past relationships were fails. You are too passive, roll over for them, clingy, too sensitive, worried about rocking the boat....those girls probably couldn't escape your grasp of dependency that they ended up dumping you to get away. This is not a healthy thing you have going on here. You need to change on how you look at things. I think you let even the smallest of things get to you that it can at times consume you. It's great to have someone that is supportive, but a GF is not your therapist.

If you need an outlet to vent your frustrations, or need support, this would be the place to get it. Give that a try and see if us taking the load off helps your relationship.

[jameson415]

After thinking about it with a clear head...I think you're right...it would explain why I've been dumped before.
This wasn't the advice I was hoping for when I made my post...but what you have said has made sense...I've never gone to anyway else for help and instead, I've tried tried resolving the conflicts my own way and I can see now that it was simply the wrong way!

Thank you, and I'll save this page and look back on it if I find myself in this situation again

[Cerby]

Sounds like James isn't talking about all problems, sounds like her gets insecure about the relationship, needs validation from here that "things are ok, I'm not screwing around on you, I love you" etc, and she isn't interested in giving it because as well all know - being with a needy partner can really suck.

[basilandthyme]

Jameson, what type of problems are you talking about with her? There's a big difference between, say, school issues and relationship issues.

Can you provide some details about what you're bothered about and why it hasn't been resolved?

[HeartIsAching]

Sounds like James isn't talking about all problems, sounds like her gets insecure about the relationship, needs validation from here that "things are ok, I'm not screwing around on you, I love you" etc, and she isn't interested in giving it because as well all know - being with a needy partner can really suck.

That's exactly what it sounded like to me... and lemme tall ya OP, that gets old fast. Yes, it will lead people to dump you when the get tired of reassuring you.

[Darkmoon3778]

Sounds like you need alot of attention, dont do that, it does lead anywhere pretty...
Relatioships are about control to some dregree..
Its not your job to hold the relationship together, nor is it hers, its something you do together, and if you cant, it wont hold out in the long run

[smackie9]

The OP quickly exited and probably went to another site.....and gave me a negative rep point. Douchey. You guys are wasting your time.